Movies Out Today – Rocks, jocks and mocks

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Toys looking for a legal right to be recognised, Los Angeles gets the Rock Bottom treatment and an Afrikaans film that’ll most likely be used to torture puppy-strangling convicts in the future. Here’s what’s showing at your local cinema this weekend.

  • Ted 2

Seth MacFarlane returns as writer, director and voice star of Ted 2, Universal and Media Rights Capital’s follow-up to the highest-grossing original R-rated comedy of all time. Joined once again by star Mark Wahlberg and fellow Ted writers Alec Sulkin & Wellesley Wild, MacFarlane produces the live action/CG-animated comedy alongside Bluegrass Films’ Scott Stuber, as well as John Jacobs and Jason Clark

According to critics your enjoyment of MacFarlane and Wahlberg’s Ted 2 will rely entirely on your tolerance for mildly offensive frat boy jokes and gross-out toilet humour. So basically, just like every other Seth MacFarlane movie. It’s sitting on a divisive 44% on Rotten Tomatoes.

  • San Andreas

After the infamous San Andreas Fault finally gives, triggering a magnitude 9 earthquake in California, a search and rescue helicopter pilot (Dwayne Johnson) and his estranged wife make their way together from Los Angeles to San Francisco to save their only daughter.

But their treacherous journey north is only the beginning. And when they think the worst may be over…it’s just getting started.

Possibly not the best use of the Rock and the destruction of LA here, as Nick still described in his 2-star review:

But while San Andreas tries very hard to be a popcorn-flick and goes a long way in visually stimulating people who are keen for the overtly absurd and downright silly, it fails to clinch the deal because it isn’t in anyway grounded. There are no characters we care for, no situations that we can associate with unless you spend 24 hours a day watching When Disasters Strike and some of the situations are just, well, really DUMB.

  • Three Hearts
Read  Movies out Today: 24 August 2018

A twist of fate leaves a hapless accountant (Benoît Poelvoorde) romantically torn between two sisters (Charlotte Gainsbourg and Chiara Mastroianni), in the new film from Festival veteran Benoît Jacquot (The Counterfeiters).

Word on the street is that while the romantic drama boasts great performances from the leads, it’s also so heavily steeped in its melodramatic French arthouse stylings that I’m surprised that the poster isn’t just a white flag and a baguette. Critics can’t seem to decide whether that’s a good thing or not.

  • Hollywood in My Huis

Hollywood in my Huis” is ‘n tienerkomedie met sterk liefdesdriehoekelemte, wat afspeel tydens 2004 se matriekafskeid in Suid Afrika. Dit handel oor ‘n doodgewone tiener meisie – Jana van Tonder – wat aan die ‘verkeerde kant’ van die treinspoor saam met haar disfunksionele ouers bly. Dis wanneer Charlize Theron die Oscar wen, dat Jana geinspireer word om die opkomende matriekafskeid in haar eie “Hollywood Red Carpet” glansgeleentheid te omskep!

Intussen verbreek Jana se geheime crush; Brandon, die skool se hartebreker en tenniskampioen, sy verhouding met Angelique – die skool se gewildste meisie. Jana moet nou die moed bymekaarskraap om hom na die dans toe te vra, maar dis net dan wanneer Frikkie – haar beste pel – besluit om sy ware gevoelens vir haar te wys.

Die matriekafskeid is net ‘n maand weg en Jana het ‘n moeilike besluit om te maak tussen haar beste pel… en haar droomkêrel.

Yeah, look. Just reading that synopsis, you either know whether you want to watch this movie or not. I’m going to go with “not”.

Last Updated: June 26, 2015

Darryn Bonthuys

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