Home Entertainment Critics are tearing Batman V Superman apart

Critics are tearing Batman V Superman apart

2 min read
85

BvS-Lisa

Listen, if your movie doesn’t feature at least one scene of emotions set during the digging of a World War One trench to a French soundtrack, then chances are that your film isn’t going to go over well with the snobbiest of critics who generally pull their nose upwards at the mere sight of spandex on spandex violence.

Comic book movies may be all the rage right now, but few of them ever earn the acclaim that they genuinely deserve for being a fun two-hour diversion packed to the gills with bloated CGI budgets. Take Batman V Superman: Dawson’s Creek for example. It’s not a bad movie. In fact, it’s a damn fun movie according to our part-time Jason Voorhees impersonator, Kervyn.  That doesn’t mean that it doesn’t have issues, but these can be glossed over.

Other critics however, aren’t nearly as forgiving as Kervyn however, as their reviews are currently hitting the last son of Krypton harder than the collateral damage of Metropolis in Man of Steel. On MetaCritic right now, Batman V Superman holds a collective rating of 47, while the other cinematic aggregator site of Rotten Tomatoes has the film pegged at a critical consensus of 37.

Here’s what the other critics have to say so far:

Total Film – 60/100

BVS-CT-0110

While Batman v Superman has no trouble quickening the pulse, it’s less effective when it comes to making you care.

Geoff

BVS-27380

The best part of #BatmanVSuperman was the Stan Lee cameo.

Chicago Tribune – 38/100

BVS-29362r

A near-total drag, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice plays like a loose, unofficial quarter-billion-dollar remake of The Odd Couple, in which Oscar and Felix are literally trying to kill each other.

The Telegraph – 40/100

Batman-vs-superman-2.jpg

No major blockbuster in years has been this incoherently structured, this seemingly uninterested in telling a story with clarity and purpose.

The Hollywood Reporter – 40/100

Batman-vs-superman-3.jpg

The villain here, Jesse Eisenberg’s Lex Luthor, is so intensely annoying that, very early on, you wish Batman and Superman would just patch up their differences and join forces to put the squirrely rascal out of his, and our, misery.

Time – 40/100

BVS-25074-cc

Batman v Superman lunges for greatness instead of building toward it: It’s so topheavy with false portent that it buckles under its own weight.

Entertainment Weekly – 58/100

Batman-vs-superman-5.jpg

I get that this mano a supermano story line is a sacred text among comic-book aficionados, but Dawn of Justice doesn’t do the tale any favors. It’s overstuffed, confusing, and seriously crippled by Eisenberg’s over-the-top performance.

Of course, tastes may vary, and if you’re going in to see Batman and Superman clobber each other then you most likely consider movie critics to be the type of people who bottle their own farts.  I’m genuinely hoping that the critical consensus is massively wrong, as I’d like to walk out of my local IMAX without buyers remorse tomorrow.

Last Updated: March 23, 2016

85 Comments

  1. Admiral Chief in New York

    March 23, 2016 at 14:34

  2. Jonah Cash

    March 23, 2016 at 14:35

    Movie reviews doesn’t mean jack shit to me. Apparently my taste can’t be summed up by other people who see movies for a living. I just go and watch the movies I want to and to hell with “critics”!

    Reply

    • Tracy Benson

      March 23, 2016 at 14:38

      A lot of the time critics are cynical and jaded by the sheer number of movies they see. Find critics with tastes comparable to your own and believe their reviews, but by no means should you always go on the general consensus. I trust Kervyn’s reviews as we have similar tastes and like the same things in movies.

      Reply

      • Greylingad[CNFRMD]

        March 23, 2016 at 14:43

        ALL OF THE SENSE!!! YOU’VE JUST SPOKEN IT!!!!

        Reply

        • Admiral Chief in New York

          March 23, 2016 at 14:58

          ?u??n??? p???? ??? ???nb dn ?u??q s?op ??s ‘????

          Reply

          • Greylingad[CNFRMD]

            March 23, 2016 at 15:59

            NO!!!! Not this torture again!!!

            DAMMIT!!!!

      • Jim Hogan (Banana Hulk Hogan)

        March 23, 2016 at 14:48

        I don’t trust Kervyn, because he doesn’t own a smoking jacket or a monocle.

        Reply

        • Tracy Benson

          March 23, 2016 at 14:50

          How do you know? Maybe he only brings out the smoking jacket and monocle on special occasions…

          Reply

      • RinceThis

        March 23, 2016 at 15:19

        Agreed. As much as I am loath to say it, I share Kerv’s views on many movies.

        Reply

      • Jonah Cash

        March 24, 2016 at 07:56

        I understand what you are saying as I trust the Lazygamer crew for game reviews. But I don’t think I take movies as serious as I do games, so I truly just go and watch whatever I want without ever reading a review. To make a mistake with a movie will cost me R100 which I can afford. To make a mistake with a game is R900 which I don’t think anyone can afford.
        Movies are my get away from the world pleasure but only lasts for 2 hours where a good game can get me away from stupidity for 30 hours.

