This trailer for RIOT looks a riot of B-action, silliness, and Dolph Lundgren

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Old action heroes never die, they just end up in prison. It happened to Stallone & Schwarzenegger in Escape Plan, and now it’s Dolph Lundgren’s turn in Riot. And here we all thought they were expendable.

Anyway here’s the synopsis of the ridiculous-sounding plot, but we’ve never watched a B-action movie for the story now have we?

Copper Jack Stone [Matthew Reese] purposefully orchestrates a bank robbery in order to be thrown into prison with the notorious Russian kingpin Balam [Chuck Liddell]. Balam is more than just a mob criminal; he’s a very cunning and dangerous lord who controls the police force from behind bars.

Balam lives in prison as a cover for his real power, which is King of the city. His cell is a lavish private room built specifically for him, inaccessible to most in the depths of the prison structure. Even the warden fears venturing into his area of the prison. However, even surrounded by his loyal henchmen and guards in his sectioned off fortress, Balam doesn’t know Jack is coming for him to avenge his family, who Balam murdered in cold blood. Balam is tough… but Jack is tougher.

Be warned though, the trailer includes copious amounts of the now-infamous Inception BWAAAAAAAAAA sound effect.

That’s right, he’s a copper! As in a British policeman and not, as some people one person may think, a badass ginger. It doesn’t say, but I’m going to assume that comes with a side of renegade and a general disdain for authority and due process. And he’s called Jack Stone. JACK. STONE. His arch-nemesis is Balam, the one-word named (like Prince, or Madonna) King of the City, who shaves his already-shaven head with a cutthroat razor because he’s just that badass.

Prison fights, prison fights with women – one of which will surely be a love interest –  everyone knows some type of martial arts, lots of shouting, stilted lines, evil guards, corrupt warden, Dolph Lundgren as a crusty old prisoner probably falsely convicted! If I can get just this much sarcastic pleasure from the short trailer, then I definitely have to watch this. How about you?

Riot will release some time in 2016, I presume direct to DVD locally, and also stars Matthew Reese and Chuck Liddell.

Last Updated: May 12, 2015

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