Shia LeBeouf and co won't be having real sex for Lars Von Trier's NYMPHOMANIAC after all

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And you can now breathe a sigh of relief. Seeing Shia’s LeBeouf once before was already enough for me, but it was sounding like it would have a hardcore encore as reports had suggested that LeBeouf and co stars Charlotte Gainsborough, Stellan Skarsgard, Christian Slater, Uma Thurman and Willem Dafoe would actually be engaging in non-simulated sexual acts for controversial Danish auteur Lars Von Trier’s latest film, Nymphomaniac.

Turns out that that the actors will be keeping it all in their pants, but that doesn’t mean that you won’t be seeing their characters do it on-screen for real though.

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Producer Louise Veth spoke to reporters at Cannes (via THR) about the film, which is set to explore “the erotic life of woman (Gainsborough) from infancy to middle age” (because clearly erotic infants are what we want to see), where she revealed that while it will still be released in both a softcore and hardcore version, with the latter featuring the characters engaged in explicit, non-simulated sex acts, the hardcore version will be filmed using a combination of some digital trickery and body doubles.

“We shot the actors pretending to have sex and then had the body doubles who really did have sex and in post we will digitally combine the two. So above the waist it will be the star and below the waist it will be the doubles.”

It’s this post production chicanery that actually resulted in the film not being ready for its initially intended debut at Cannes, however Veth has now revealed that even if the film is completed, it won’t be playing on any of the stops on the festival circuit, so the first time anybody will get to see will be it’s scheduled theatrical release in Denmark on Christmas Day 2013.

This is a surprising turn of events, as earlier in the year Cannes chief Thierry Frémaux revealed that after being declared “persona non grata” for the last 2 years, Von Trier was finally being allowed back. He got himself kicked off the guest list when in 2011, during a press conference at Cannes for his film Melancholia, Von Trier responded to a question about his German roots by saying that he understood and sympathized with Hitler, before jokingly declaring himself a Nazi who wants to enact a final solution on journalists.

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Pro-tip: Don’t ever do that.

Von Trier apologized for the, well faux pas might be too slight a term, but then announced that he would no longer be appearing at or giving any interviews during any film festivals from then onwards. A declaration that many thought would end with Nymphomaniac, including Veth, who says that Von Trier has given the film his all and deserves to talk about it.

“Lars has thrown everything in this one. It’s about religion, about God, about philosophy. There’s so much to talk about with this movie. I hope he changes his mind and starts giving interviews again.”

Also weird half-CGI sexy time. I think she forgot to mention that it’s also about weird half-CGI sexy time.

Last Updated: May 22, 2013

Kervyn Cloete

A man of many passions - but very little sleep - I've been geeking out over movies, video games, comics, books, anime, TV series and lemon meringues as far back as I can remember. So show up for the geeky insight, stay for the delicious pastries.

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