Home Gaming Alien: Isolation will tense up your sphincter

Alien: Isolation will tense up your sphincter

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Starfish

The last Alien game, Colonial Marines was load of bollocks, leaving Creative Assembly with the unenviable task of trying to convince people that their take on the franchise will be good. They’re doing a rather good job of that.

Alien: Isolation looks tense, creepy and yet somehow, beautiful. Here’s the official E3 gameplay trailer, showing some official gameplay, from E3!

Run! Hide! Survive! Kak Yourself!

The game’s also recently received Oculus Rift support, which gets a big fat crybaby NOPENOPENOPE from me. Oculus is demoing the game as a prototype at E3, and I hope that Darryn gets some hands and eyes on time with it, because I want him to never sleep again. As a fully immersive, Virtual Reality experience, Alien: Isolation could just be the thing to sell me on the Rift. Before making me rip it off my head and run away screaming.

 

Discover the true meaning of fear in Alien: Isolation, a survival horror set in an atmosphere of constant dread and mortal danger. Fifteen years after the events of Alien™, Ellen Ripley’s daughter, Amanda enters a desperate battle for survival, on a mission to unravel the truth behind her mother’s disappearance.

As Amanda, you will navigate through an increasingly volatile world as you find yourself confronted on all sides by a panicked, desperate population and an unpredictable, ruthless Alien.
Underpowered and underprepared, you must scavenge resources, improvise solutions and use your wits, not just to succeed in your mission, but to simply stay alive.

Last Updated: June 11, 2014

57 Comments

  1. Spathi

    June 11, 2014 at 15:07

    Gefrey yyo ftckng ashle! I ecxpet a nw krybowd aftr I spewed mone wth copfee thaks to te heder…

    Reply

    • Alien Emperor Trevor

      June 11, 2014 at 15:10

      He trolled us but good. From the header I thought the article was going to be about a JRPG.

      Reply

    • Sith JJ

      June 11, 2014 at 15:27

      I think you just have your keyboard turned upside down dude.

      Reply

  2. Alien Emperor Trevor

    June 11, 2014 at 15:09

    I’m not afraid.

    Reply

  3. Hammersteyn

    June 11, 2014 at 15:12

    hehe starfish

    Reply

  4. Kensei Seraph

    June 11, 2014 at 15:15

    I kinda want to play this with the Occulas.
    Although I probably won’t be able to sleep for a few weeks afterwards, it seems like it would be worth it.
    (Refresh for pic)

    Reply

    • Sir Rants A Lot Llew. Jelly!!!

      June 11, 2014 at 15:33

      yoh

      Reply

  5. Sith JJ

    June 11, 2014 at 15:15

    Yes, but which sphincter?

    Reply

    • Kensei Seraph

      June 11, 2014 at 15:19

      The heart sphincter.

      “In the latest news, the Occulus version of Alien: Isolation has been recalled as several hundred people have dropped dead from heart attacks in the last hour.
      Despite this it seems that the torrents for this version have quickly become the most seeded in the entire world.”

      Reply

      • Alien Emperor Trevor

        June 11, 2014 at 15:20

        So less pirates too? Win!

        Reply

        • Kensei Seraph

          June 11, 2014 at 16:15

          Yeah, the master race will become extinct afterwards.

          Reply

          • Sith JJ

            June 11, 2014 at 16:19

            Evolve and extinct are different things. 😉

          • Kensei Seraph

            June 11, 2014 at 16:25

            It’s the peasants who’re evolving right now.
            It’s only a matter of time until their console become true PCs.

          • Unavengedavo

            June 11, 2014 at 16:26

            So consoles are trying to be PC?

          • Kensei Seraph

            June 11, 2014 at 16:30

            Yes. Is this news to you?

    • Admiral Chief Cyber Commando

      June 11, 2014 at 15:20

      All of them

      Reply

    • Hammersteyn

      June 11, 2014 at 15:20

      Die poephol

      Reply

    • Exalted Overlord Geoffrey Tim

      June 11, 2014 at 15:21

      The one implied by the image header, mostly.

      Reply

      • Admiral Chief Cyber Commando

        June 11, 2014 at 15:21

        Don’t all sphincters looks like that?

