Movies out Today: 9 September 2016

Let’s get this out of the way first: just because Sausage Party is animated doesn’t mean it’s for children. Please, for the love of all that is good, don’t take the kids along to this one! But don’t take them to see Fireman Sam either, have some respect for decent entertainment.

• Sausage Party
  

  Age restriction: 16 D L S V

Life is good for all the food items that occupy the shelves at the local supermarket. Frank (Seth Rogen) the sausage, Brenda (Kristen Wiig) the hot dog bun, Teresa Taco and Sammy Bagel Jr. (Edward Norton) can’t wait to go home with a happy customer. Soon, their world comes crashing down as poor Frank learns the horrifying truth that he will eventually become a meal. After warning his pals about their similar fate, the panicked perishables devise a plan to escape from their human enemies.

Raucous, raunchy and very, very rude, Sausage Party is everything you’d expect from the minds of Seth Rogan and Evan Goldberg. It’s a slap in the face to everything decent and wholesome, but that’s probably what makes it great. Please don’t expect anything else!

Rotten Tomatoes: 82%
Metacritic: 66

Book now at Nu Metro or Ster Kinekor

• Sully
  

  Age restriction: PG

On January 15, 2009, the world witnessed the “Miracle on the Hudson” when Captain “Sully” Sullenberger glided his disabled plane onto the frigid waters of the Hudson River, saving the lives of all 155 aboard. However, even as Sully was being heralded by the public and the media for his unprecedented feat of aviation skill, an investigation was unfolding that threatened to destroy his reputation and his career.

Sully is good old-fashioned drama, no extra frills or fuss. The quality of work from Tom Hanks and director Clint Eastwood is impeccable as always, and the story itself is stirring and inspirational. All in all, Sully is a solid, entertaining movie that deserves all the praise it gets.

Rotten Tomatoes: 81%
Metacritic: 78

Book now at Nu Metro or Ster Kinekor
Book now for IMAX, exclusive to Ster Kinekor

• Morgan
  

  Age restriction: 16 L V

A corporate troubleshooter (Kate Mara) is sent to a remote, top-secret location, where she is to investigate and evaluate a terrifying accident. She learns the event was triggered by a seemingly innocent “human,” who presents a mystery of both infinite promise and incalculable danger.

Sort of sci-fi, kind of a thriller, a little bit of horror… Morgan can’t really decide what it wants to be. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, and the mish-mash of parts kind of work together, but the split focus means that Morgan’s interesting premise is never fully developed. Instead it ends up following the same old clichés and completely falters in the third act. Pity, as it could have been a lot more than it really is.

Rotten Tomatoes: 41%
Metacritic: 48

Book now at Nu Metro or Ster Kinekor

• Chocolat
  

  Age restriction: TBA

The esteemed history of the clown, Chocolat, who achieved great success in the late 19th century after becoming the first black circus artist in France in 1886. Forming a comedy duo with white clown, George Footit, the two created a special universe in which the white clown was authoritative and the black clown, a scapegoat.

Well, this is confusing. I thought Chocolat was that movie with Johnny Depp? Turns out Chocolat is also a movie about a clown, and that makes it surprisingly hard to Google. And it’s in French, which makes it not-so-surprisingly hard to understand. There aren’t many reviews out for it yet, but the ones that I could find are all positive. With great acting from Omar Sy and a bittersweet story, expect some solid, arthouse fair. And hopefully some subtitles.

Rotten Tomatoes: no average review score yet

Book now at Ster Kinekor

• Fireman Sam: Heroes Of The Storm
  

  Age restriction: TBA

Fireman Sam and the team spring into action in a race against time as an approaching hurricane threatens Pontypandy and its residents, shortly after opening the brand new fire station. Sam rushes to warn Penny and the children at the old mines before they flood, leaving Elvis in charge of the station and getting residents to safety.

So, I went hunting for a trailer and instead I found the full movie online. And let me tell you, despite the title sounding like a super awesome epic action fest, Fireman Sam is just… wow. I have no words, that’s how ridiculous it is. I mean, I know that this is children’s entertainment, but COME ON! Are you trying to give future generations brain damage? Because that’s what’s going to happen if they watch this! Never mind what’s going to happen to their poor parents, sheesh.

Book now at Ster Kinekor

For more info on what the age ratings mean, click here.

Last Updated: September 9, 2016