Extras! Avengers XXX, Sergio Leone's Once Upon A Time in America gets even longer, Robert Pattinson hates Twilight, Charlize Theron joins Rupert Wyatt's Agent 13, Samuel L Jackson hints at SHIELD movie, and Shia Lebeouf is a murderous cannibal who will chase you through the woods?! Plus much more!

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Welcome to The Extras! A daily dose of all the smaller movie related news, clips and just plain cool stuff that you might have missed!

We kick off today with a bang (pun most definitely intended) with this poster for porn parody Avengers XXX. You might be wondering why I’m reporting on an adult film here, and well it’s simple really: Today is the first day in ages that there hasn’t been some new image or clip released for Joss Whedon’s film and we needed to feed our Avengers addiction somehow.

Oh and your eyes are not deceiving you, that is indeed ex-WWE wrestler Chyna (famous for having biceps only bested in size by her breasts) starring as She-Hulk. Also, I really do not want to know where Hawkeye is aiming those suspiciously tipped arrows of his.

After just how unexpectedly amazing Rise of the Planet of the Apes was, everybody has been eagerly awaiting to see what sophomore director Rupert Wyatt will be doing next. Well, besides the Apes sequel of course. And it looks like he he will sticking to science fiction with Agent 13 and that whatever it is (there are no current plot details) it will be starring Charlize Theron.

There are very few people/things in Hollywood as cool as Quentin Tarantino. Joshua Budich’s poster homage to QT’s films comes pretty damn close.

We’ve heard quite a bit about the possible next wave of Marvel movies: there’s Edgar Wright’s long in development Ant-Man film, and lately we’ve heard rumbles of both Dr Strange (meh) and Guardians of the Galaxy (Hell to the yes!). But now thanks to an interview that Samuel L. Jackson gave MTV, we might possibly have another contender in a Nick Fury: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. movie.

“I don’t know how much of S.H.I.E.L.D. [Marvel] want[s] to expose…I mean, we’re not superheroes. We’re more of a shadow world. So, it would be more like Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy with good toys—closer to a Bond movie than a superhero movie.”

Damn, Marvel. Get this made. And I’m not only saying that because I feel an espionage tinged film in the Marvel superhero universe – headlined by Nick Fury, Black Widow and Hawkeye – would make for a great cinematic experience. No, most importantly, we need another Nick Fury film to once and for all erase the memory of that painfully atrocious David Hasselhoff movie.

The Cannes film festival is about to start, and it’s just been announced that a digitally restored version of Sergio Leone’s classic Prohibition era epic Once Upon a Time in America will also be screening. “What makes this version worthy of a re-release 28 years after it originally premiered at the very same festival?”, you ask. Well besides for the cleaner image it also adds in an additional 40 minutes of footage bringing the total running time to a butt-cheek destroying 269 minutes. For those of you whose maths has deserted you on the cusp of the weekend that’s a 4 and a half hour long film!

And now for something drenched in W with a healthy dose of TF: What if Lars Von Trier made a live-action Donald Duck movie. Obviously, if you’ve ever seen a Lars Von Trier movie, you’d know that this one is kinda NSFW.

My antagonistic relationship with Twilight is very well documented. And while a lot of my scorn is directed towards Ol’ One-Face Stewart, I’ve always felt a bit of a begrudging respect for her co-star Robert Pattinson. He’s actually a very talented actor with great potential, who unfortunately is hamstrung by the material he has to work with. And if you think that that’s just my biased opinion, then you need to go read Dustin Knowles’ article over on Pajiba titled How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love the RPatz, where he documents quotes from Pattinson that makes it abundantly clear that despite it having made him a millionaire, he dislikes Twilight every bit as much as I do.

Maybe it’s the realization that there are millions of women out there, old enough to be his mother, who have his face in their thoughts when they touch themselves.

Also over on Pajiba, they take a look at 10 Now Beloved Actors Who We Wrote Off Too Soon. On top of it being a pretty great list, another reason I can confidently recommend you to click that link is the fact that they describe James van der Beek as “The Most Enormous Penis In The History Of Teen Melodrama on “Dawson’s Creek””. That kind of blend of comedy and 100% truthful fact is always worth appreciating.

Remember how I was saying yesterday that Jason Statham is not exactly what you might call a thespian, but that as long as he kept finding creative ways to give people impromptu reconstructive facial surgery, we really didn’t mind? Well it turns out that he feels the same way, as he revealed to the BBC:

“I don’t want to upset the apple cart. I don’t want to try something for the sake of doing something different.”

“Doing something different is for great character actors. I don’t see myself as a great character actor that will play a lawyer and then something bizarrely different. That’s not what my strength is.”

“I enjoy what I’m doing. I’m making a career out of something that I’m enjoying.”

Here’s a new on-set look of Armie Hammer as the titular masked lawman in Gore Verbinski’s Lone Ranger.

And in case you were wondering, no those are not Native American members of the Bonsai tribe. Armie is just really, really tall.

Shia “The Beef” LeBeouf takes a lot of flak from the public. People are always ragging him for his LeBeoufness (that’s totally a word, I promise) when it’s just a case of him being typecast so often. I have a feeling though that there’d be far fewer servings of haterade being dished out if people knew his dark, deadly secret:

It’s stuck in your head now, isn’t it?

And on that murderous note, I have to unfortunately say goodbye. I would like to leave some kind of witty message here, but unfortunately every single time I go digging into my brain for something funny, all I get in return is SHIA LEBOUF!!

Last Updated: April 20, 2012

Kervyn Cloete

A man of many passions - but very little sleep - I've been geeking out over movies, video games, comics, books, anime, TV series and lemon meringues as far back as I can remember. So show up for the geeky insight, stay for the delicious pastries.

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