Friday Fight Club – Not too bad fer a swordman

2 min read
2

Lets face facts. Guns and lasers aren’t the most civilised way to engage in battle. We’ve lost our honour as we progressed through society, which is something that we seek to reclaim today, with the mighty sword.

We’ve got two veterans lined up today, itching to test their metal (All the puns!) against one another, as we pit the supernatural skills of a blind warrior up against the ruthless nature of a legendary killer.Bill

Sure, he may have taken a five point palm exploding heart technique blow from ol’ Uma at the end of the second film, but you have to admit, for a pensioner, he was pretty spry with a samurai sword. Decades of training, battles and assassinations, while surrounding himself with only the most lethal of foes with which to engage.

But master sword skills and lethal hand to hand combat techniques from a reclusive racist aren’t the defining features of this cold killer. It’s the fact that Bill is inherently bad to the bone, that makes him so formidable. He’s the villain, and he’s not bound by ethics or morality, something which he has easily demonstrated before.

Rutger Hauer may not be bad for a blind man, but he’s sure as hell outmatched when it comes to pure skill and tenacity, in the form of Bill.

-Darryn

Nick Parker

This is a man who had already faced down all the horrors that the Vietnam War could throw at him, so you just know he’s seen some stuff, man. And then when he actually loses that sense of sight, he levels up with some secret Asian death-dealing skills and becomes even more of a badass!

Already a battle-hardened sneaky bastard, and now possessing a level of swordmanship that reaches into the realm of the supernatural, Parker successfully lays the physically-challenged smack down on platoons of goons who are armed (or disarmed, so to speak) with everything from baseball bats to automatic rifles.

He also boasts those patented almost-superheroic four remaining senses; able to slice and dice a wasp in mid-flight, using nothing but his hearing. And since we all know that if there’s one thing that Bill can’t do, it’s shut the hell up, you just know that he’ll quickly be taking a sword point square in the exposition.

-Kervyn

Last Updated: June 15, 2012

Darryn Bonthuys

Something wrong gentlemen? You come here prepared to read the words of a madman, and instead found a lunatic obsessed with comics, Batman and Raul Julia's M Bison performance in the 1994 Street Fighter movie? Fine! Keep your bio! In fact, now might be a good time to pray to it!

Check Also

Ghost of Tsushima is a “skill-based” brawler

Two blokes hurling chunks of sharpened steel at each other’s faces? There’s nothing romant…