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Casting Call: Army of Two

3 min read


Welcome back to Casting Call folks!

This week on Casting Call, we take a look at a movie adaptation of EA’s Army of Two. While the game was met with mediocre reviews, the movie adaption is sure to be destroyed by Critics the world over.

The game’s story follows the Bro-mantic adventures of two Guns-for-Hire that get screwed over by their own company and are forced to go after the very people that they used to trust, destroying everything and anyone who gets in their way in a big fiery blaze( Are you reading this Michael Bay?). With contemporary issues and a riveting storyline (*cough*) the movie is set to be an action packed rollercoaster of exploding barrels and high fives.

All the nitty-gritty as well as the full images after the jump.


Right, lets start with the two fellows above.

Sam Elliot: Jared Padalecki (left)

Taking on the role of Elliot Salem in this week’s Casting Call is Jared Padalecki. If you are a fan of the TV series Supernatural, you will recognise him right off the bat. He has the Salem look going for him, not only does he have the boyish good looks of Salem, but he also does a very good job of sporting the “Dssh” ( see Emo Haircut that droops down over one eye).

Tyson Rios: Glen Jacobs aka Kane (right)

Ok calm down. Yes, I have cast a WWE wrestler as one of the lead characters. Glen Jacobs, also known as Kane from the WWE actually took on a lead role in the WWE produced film “See no Evil”. Was it successful you might ask? Well the 7% average rating from Rottentomatoes.com doesn’t think so. Either way, he is big and brutish enough to look the part, and I’m sure he can summon up the ability to pull off a mean high five.

Onto the rest of the cast.

Alice Murray: Rachel Bilson


Alice Murray is the hot tattooed lady-friend of the dynamic duo of destruction that gives them instructions through their earpieces. Her role will be played by Rachel Bilson, known for her roles in the O.C, Chuck and just recently, Jumper. She hot, she’s tough and she definately has the look going for her. Hooray for Rachel.

Lieutenant Colonel Richard Dalton: Keith Carradine


An experienced actor, recently seen in shows such as Deadwood and Dexter, he really pulls off the “suit” look well. He has the ability to be a real nice guy as much as he has the ability to play a really devious rat-bastard. Right then, just what we needed.

Phillip Clyde aka Smiley aka F**ko


Okay, we needed someone who is fairly built, in his early thirties and has the ability to be a real douche bag. Shove Dane Cook into a gym for a month, a barber for an hour and we have ourselves a winner. Originally a stand-up comic, Dane Cook has had a few silver screen parts and I am pretty sure he will take any role that come his way.

The End!

Well, that’s it for this weeks casting call, comments and ideas for future features will be appreciated as always. For those of you who read the comments last week , you will know that Metal Gear Solid’s name came up. I’m looking into but I realised that I’m a complete noob when it comes to the MGS story and characters (not to mention it’s tough to find character shots on the web of anyone other than Snake). So as soon as I find someone to assist me, I will get right on it.

Last Weeks Casting Call: Gears of War

Last Updated: April 23, 2008


  1. Sam Elliot -> Chuck Norris
    Tyson Rios -> Stephen Seagull
    Smiley -> Dolf Lundgren
    Alice Murray -> Pamela Anderson
    Lieutenant Colonel Richard Dalton -> Naas Botha (thats right)

    This movie will be… AWESOME!!!!


  2. Abe

    April 23, 2008 at 09:12

    I quite enjoy this feature lazy, now im just waiting for a game ive actually played!


  3. LazySAGamer

    April 23, 2008 at 09:19

    I don’t post this feature, it is done by Nick…

    If you would like a certain game to be given the treatment then by all means post some games and come back next week to see which one, if any, were chosen


  4. doobiwan

    April 23, 2008 at 09:38

    Nice one dude.

    The movie looks better than the game :p


  5. koldFU5iON

    April 23, 2008 at 10:16

    Sam Elliot – Ryan Renolds
    Tyson Rios (isn’t he black?) – ??


  6. Nick

    April 23, 2008 at 11:41

    Hey Abe, if you have any suggestions for a casting call, let me know. If im a complete noob when it comes to your suggested game, you must let me know if your willing to give me a few pointers.


  7. Stevoreeno

    October 2, 2008 at 23:32

    Elliot Salem-Garrett Hedlund
    Tyson Rios-Tyler Mane
    Philip Clyde-Johnny Messner
    Alice Murray-Maggie Q
    Richard Dalton-Billy Bob Thorton

    I believe by looks, this cast would almost be dead on and considering that Hedlund and Mane would be perfect together and also that I could almost completely see Johnny Messner as Clyde, it would be amazing.