        (not a sphincter specialist, but I imagine they work the same way

        Reply

        • Sith JJ

          June 11, 2014 at 15:24

          Some are small, some are big.
          Pretty much like douche-bags

          Reply

          • Admiral Chief Cyber Commando

            June 11, 2014 at 15:29

            Heh

      • Sith JJ

        June 11, 2014 at 15:23

        So it’s not pupillary.
        That’s disappointing. 😛

        Reply

  6. Hammersteyn

    June 11, 2014 at 15:16

    THIS,”I guess it all started because no one wanted to make the game we wanted to play”

    Reply

  7. Admiral Chief Cyber Commando

    June 11, 2014 at 15:19

    I suggest that whomever does the review, MUST post a ‘Let’s Play’ type video picture in picture. With Oculus, and headphones

    Reply

    • Kensei Seraph

      June 11, 2014 at 15:20

      Yes, yes, a thousand times yes.

      And now home time. 😀

      Reply

      • Sith JJ

        June 11, 2014 at 15:25

        Lucky moer

        Reply

      • Hammersteyn

        June 11, 2014 at 15:30

        Hope traffic is heavy 😛

        Reply

        • Sir Rants A Lot Llew. Jelly!!!

          June 11, 2014 at 15:34

          That’s cruel 0_0

          Reply

          • Sith JJ

            June 11, 2014 at 15:36

            He asked for it, putting that on here while we’re all still ‘slaving’ away.

          • Sir Rants A Lot Llew. Jelly!!!

            June 11, 2014 at 15:38

            I’m leaving in like 15…..

          • Sith JJ

            June 11, 2014 at 15:40

            I hate you all!!

          • Sir Rants A Lot Llew. Jelly!!!

            June 11, 2014 at 15:42

          • Sith JJ

            June 11, 2014 at 15:44

            LOL

          • Hammersteyn

            June 11, 2014 at 15:49

            Where do you live, I swear I won’t call in falls traffic reports

          • Sir Rants A Lot Llew. Jelly!!!

            June 11, 2014 at 17:58

            Yeah… I was home by 4:20… I also left 15minutes early……

          • Hammersteyn

            June 12, 2014 at 07:38

          • Sir Rants A Lot Llew. Jelly!!!

            June 12, 2014 at 12:29

            hahahahaha. That Gif makes me far too happy

          • Hammersteyn

            June 11, 2014 at 15:48

            MOAR TRAFFIC!

          • Sith JJ

            June 11, 2014 at 15:49

            Pile it on people!!

        • Kensei Seraph

          June 11, 2014 at 16:13

          It wasn’t. 😛

          Reply

          • Hammersteyn

            June 11, 2014 at 16:15

            Hahahahaha congrats buddy. Enjoy the early time off

          • Kensei Seraph

            June 11, 2014 at 16:32

            It’s my normal time. 😛
            I leave early for my part-time lectures but it’s holidays now.
            I do get in a early to make up the time though.

    • Admiral Chief Cyber Commando

      June 11, 2014 at 15:21

      DO IT!

      Reply

    • Hammersteyn

      June 11, 2014 at 15:21

      Nominating Zoe or Darryn or whoever’s the biggest girl

      Reply

      • Admiral Chief Cyber Commando

        June 11, 2014 at 15:22

        Darryn of course

        Reply

    • The Fires of Suzaku Burns!!

      June 11, 2014 at 15:24

      Darryn doesn’t have many more pants to spare

      Reply

      • Sith JJ

        June 11, 2014 at 15:26

        What about his bat-pants?

        Reply

        • The Fires of Suzaku Burns!!

          June 11, 2014 at 15:28

          Soiled after seeing the batmobile

          Reply

          • Admiral Chief Cyber Commando

            June 11, 2014 at 15:29

            Janee those are a write off

          • Sith JJ

            June 11, 2014 at 15:31

            I bet he had the same expression on his face at the new Batman on that release photo.

    • Sith JJ

      June 11, 2014 at 15:26

      But night vision cams so we can see how they lose it.

      Reply

      • Admiral Chief Cyber Commando

        June 11, 2014 at 15:28

        Agreed, headphones, oculus, no lights, nightcam, and Geoff sneaking up behind him with a air-horn

        Reply

        • Sith JJ

          June 11, 2014 at 15:32

          Oh. So that’s not his voice that sounds like that? 😉

          Reply

  8. Sir Rants A Lot Llew. Jelly!!!

    June 11, 2014 at 15:33

    Nope nope nope nope nope. Not in VR. Nope nope nope nope

    Reply

  9. Unavengedavo

    June 11, 2014 at 16:27

    I would love to play this with the rift and a pack of adult daipers handy

    Reply

  10. Mythryl

    June 12, 2014 at 04:56

    Couldn’t you find a picture of a chocolate starfish?

    Reply

  11. WhiteRock

    June 12, 2014 at 09:50

    Wondering in a game like this, if you were actually able to kill the Alien somehow, how boring would the rest of the game be…?

    Reply

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