Movies out today: 26 August 2016

6 min read
0

star trek beyond bridge

I’m so excited that Star Trek Beyond is finally opening so you guys can see it! Just don’t get distracted by all the other new releases, an alarming amount of which feature ladies in swimwear. Oh, and Kevin Spacey as a cat.

  • Star Trek Beyond

A surprise attack in outer space forces the Enterprise to crash-land on a mysterious world. The assault came from Krall (Idris Elba), a lizard-like dictator who derives his energy by sucking the life out of his victims. Krall needs an ancient and valuable artifact that’s aboard the badly damaged starship. Left stranded in a rugged wilderness, Kirk (Chris Pine), Spock (Zachary Quinto) and the rest of the crew must now battle a deadly alien race while trying to find a way off their hostile planet.

Oh man did I enjoy this movie. It’s fast paced and super fun, but at the same time it’s a more mature Star Trek than I’ve seen before. They’ve also managed to balance the nostalgia with the new properly this time. Most importantly, they get (almost) everything right. If you had any leftover issues with the franchise after Into Darkness like I did, you’ll definitely be happy with Beyond.

TheMovies review score: 4/5 stars
Rotten Tomatoes: 83%
Meacritic: 68

Book now at the one lonely Ster Kinekor theatre that is showing it in 2D
Book now for 3D at Nu Metro or Ster Kinekor
Book now for IMAX, exclusive to Ster Kinekor
Book now for 4DX, exclusive to Nu Metro

Extras---divider-thin

  • The Shallows

In the taut thriller THE SHALLOWS, when Nancy (Blake Lively) is surfing on a secluded beach, she finds herself on the feeding ground of a great white shark. Though she is stranded only 200 yards from shore, survival proves to be the ultimate test of wills, requiring all of Nancy’s ingenuity, resourcefulness, and fortitude.

The promo pictures I’ve seen for The Shallows honestly make this movie look like it’s just a flimsy excuse to have Blake Lively in a bikini. And while it might be just that, somehow despite the B-movie cheesiness, they also managed to make a pretty decent and entertaining thriller. Plus, you know, Blake Lively in a bikini, there’s always that to look forward to.

Rotten Tomatoes: 76%
Metacritic: 59

Book now at Nu Metro or Ster Kinekor

Extras---divider-thin

  • Nine Lives

Tom Brand is a go-getting businessman, whose workaholic lifestyle has distanced him from his beautiful wife and their adorable daughter. He finds himself in a mystical pet store to get a last minute birthday gift, where he selects a majestic tomcat. After a terrible accident on the way to the party, Tom wakes up to discover he’s trapped inside the body of the cat and has been adopted by his own family. If any hope exists of returning to his family as the husband and father they deserve, Tom will have to learn why he has been placed in this peculiar situation and the great lengths he must go to earn back his human existence.

Kevin Spacey as a cat… let that sink in for a second. Kevin Spacey… as a cat. What?! Who came up with this idea, seriously? I had some serious misgivings about this movie (to put it mildly) when the first trailer came out, and it looks like I was right. I don’t even need to tell how bad it is or why, just accept that this is a thing that should not have happened so we can sweep it under the rug and pretend it doesn’t exist.

Rotten Tomatoes: 9%
Metacritic: 11

Book now at Nu Metro or Ster Kinekor

Extras---divider-thin

  • Mechanic: Resurrection

Arthur Bishop (Jason Statham) returns as the Mechanic in the sequel to the 2011 action thriller. When the deceitful actions of a cunning but beautiful woman (Jessica Alba) force him to return to the life he left behind, Bishop’s life is once again in danger as he has to complete an impossible list of assassinations of the most dangerous men in the world.

There are no reviews for Mechanic: Resurrection out yet, and I haven’t even seen the first one, so I’m winging this on the trailer alone. Um, let see. So… Jason Statham is Jason Statham-ing it up, there’s guns, grenades and explosions galore, Jessica Alba in a bikini (what is it with the bikini-clad actresses this week?) and Tommy Lee Jones doing a bizarre Hugh Hefner impression. So, yeah, that’s basically it. You can tell it’s just going to be another crazy, shoot-em-up style action flick, no plot to speak of but who cares when Jason Statham is kicking all manner of butt? I’ve left the review site links below in case you care enough to check them out later.

Rotten Tomatoes: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Metacritic: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Book now at Nu Metro or Ster Kinekor

Extras---divider-thin

  • Dis Koue Kos, Skat

When Clara Brand discovers that her husband, Bernard, is cheating on her with her friend and colleague, Anais, things take a turn for the worse. Caught between a collapsing marriage, a ruined friendship and being a mother to her two children, Clara moves her family from Johannesburg to Cape Town in an attempt to start afresh. Here, Clara rediscovers her passion for food, begins new friendships and re-enters the world of dating for the first time in twenty years, all the while plotting her revenge on the people who wronged her.

Ok so Afrikaans comedies obviously aren’t my thing, but Dis Koue Kos, Skat will probably hit the right notes with its target audience. The trailer had me mildly entertained, up until the weird revenge bit against the stereotypical blonde poppie that she lost her middle aged, balding, dad-stache toting husband to. That’s where it left the realm of typical rom-com and to a left turn to super cheesiness.

Book now at Nu Metro or Ster Kinekor

Extras---divider-thin

  • Dora’s Peace

Dora, a Hillbrow prostitute shields a gifted young boy from the violent clutches of organized crime. In the process she may discover aspects of her own lost humanity.

The antithesis of our first local release, Dora’s Peace is a character driven movie about the dark and seedy underworld of drugs, prostitution and organised crime in Hillbrow. Not exactly a barrel of laughs, but nevertheless it’s a welcome respite from all the glossy local rom-coms we’ve been subjected to recently, even if that respite is unflinchingly hard and gritty.

Book now at Nu Metro or Ster Kinekor

Last Updated: August 26, 2016

Tracy Benson

All about movies, board games, cider, sci-fi, fantasy and geek culture.

Check Also

Movies out Today: 19 October 2018

The highly anticipated Halloween graces our screens this week, alongside the well-received…