We’ve seen the best of the best in our weekly Friday Fight Club feature face off against one another, but we wanted to give the underdog a chance. An underdog from the bottom of a barrel, that we scraped out of another bottom barrel.
Unfortunately, the former child stars of Three Ninjas and Surf Ninjas were unavailable, so we got some replacement combatants instead. Prepare yourself, for a slobber-knocker of bad technique and politically incorrect violence!
- Wimp Lo
Ladies, calm yourselves. Wimp Lo is more than a master of bad dubbing and having massive nipples which resemble bar coasters. He’s an expert in the fabled face to foot style, the legendary nuts to fist technique, and he has an attitude to match it!
When Wimp Lo throws a punch, several Kung Fu masters die from pure embarrassment at his relentless butchering of the noble martial arts style that they teach correctly.
When Wimp Lo talks trash, you better listen, or face the wrath of his weedy frame and baby-fat layered muscles, before you wreck yourself in pure terror. Wimp Lo is more than an almost-man, he’s a force of badly trained nature, an oncoming storm of fire and ice that won’t back down from a challenge.
He’s tepid water essentially, and if his random flailing doesn’t get you, then his squeaky shoes are certain to make you think twice before you pummel him again!
- Mr. No Legs
Mauy Thai is often referred to as the Art of Eight Limbs, for it’s highly effective ways of exacting brutality on somebody using the full functionality of all four of a fighter’s appendages. Eight limbs?! Pah! Those are for sissies!
Just feast your eyes on the deadliness of Mr No Legs! And once you’re done feasting your eyes, can you kindly move your testicles within punching range? Wait, wait… just a little lower… And KI-YAAH! Take that, conveniently close and blatantly undefended sucker!
Flying butt-kicks, reverse flying butt-kicks! Should you cross Mr. No Legs, there’s simply no limit to the vicious acts of violence this handecapitator will use against you. Well, as long as you have a habit of running at him solar plexus first, with your arms raised above your head in a vaguely mysterious manner. But if you do, it’s on!
Mr. No Legs, the real badass!
Last Updated: August 24, 2012