Home Entertainment What if the WWE and Pokémon joined forces?

What if the WWE and Pokémon joined forces?

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Right, serious journalism time. A couple of weeks ago, I fell in love with Pokken Tournament. Primarily because it included a character by the name of Pikachu Libre. Part electric rat, part top-rope high-flying frog splash, Pikachu Libre was everything I wanted in a game. Basically, the bastard child of Pokémon and the WWE. But it wasn’t enough. I wanted more.

So I got to work. I plotted, I schemed and I came up with the perfect version of the WWE. And the perfect wrestlers to go inside my new Pokémon wrasslin’ federation. All I needed, was to properly photoshop these ideas into existences. Unfortunately, i approached Geoff who promptly told me to go kill myself like CM Punk’s MMA career. And then he spat beer in my face, and hit me with the Stone Cold Stunner on the Spanish announcer’s table that we have in the office for just such occasions.

Which resulted in these abominations, which look like they were put together with the remains of the Punjabi Prison match from the 2006 Great American Bash. And we all know just how catastrophically terrible that was. Sorry lads, no excuses:

Haunter Hearst Helmsley

Haunter-Hearts-Helmsley

Ric Flareon

Ric-Flareon

John Seadra AKA JAAAAAAWN SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEADRA

John-Seadra

Ricky “The Dragonite” Steamboat

Ricky-Steamboat-Dragonite

Rayquaza Ramon

Rayquaza-Ramon

Golduckst

Golduckst

Xavier Sudowoods

Xavier-Sudowoodo

Sami Zayngoose

Sami-Zayngoose

Sin Carracosta

Sin-Carracosta

I am so, so sorry for this. Other ideas thrown around in the office as the lunch lady cleaned my face with steel chairs included:

  • Jim “The Haxorous” Duggan
  • Chris Jigglypuff
  • Vince McMachop
  • Eddie Gengaruerro
  • Riolu Mysterio
  • Zack Rhydon
  • Daniel Brhyhorn
  • Dolph Zygarde
  • Luke Gallade
  • Slowmoa Joe
  • Banette Corbin

And too many other terrible ideas, that will most likely draw the scoop-slams of WWE attorneys soon. Mah gawh King, I think the D done broke that Photoshop in half. Gawd as mah witness, broken in half! Call a damn ref!

Last Updated: May 12, 2016

16 Comments

  1. RinceThis

    May 12, 2016 at 13:04

    Well if you put them together you’d have TWO reasons to dismiss it?

    Reply

  2. Greylingad[He Charges!]

    May 12, 2016 at 13:14

    *HAFF – the correct way to say half in a Southern American accent….

    Reply

  3. Alien Emperor Trevor

    May 12, 2016 at 13:16

    #StayStrongGeoff

    Reply

    • Geoffrey Tim

      May 12, 2016 at 13:23

      It was actually (inadvertently) my fault. Darryn’s at risk of losing his Batman streak this week – so I jokingly said that he’ll write about more WWE or Pokemon, or worse, both – and a lightbulb went on in his weird, weird brain.

      Reply

      • Raptor Rants

        May 12, 2016 at 13:24

        What have you done!?

        Reply

      • Admiral Chief in New York

        May 12, 2016 at 15:05

        Why, just, why?

        Reply

    • RinceThis

      May 12, 2016 at 13:23

      That’s what she said?

      Reply

      • Alien Emperor Trevor

        May 12, 2016 at 13:28

        Reply

    • Pariah

      May 12, 2016 at 13:33

      I can picture this daily. #StayStrongGeoff

      Reply

  4. Raptor Rants

    May 12, 2016 at 13:23

    Just…. Just no

    Reply

    • Alien Emperor Trevor

      May 12, 2016 at 14:01

      I believe D’s next project is a Pokemon/Star Wars mash-up.

      Reply

  5. DrKiller

    May 13, 2016 at 11:05

    Justin Bieber should be Jigglypuff

    Reply

  6. Red Aloia

    May 13, 2016 at 22:01

    lol

    Reply

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