        Reply

    • Sageville

      March 23, 2016 at 14:57

      Depends on the critic…

      Reply

    • geel slang

      March 24, 2016 at 12:11

      I like Snyder’s movies, even Sucker punch. Chances are Im going to love this.

      Reply

  3. Pariah

    March 23, 2016 at 14:39

    Because this is the movie the critics deserve, but not the one they need right now. So they’ll hunt it. Because the movie can take it. Because it’s not a hero, it’s a silent distraction, a watchful money thief, a bored night.

    Reply

  4. Geoffrey Tim

    March 23, 2016 at 14:40

    • Darren Peach

      March 23, 2016 at 16:11

      James Franco bought the rights to the book based on the making of this film.

      Reply

  5. Jim Hogan (Banana Hulk Hogan)

    March 23, 2016 at 14:47

    lol I haven’t been in-sync with movie reviewers for as long as I can remember. These are the same people who thought George Clooney in Solaris was great.

    Reply

    • Sageville

      March 23, 2016 at 14:58

      Solaris?

      LULZ!

      Reply

  6. Ryanza

    March 23, 2016 at 14:58

    I told you Ben Affleck was coming to fuck up Batman. I feel sorry for the people who actually went to see this on a big screen. Nice cgi fighting scenes is all you got and this ain’t no anime movie.

    Reply

    • Pariah

      March 23, 2016 at 15:03

      Yes. That’s right. This is all Ben Affleck’s fault…

      There isn’t enough facepalm in the world.

      Reply

      • Ryanza

        March 23, 2016 at 15:05

        if that is the way you want to view it. facepalm yourself and get a fucking headache

        Reply

      • RinceThis

        March 23, 2016 at 15:14

        Agreed. He was brilliant as Batman. The rest could get in the sea.

        Reply

    • RinceThis

      March 23, 2016 at 15:13

      Erm, one thing the critics are saying is he is one of the best Batmans and I completely agree.

      Reply

      • Ryanza

        March 23, 2016 at 15:17

        • Darren Peach

          March 23, 2016 at 16:15

          Dude.

          Reply

      • Gavin Mannion

        March 23, 2016 at 15:24

        I thought he was a bit shit to be honest.. boring and self opinionated

        Reply

        • Ryanza

          March 23, 2016 at 15:27

          sounds about right.

          Reply

          • Gavin Mannion

            March 23, 2016 at 15:29

            I’m a fan of Ben Affleck in generaly… Just didn’t work for me in this instance

          • Ryanza

            March 23, 2016 at 15:34

            Dare Devil series that’s happening now is good. The Dare Devil character is good. Affleck fucked up that movie. No doubt. Affleck doing Batman, yeah his going to fuck it up. No doubt.

          • Darren Peach

            March 23, 2016 at 16:18

            I felt the exact same thing, But I will reserve my judgement until I see it.

          • Darren Peach

            March 23, 2016 at 16:05

            Ben Affleck is a dickwad.

        • Alien Emperor Trevor

          March 23, 2016 at 18:20

          Yes, but how was he in the movie?

          Reply

      • Darren Peach

        March 23, 2016 at 16:13

        Daredevil………!!!!!……….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That scene where he had a mock fight with Jennifer on the teeter totter..

        Reply

  7. Raptor Rants

    March 23, 2016 at 15:03

    Wow…. That’s gotta hurt

    Reply

  8. DragonSpirit009

    March 23, 2016 at 15:06

    I never read what movie critics have to say. Cause everyone has their own taste on what is good or bad and they have their own genre that they like.
    Going to the movies while someone’s crit is stuck in the back your head can easily cause you to maybe dislike the movie, even if you said you’re going to watch it with an open mind, it still has an impact on you.

    Reply

  9. Raptor Rants

    March 23, 2016 at 15:08

    I’ll tell you what’s wrong with this movie.

    Superman. Superman is the worst comic book hero ever.

    #grabspopcorn

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief in New York

      March 23, 2016 at 15:11

      I agree with half of what you said.
      But he is no hero, he is a space hobo

      Reply

    • Pariah

      March 23, 2016 at 15:11

      Good call grabbing the popcorn. Was probably the best part of the movie. 😀

      Reply

    • Gavin Mannion

      March 23, 2016 at 15:12

      Superman was the best part of the movie by far… Batman putting on a metal suit to protect himself from Superman was easily the dumbest part..

      Reply

      • Raptor Rants

        March 23, 2016 at 15:12

        Oh I didn’t watch. I just don’t like Superman.

        Reply

      • Admiral Chief in New York

        March 23, 2016 at 15:13

        What idiot wears his underpants on the outside, I mean really

        Reply

        • RinceThis

          March 23, 2016 at 15:16

          One who hastily dresses lol

          Reply

        • Jan Prins

          March 23, 2016 at 15:19

          Says the idiot with his underpants on his head!
          *Runs

          Reply

        • Raptor Rants

          March 23, 2016 at 15:29

          He clearly doesn’t want skid marks on his undies. Duh

          Reply

          • Admiral Chief in New York

            March 23, 2016 at 15:34

            Noob spandex dude, having to still have accidents in his pants, sheesh

          • Raptor Rants

            March 23, 2016 at 15:36

            he is a space hobo remember

        • Darren Peach

          March 23, 2016 at 16:08

          Do you where boxers or traditional ?

