Your mother's ass you bugger

I’ve played a lot of games. I was there when Crackdown made me hunt for orbs. I played as the last Dante in Devil May Cry 4. I drove with titans in Project Gotham Racing 4. I unlocked the secrets of Fist of the North Star, knowledge that must never be revealed. But try as I might, I can’t not suck at a game of FIFA. because SPERTS!

 Here’s videographic proof of just how bad I am at FIFA 14. Right now, I can’t even tell which team I’m on, because I’m too busy shouting SHORYUKEN every time I try to tackle someone. And what is this offsides nonsense? And why is my goalie on the other side of the screen after half time?


Last Updated: September 12, 2013

was reviewed on PC

Darryn Bonthuys

Something wrong gentlemen? You come here prepared to read the words of a madman, and instead found a lunatic obsessed with comics, Batman and Raul Julia's M Bison performance in the 1994 Street Fighter movie? Fine! Keep your bio! In fact, now might be a good time to pray to it!

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