At E3 2015, I was a dance machine

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The D Dances

If anybody tells you that E3 is an easy gig, they’re either a bunch of liars or they write for the print side of the industry. But amidst the rushing to appointments and getting trampled by Skylander scalpers, there is the odd moment or two to unwind. Or in my case, dance!

My E3 was pretty much all wrapped up, late on day three. And as I was walking towards the exit, I remembered that I made a solemn vow to you lot. A promise, to dance. To flaunt my stuff and show off my swagger. And there was only one game on the entire showroom floor of the Los Angeles Convention Center that could handle my moves.

I was of course, talking about Persona 4: Dancing All Night. And I danced. I danced so hard that I couldn’t run away. BEHOLD! THE D KEEPS HIS PROMISES!

I know what some of you are thinking. And no, I’m sorry. Such radical dance floor moves can never be taught. These are the secret pelvic thrusts and finger-guns of a long-forgotten art, which must only be utilised during mankind’s darkest hour, which coincidentally is around the same time as E3.

I made a solemn vow on the grave of my hip-hop dance instructor (Go ninja. Go ninja, go!) to never abuse these powers, after an errant Texas two-step of mine caused the Chernobyl disaster of 1986 and unleashed the hordes of Future-Hawkings, sentient clones of the great scientist who were corrupted by the pure evil of their Windows Millenium Edition operating systems.

Also, that Persona game looks like fun. I actually want to play it when it releases later this year. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to…dance.

Last Updated: June 22, 2015

Darryn Bonthuys

Something wrong gentlemen? You come here prepared to read the words of a madman, and instead found a lunatic obsessed with comics, Batman and Raul Julia's M Bison performance in the 1994 Street Fighter movie? Fine! Keep your bio! In fact, now might be a good time to pray to it!

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