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As semi-respected writers, it’s expected of us to be impartial and unbiased reporters of the truth. Testicles to that. I saw the frigging Batmobile today. How my pants are still in one piece, is beyond me because there was most definitely some sort of explosion in my underwear region when I came upon the Caped Crusader Chevrolet.

I don’t think words can accurately describe what I saw today, but screw it, I’m brain damaged enough to try. The scale replica of the Batmobile was massive. Bigger than your mom even. Hell, the gigantic wheels alone could help solve our local housing crisis if people built houses inside of them, while the rims were so bling that they cause instant heart attacks in people who believe in go-faster stripes.

My plan for tomorrow is simple however. I’m going to don a Bat cowl that I packed in and go yell at Rocksteady and Warner Bros to give me back my damn car already. And yes, it did come in black. Just like the car.

Last Updated: June 11, 2014

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Darryn Bonthuys

Something wrong gentlemen? You come here prepared to read the words of a madman, and instead found a lunatic obsessed with comics, Batman and Raul Julia's M Bison performance in the 1994 Street Fighter movie? Fine! Keep your bio! In fact, now might be a good time to pray to it!

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