  8. Simone

    June 22, 2009 at 08:15

    Elliot Salem-Taylor Kitsch :wub:
    Tyson Rios- Vin Diesel or Dominic Purcell
    Alice Murray- Moon Bloodgood
    Phillip Clyde- Karl Urban
    Richard Dalton- Michael Ironside


  9. Andy

    September 18, 2009 at 12:15


    I`m Andy 21 years old Zimbabwean actor/model recently ventured into South African film industry this year in April looking for casting calls held in April as the season has come.
    Since I ventured into the industry for the time being on set I a featured as an extra,actor for three international movies and one commercial.
    I was also part of the crew for a film production as a runner and would like pursue a career even as a funner whilst waiting for casting calls.
    Furthermore I reside in Athlone Cape Town.

    You can contact me @ 073 067 4175



  10. gamekid

    September 20, 2009 at 00:50

    I hope Johnny Messner is not in any game anytime soon, he is a total asshead!!!!


  11. wwefan

    October 6, 2009 at 21:37

    Johnny Messner is a total fake jerk, thank god Selma Blair left this clown behind. Some posts say he is in the next Resident Evil? Well I guess all good things come to an end, and if messner is involved it will surely mean the end of the franchise, he is a total back stabber, ask Vin Diesel!


  12. titmouser

    October 15, 2009 at 02:55

    Johnny is to old to be playing this role, the dude is in his forties!


  13. Doctor17

    January 26, 2010 at 20:37

    Heres who i think should play the cast :

    Elliot Salem- Dane cook ; If Dane grows out his hair he’d be pefect, First of all elliot is a small but fairly built guy , we have seen Dane muscular but still small (My Best Friends Girl) Also , Elliot has been fairly comedic in the game if anyone has actually played the game you’d know that. Dane could bring the energetic young comedical bachelor type character to elliot. And he could give a mean high five !

    Rios- It’d have to be Vin Diesel, call me crazy .. but yess , we alll know thats what everyone is thinking , but lets be realistic , no person is better for rios than Vin Diesel he would just fit the charecter .. enough said. Glen Jacobs yes , does look the part , but he is way too serious , i don’t think he would do well in this movie.

    Clyde- Jason Statham, this guy will bring the voice , the douche bagery , the look and everything that clyde has . He is the perfect actor for this role, trust me guys , everyone knows it. And jason would sound perfect saying “Fucko”

    Dalton- keith Carradine i agree completely with , loooks dead on perfect ! and he would play the part well.

    Alice Murray- Now I’m torn between , Halle Berry OR alecia moore aka pink .. pink would deff look the part and play the part well as long as she died her hair black


  14. James

    March 2, 2010 at 08:26

    I like Doctor17’s the best. Fucking awesome man. Statham would be perfect for Clyde.


  15. Studgunner11

    June 10, 2010 at 07:46

    I’m excited for this movie, I don’t see why other people on the internet aren’t. I thought the first Army of Two had great small movie clips As well as great characters and character develpment.

    Clyde – love the idea of statham playing this part. Even tough there probably won’t be a clyde in the movie, it will probably be seperate from the games except Elliot, Rios and Murray

    Elliot – I like the idea of Ryan reynolds playing the part. Just need to make him look more like elliot. But as far as smart ass comments and and being funny I think him and elliot are similar. Plus given his stardom he’d probably bring more viewers to see the movie.

    Rios – This one is a little tough. There needs to be someone that looks the part for this one, and I think that’s what’s going to be hard. Maybe Randy Couture if he can get his acting down and get close to the voice.

    Murray – Needs to be someone with a hot voice who can pull of the emo look. And not an asian girl like the actors suggested above. Maybe Rhona Mitra just because she is so hot. Murray and elliot defenitely need to fuck too, that’d top it off and maybe make more gamers like the movie lol


  16. Apocalypse ZA

    June 10, 2010 at 10:01

    All good and all, but this wont hold a finger to THE EXPENDABLES.


  17. Rockssanne

    July 9, 2010 at 05:08

    Elliot Salem : Ryan Reynolds
    Tyson Rios : Vin Diesel

    Thoses two characters ARE THE BEST FOR THIS MOVIE

    Should be those actors !!!!!!!! :heart: :heart:


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