Zoe Saldana joins Marvel's GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY as Gamora! Also, I rant a bit…

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It seems like Star Trek and Avatar star Zoe Saldana has a thing for body paint and medieval weaponry, as she’ll be trading the blue skin and bow and arrows for some jade complexion and a really big sword as one of the titular Guardians of the Galaxy in director James Gunn’s upcoming cosmic superhero epic.

According the THR, Saldana is currently in negotiations to star opposite already cast Chris Pratt (as team leader Peter Quill aka Star-Lord) and Dave Bautista (as Drax the Destroyer) as the green skinned warrior assassin Gamora. Gamora’s entire humanoid race was wiped out by another set of ET’s known as the Badoon before she was found and adopted by Death worshipping demigod Thanos (Yes, that Thanos) and trained to become one badass killer, eventually earning herself the nickname of “The Most Dangerous Woman In The Universe” (hyperbole much?). She would of course go on to reject Thanos’ evil universe destroying ways and become a hero herself, much to his annoyance.

Okay, now that I’ve got the informational part of this story out of the way, it’s time to get my rant on.

While Ms Saldana is certainly a capable actress, and nobody is ever going to accuse her of not being easy on the eyes, there’s just one problem. Gamora is a powerhouse of a woman, who very much looks the part of a badass fighter. Zoe Saldana looks like she couldn’t beat an egg in a fight. She’s already tried her hand at this action lady stuff in Colombiana and despite the very visible physical enthusiasm she brought to that role, it still looked kind of ridiculous when this waif of a girl, who can’t weigh more than a half empty packet of cheese curls, was delivering singular knockout punches to the jaws of men who look like the illegitimate offspring of Lou Ferrigno and a Sherman tank.

Now this is not an exclusive Zoe Saldana problem. It happens often in Hollywood, with the most prominent other example being Angelina Jolie in Salt, where her fight scenes ended up looking like a coat rack wrestling some buffalo.

When I thought of who could play Gamora, obviously MMA star turned actress Gina Carano immediately sprang to mind. As far as appearances goes, you simply couldn’t find a better match of beauty and brawn. Now it’s true that while Carano has a black belt in ass kicking, she’s still a white belt in acting, so Marvel may have wanted somebody with a bit more thespian chops. But then what about more statuesque, physically imposing actresses like Adrianne Palicki, Zoe Bell or Moon Bloodgood?

I know this is nothing but a slightly ridiculous movie based on some funny books, but at least try to make an effort. Now if Ms Saldana were to to suddenly hit the buffet cart and the gym and put on some extra muscle mass, then I would be all for this casting. But somehow I have a feeling that that’s simply not going to happen.

Last Updated: April 4, 2013

Kervyn Cloete

A man of many passions - but very little sleep - I've been geeking out over movies, video games, comics, books, anime, TV series and lemon meringues as far back as I can remember. So show up for the geeky insight, stay for the delicious pastries.

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