Casting Call: Army of Two

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Welcome back to Casting Call folks!

This week on Casting Call, we take a look at a movie adaptation of EA’s Army of Two. While the game was met with mediocre reviews, the movie adaption is sure to be destroyed by Critics the world over.

The game’s story follows the Bro-mantic adventures of two Guns-for-Hire that get screwed over by their own company and are forced to go after the very people that they used to trust, destroying everything and anyone who gets in their way in a big fiery blaze( Are you reading this Michael Bay?). With contemporary issues and a riveting storyline (*cough*) the movie is set to be an action packed rollercoaster of exploding barrels and high fives.

All the nitty-gritty as well as the full images after the jump.

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Right, lets start with the two fellows above.

Sam Elliot: Jared Padalecki (left)

Taking on the role of Elliot Salem in this week’s Casting Call is Jared Padalecki. If you are a fan of the TV series Supernatural, you will recognise him right off the bat. He has the Salem look going for him, not only does he have the boyish good looks of Salem, but he also does a very good job of sporting the “Dssh” ( see Emo Haircut that droops down over one eye).

Tyson Rios: Glen Jacobs aka Kane (right)

Ok calm down. Yes, I have cast a WWE wrestler as one of the lead characters. Glen Jacobs, also known as Kane from the WWE actually took on a lead role in the WWE produced film “See no Evil”. Was it successful you might ask? Well the 7% average rating from Rottentomatoes.com doesn’t think so. Either way, he is big and brutish enough to look the part, and I’m sure he can summon up the ability to pull off a mean high five.

Onto the rest of the cast.

Alice Murray: Rachel Bilson

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Alice Murray is the hot tattooed lady-friend of the dynamic duo of destruction that gives them instructions through their earpieces. Her role will be played by Rachel Bilson, known for her roles in the O.C, Chuck and just recently, Jumper. She hot, she’s tough and she definately has the look going for her. Hooray for Rachel.

Lieutenant Colonel Richard Dalton: Keith Carradine

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An experienced actor, recently seen in shows such as Deadwood and Dexter, he really pulls off the “suit” look well. He has the ability to be a real nice guy as much as he has the ability to play a really devious rat-bastard. Right then, just what we needed.

Phillip Clyde aka Smiley aka F**ko


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Okay, we needed someone who is fairly built, in his early thirties and has the ability to be a real douche bag. Shove Dane Cook into a gym for a month, a barber for an hour and we have ourselves a winner. Originally a stand-up comic, Dane Cook has had a few silver screen parts and I am pretty sure he will take any role that come his way.

The End!

Well, that’s it for this weeks casting call, comments and ideas for future features will be appreciated as always. For those of you who read the comments last week , you will know that Metal Gear Solid’s name came up. I’m looking into but I realised that I’m a complete noob when it comes to the MGS story and characters (not to mention it’s tough to find character shots on the web of anyone other than Snake). So as soon as I find someone to assist me, I will get right on it.

Last Weeks Casting Call: Gears of War

Last Updated: April 23, 2008

Nick De Bruyne

Video games writer, editor and critic since '08. Living and breathing video games, movies and cars since the 80s. Follow me on Twitter if you love tons of gaming talk, and @pennyworthrevs for fun stuff and links.

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