          Reply

          • Admiral Chief in New York

            March 24, 2016 at 06:42

            *wear
            And boxers

          • Darren Peach

            March 24, 2016 at 10:33

            Lol. Did not spot that. My enreish is lekker

      • RinceThis

        March 23, 2016 at 15:15

        lol

        Reply

      • Jan Prins

        March 23, 2016 at 15:18

        This is Batman you are talking about. He would have faced Superman in his Bat-undies and won! You know why?
        Because he’s Batman!

        Reply

        • Admiral Chief in New York

          March 23, 2016 at 15:19

          Damn right

          Reply

        • Raptor Rants

          March 23, 2016 at 15:20

          Bat-undies made of cryptonite. Sounds like a sure fire way of killing all chances of little bat children running around.

          Reply

          • Admiral Chief in New York

            March 23, 2016 at 15:22

            …or creating OP kids

          • Jan Prins

            March 23, 2016 at 15:23

            *Kryptonite. And Kryptonite won’t affect Batman you dolt! Nor would it affect his bat-sperm!

          • Admiral Chief in New York

            March 23, 2016 at 15:23

            Glow in the dark spunk

    • oVg versus

      March 23, 2016 at 16:44

      He is a bit of a Muppet. He should have drop kicked the planet into the Sun long ago and be done with it.

      Reply

  10. Jac7

    March 23, 2016 at 15:14

    Sharknado has a rating of 82% on Rotten Tomatoes. That is all.

    Reply

    • RinceThis

      March 23, 2016 at 15:14

      HAHA

      Reply

    • oVg versus

      March 23, 2016 at 16:43

      A B grade art piece that was not afraid of itself. I understand the score.

      Reply

  11. Ryanza

    March 23, 2016 at 15:15

  12. Menzi Gcanga

    March 23, 2016 at 15:37

    Fuck em, still gonna go check it out.

    Reply

  13. Ghost In The Rift

    March 23, 2016 at 15:56

    Zack Snyder makes a shitty movie no body BATS an eye.
    Micheal Bay makes a shitty movie everyone looses their mind…

    Reply

    • Darren Peach

      March 23, 2016 at 16:05

      Michael Bay is not just bad, he is vulgar and so superficial it makes one sick. His so called movie star shot is a contrived piece of shit… You know, the one where the Stars look up in distress in slow mo. I read a interesting critique of Benghazi, It went something like this : He captures a grave moment when a hero dies….from the perspective of a bomb.

      Reply

      • RinceThis

        March 23, 2016 at 17:04

        hahahahahahahahaha!

        Reply

      • Alien Emperor Trevor

        March 23, 2016 at 18:18

        I heard it was explosive.

        Reply

    • Gavin Mannion

      March 23, 2016 at 16:12

      *loses

      Reply

      • Ghost In The Rift

        March 23, 2016 at 16:47

        Heh thanks, speed typing while configuring a Cisco not a good idea.

        Reply

  14. Darren Peach

    March 23, 2016 at 16:00

    Critics…. Well we can all agree that there is a standard that we all can see and feel, Sometimes critics come across as snobs. But having said all that, Are we seriously all that worried that a movie called Batman vs Superman is being panned ? I thought the new Superman was fairly good but it was also not well received.

    Reply

  15. Greylingad[CNFRMD]

    March 23, 2016 at 16:04

    WAIT!!! Where are those “scrodum” toting fanboys now?

    Reply

  16. Sovereign

    March 23, 2016 at 16:17

    Wouldn’t be the first time that I completely disagreed with critics. Let’s see them do better.

    Reply

  17. Darren Peach

    March 23, 2016 at 16:23

  18. oVg versus

    March 23, 2016 at 16:40

    Looks like it fell under its own weight. Too much too soon. Reminds me, I need to see The Watchmen again.

    http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/watchmen/

    Reply

  19. iusedtobe(a)regular

    March 23, 2016 at 21:58

    Movie goers will say otherwise.

    Reply

  20. TiMsTeR1033

    March 23, 2016 at 22:03

    I hope I enjoy this movie, but sadly so far looks like another man of steel which was a shitty movie for my tastes. Each to their own. But seems new dc movies are beyond shit. At least marvel movies try to be good…

    Reply

  21. Tbone187

    March 24, 2016 at 15:50

    More interested in watching Wonder Woman in action really. This new Superman guy looks the part but doesn’t get anywhere near Christopher Reeve performance wise…Any Batman other than Bale is bound to be a hit imo. Thought I saw Doomsday in a trailer…Why no mention of him?

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Check Also

Guilty Gear Strive Review – Better call Sol

Guilty Gear's latest chapter is its most accessible one yet, a righteous display of power …