Ever since I told you about Layers of Fear officially launching this month, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the horror game. How can I ensure that I never have to play it? Can I outrun Geoff when he tries to hand me a review copy? Should I feign sickness, or even death?
All these thoughts and more have been circulating my brain for weeks, because honestly, Layers of Fear looks goddam terrifying. I don’t ever want to touch it. Never, ever, EVER.
I’m running out of time to think up an escape plan however, because the release date of the game looms closer and closer. Just looking at my calendar now nearly gave me a heart attack – the horror will be out on February 16, which is in just 5 days time… SH*T SH*T SH*T!
You know, maybe I’m just being silly. It can’t be that bad, can it? I don’t know hey… this brand new gameplay trailer doesn’t exactly come packed with roses and butterflies or anything (via PC Gamer):
Delve deep into the mind of an insane painter and discover the secret of his madness, as you explore a vast and constantly changing Victorian-era mansion. Uncover the visions, fears and horrors that entwine the painter and finish the masterpiece he has strived so long to create.
“Wow! Let’s all rush out and play that!” – said no rational, sane person ever. No seriously, Layers of Fear is covered in NOPE material, so I won’t be playing it, thank you very much.
And now I’m back to wondering how I’m going to escape the inevitable review copy landing on my desk. Shall I leave the country? Grow a beard and pretend to be a hipster? The potential solutions are vast, but I don’t know which will be most effective at getting Geoff off my case!
Last Updated: February 11, 2016
Umar
February 11, 2016 at 12:31
Sweet, can’t wait to watch the livestream 😛
Pariah
February 11, 2016 at 12:33
Ok THIS has to happen. A lot. MATTY!
Umar
February 11, 2016 at 12:34
I’m sure he’s gonna be livestreaming this game..in the dark as well.
Pariah
February 11, 2016 at 12:35
I seriously might have to watch that. Pure gold, right there.
hairyknees
February 11, 2016 at 13:18
NO. NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Commander Admiral Chief
February 11, 2016 at 12:32
Geoff, please cancel Matty’s NopeTrain tickets to NopeVille
POItjie
February 11, 2016 at 12:32
I am so amped for this game. I just have to play this. How scary can it be…..?
Commander Admiral Chief
February 11, 2016 at 12:32
This is an important question, we’ll get Matty right on that
Pariah
February 11, 2016 at 12:32
Matty, just include some 0’s in your email address or Steam account. You’ll be fine.
Hammersteyn
February 11, 2016 at 12:33
SOLD!
Pariah
February 11, 2016 at 12:33
Geoff, about that review copy for Matty.
Hammersteyn
February 11, 2016 at 12:36
Whatever happened to give the people what the want?
Pariah
February 11, 2016 at 12:37
We want him to give Matty the review copy. I just gave him a bit of extra motivational power to do so… Was that wrong?
Greylingad[CNFRMD]
February 11, 2016 at 12:43
Every time he squats, I expect something bad to happen…
Pariah
February 11, 2016 at 12:43
Its like watching Matty play this game right? Something might in fact happen. But its hilarious at the same time.
Greylingad[CNFRMD]
February 11, 2016 at 12:44
Exactly!! HAHAHA!! Are we evil? I’m not sure anymore…
Pariah
February 11, 2016 at 12:45
We’re evil. CONFIRMED!
Greylingad[CNFRMD]
February 11, 2016 at 12:47
HAHAHA!!!
Hammersteyn
February 11, 2016 at 12:51
https://media.giphy.com/media/134YxqHlovgpH2/giphy.gif
Jac7
February 11, 2016 at 12:35
Let the pooping commence!
Umar
February 11, 2016 at 12:36
That’s what she said…..I think I’m doing this wrong.
Pariah
February 11, 2016 at 12:37
Actually, considering you other “tastes” – this doesn’t surprise me much.
Umar
February 11, 2016 at 12:40
Chocolate ice-cream ain’t ma thang, dawg.
Pariah
February 11, 2016 at 12:41
Not even with sprinkles? O_o
😉
Umar
February 11, 2016 at 12:41
Not even with corn, bro.
Alien Emperor Trevor
February 11, 2016 at 12:41
What about golden sh..syrup?
Umar
February 11, 2016 at 12:45
They’re particularly nice on ‘waffles’………………
……….
………..
………..
No idea what waffle is an innuendo for lol
Alien Emperor Trevor
February 11, 2016 at 12:47
haha I briefly considered googling to find out, but thought better of it.
Umar
February 11, 2016 at 12:52
I’m 100% sure there’s a waffle innuendo on the net somewhere lol
Alien Emperor Trevor
February 11, 2016 at 12:58
Hey baby, how about we make some dessert with my sizzling waffle iron… if you know what I’m talking about.
(If you do, tell me – because I don’t know what I’m talking about.)
Pariah
February 11, 2016 at 12:48
They’re pretty specific when they’re blue though.
RinceThis
February 11, 2016 at 13:11
wow 0O
Pariah
February 11, 2016 at 12:42
I just tried to imagine Ice Cream with corn in it. I’m not sure which is worse, that or a poop fetish.
Umar
February 11, 2016 at 12:45
I’m pretty sure poop fetish is still worse lol
Pariah
February 11, 2016 at 12:46
Oh? You’re sure? Do tell.
Umar
February 11, 2016 at 12:47
You see…well..what you need is, 2 girls..and 1 cup
Jac7
February 11, 2016 at 12:38
Let the ridicule commence!
Hammersteyn
February 11, 2016 at 12:36
One two this games coming for you
three four we voted many times more
five six Matty’s gonna shit bricks
seven eight will watch the stream till late
nine ten voting he has to do it again.
Pariah
February 11, 2016 at 12:36
Is there a NG+ feature? If not in the game, we’ll make a Lagz specific one. 😀
Hammersteyn
February 11, 2016 at 12:37
There’s other games he’s ignored. He’s like a dictator, he ignores the votes
Pariah
February 11, 2016 at 12:39
Maybe they got lost in the fro?
Alien Emperor Trevor
February 11, 2016 at 12:37
You can run away from Geoff all you like Matty, he’ll be waiting for you no matter where you go.
Greylingad[CNFRMD]
February 11, 2016 at 12:45
NORRAFORKINGWAYINHELLIMTOUCHINGTHATWITHATENFOOTPOLE! Net nee…
RinceThis
February 11, 2016 at 13:11
It’s like an anthem for Matty…
hairyknees
February 11, 2016 at 13:19
http://www.nooooooooooooooo.com/
hairyknees
February 11, 2016 at 13:19
https://media.giphy.com/media/12XMGIWtrHBl5e/giphy.gif
Commander Admiral Chief
February 11, 2016 at 13:22
YESSSSSSS
hairyknees
February 11, 2016 at 13:20
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view4/1093232/finn-nooooooooooo-o.gif
DragonSpirit009
February 11, 2016 at 13:33
I’ll never play this game, so of to the land of NOPE for me… but my flatmate would. Which will in the end mean I’ll be sitting in the corner of my room trying to avoid all the sound effects coming from the game!
HvR
February 11, 2016 at 15:40
My guess is that the candles must be lit to keep the darkness away.
Now that would be awesome Sony dildo + Eyetoy/Kinect game.
Try to light 3 candles with your shaking hand while you hear your 2 tooth aunt from PE is smelling you out.