Counteract load shedding through masturbation with the Wank Band

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We all need to do our part for the environment. It’s hard for countries to keep the lights on, and everyone is jumping onto sustainable energy solutions. From wind and sun to water and geothermics, there are a ton of options for helping to lessen your strain on the grid. Porn Hub wants to help, and their solution is simply genius.

We’ve told you before about bizarre wearables. They’re all the rage at the moment, but tend to be primarily focused on fitness. Even that hilarious SexFit was basically a sexual fitness wearable for your penis. But this latest wearable tech is far more sophisticated and offers an added benefit to an activity that is already ubiquitous.

Meet the Wank Band. Brought to you by Porn Hub, it officially has the best tagline ever: The power is in your hand. The idea is simple – love the planet while you love yourself. The design is simple – thanks to a kinetic charger, the Wank Band creates power when moved up and down. You can then use that energy to charge your devices via USB. There is even this awesome SFW video that explains it all.

You can sign up to be a “Be(a)ta tester” over here if you’re so inclined. I think this is fantastic technology. It’s unisex, although I’m sure the range of motion required for men vs women will impact on how efficiently it generates energy. Either way, it’s wonderful to think that we can counteract load shedding by, um, shedding loads?

Have they finally created the wearable tech that will make our lives better? Could this be the future we needed? Of course it could make extended periods of power outages a bit more awkward as people disappear to charge their devices, but it really is and excellent way to harness people’s existing activities. Welcome to the future, where masturbation is productive and good for the environment.

Last Updated: January 4, 2017

Zoe Hawkins

Wielding my lasso of truth, I am the combination of nerd passion and grammar nazi. I delve into all things awesome and geek-tastic. You can read more of my words over at www.borngeek.co.za, or just follow me on all the social networks to get the true range of my sarcasm and wit.

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