The good, the bad and the ugly of the last week – 17 January 2014

2 min read


Tonight on Top Gears of War! Gavin gets forced to play FIFA 2014: Manchester United Fan Edition! Geoff tries to not make a dirty joke for an entire 15 minutes! Zoe attempts to be Batman and I take the new Atari Jaguar for a spin around our track!

Best Story

I don’t know about you, but I’m about as psyched as a piano wire salesman at an assassin convention about the idea of a sandbox Hitman game. I adored Hitman: Absolution, but if Square Enix can assemble a team to take that concept a step further into an even bigger world, then it can have all my money.

Worst Story

Stop it MSSA. Just stahp! We’ve had plenty of stories about the organisation and how they’ve got the habit of sticking their noses into events which shouldn’t concern them, but almost ruining the chances of a local team to compete in an international event for a game that they have absolutely no presence in whatsoever? Absolutely shameful.

Best ION Header


I think I’ve knocked out another great week for ION headers, thanks to my natural hatred for the female form by showing paid models who do this for a living as beautiful representations of the human body of a specific gender.

But Sunny Leone takes the most beautiful sexist cake this week, I reckon.

Most Comments

Geoff knocked out an article that earned him 210 comments this week, as everybody had something to say about SimCity and its decision to finally go offline, something which took six months to do.

Least Comments

Meanwhile, I got just a mere two comments for my cosplay video. Much like Julius Malema, I’m blaming those bloody agents and their counter-revolutionary agendas for this poor showing of feedback.

Batman Of The Week


VICTORY IS MINE (by 0.1%!)! Another week, another Friday where Zoe laments the fact that she’ll never ever win this award as long as either Geoff or myself is alive. I’d like to thank the Bat-academy, Alfred and Catwoman’s skintight latex outfit for helping me emerge victorious this week.

Header Image Of The Week


Dammit Geoff, you win. You freaking win, and it’s not because of my massive vanity that I declare it so. This image for the upcoming train wreck known as Rambo: The Video Game had me in stitches, a feeling that was mutual with anyone else who read it.

Comment Of The Week

Well done to the Admiral chief this week, for Erwinning comment of the week thanks to this exchange with Skoobaz:


Why is Hitman looking at Johannesburg on the flight board?

Admiral Chief in Vegas 

To take care of an EFFing problem

Last Updated: January 17, 2014

Darryn Bonthuys

Something wrong gentlemen? You come here prepared to read the words of a madman, and instead found a lunatic obsessed with comics, Batman and Raul Julia's M Bison performance in the 1994 Street Fighter movie? Fine! Keep your bio! In fact, now might be a good time to pray to it!

  • Admiral Chief in Vegas

    haha, that was NOT a joke just FYI

    • Alien Emperor Trevor

      Funny & informative, excellent work 😀

    • Hammersteyn

      That’s why it was picked XD

      • Admiral Chief in Vegas

        I can only imagine that mission!

        • Kensei Seraph

          There’d probably a parade in his honour afterwards.

          • Hammersteyn

            I’d buy him a beer or two.

          • Admiral Chief in Vegas

            Heck, I’d name my unborn son after him and give him the key to the city!

          • Hammersteyn

            You’d name your son 47?

          • Admiral Chief in Vegas

            You won’t?

          • Hammersteyn

            I’d go the Ricky Bobby route. Call the one Walker and the other Texas Ranger.

          • Admiral Chief in Vegas

            Shave his head and tattoo him, no bully would ever even try!

          • Hammersteyn

            The all play COD in school, they won’t know who he is.

          • Kensei Seraph

            “Hey what happened to the guy who fixed the EFFing problem?”
            “Alcohol poisoning.”

          • Admiral Chief in Vegas

            Sounds plausible, and you will get an achievement for that
            [JohnnyBlueDeath unlocked]

          • Hammersteyn


        • Hammersteyn

          Easiest mission too. Hang around a soccer stadium the next couple of months.

    • RinceThis2014

      Nice work. I missed that one!

      • Admiral Chief in Vegas


        • RinceThis2014

          I still fell this work of photoshop mastery was under appreciated 🙁

          • Brady miaau

            It was indeed!

    • General JJ Raven (John)

      Well done man

    • Umar digs KOS-MOS


  • Admiral Chief in Vegas

    Just FYI, we be jamming L4D2 tonight again if anyone is interested.

    I will be performing the role of team reviver and Trevor as bait

    • Alien Emperor Trevor

      My milkshake brings all the zombies to the yard :/

      • Admiral Chief in Vegas

        Lol. Zoe even said she will join us

        • Alien Emperor Trevor

          If she hurls do we get to call her Boomer?

          • Admiral Chief in Vegas

            Aye, and if she cries she be the witch!

          • General JJ Raven (John)

            And if Rince comes anywhere near the game we get to call him a jockey

      • RockMossel2014


    • Alex Hicks

      Dammit – and I really enjoyed that last time even though I had no idea what I was doing. But alas! Tonight I dine with the in-laws. 🙁 Have fun chaps.

      • Admiral Chief in Vegas

        Yeah man, it was insane, we figured out why it was so badass, we set the difficulty to advanced by accident…

    • General JJ Raven (John)

      I have beer to have with friends around a braai. Otherwise I would have been there.

  • Admiral Chief in Vegas

    Man, that Header of the Week, so damn funny!

    • Lardus-Resident Perve

      They mentioned her and cake in the same sentence…many inappropriate thoughts had!

  • Hammersteyn

    Header win!

    • Admiral Chief in Vegas

      lol yeah, realistic Top Gear 😛

  • Sir Rants A Lot Llew. Jelly!!!

    Admiral gets the comment! Gratz!

  • RockMossel2014

    hahaha omw I only now realised how Richard Hammond barely fits in his suit! Well done!

  • Kensei Seraph

    Seriously only 2 comments for that cosplay video?
    I am surprised.

  • Rock789

    EPIC header there! Full of Winning! 🙂 Loving it.

  • Ultimo_Cleric N7

    That header is AMAZING!!!! Well done.

  • Lord Chaos

    Talking about Hitman and Zoe not getting Batman while you live… I’d say that’s some thin ice…

  • Gr8_Balls_o_Fire

    LMAO Header is comic genius!!!

  • Unavengedavo

    Have you guys missed me? 😛

  • Gr8_Balls_o_Fire

    This would be a good game.

    The team shooting caravans and prius’s.

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