Here’s a weird little story about me: If you’ve ever spoken to me in real life, you might have noticed that I have a…weird way of pronouncing or enunciating certain words. There’s a good reason for that, as back when I was a kid I managed to actually bite my own tongue off in a schoolyard accident. I was fortunate enough to get have the linguistics muscle reattached but some damage was definitely done and resulted in my unique way talking.
Most of the time I’m aware of this and can speak in a more natural manner, but there are times when my focus slips and I tend to sound like I’ve been on a yearlong tour of Oktoberfest. The point of all this? The fact that upcoming game Speaking Simulator hits a little close to home for me. It’s a game with a bonkers premise: You’re an android, sent to infiltrate the planet, hampered only by your inability to have any idea how to blend in as a human meatbag. Again, this all hits close to home for me.
Here’s the trailer and official game description:
Humanity may fear the rise of the machines, but they’ll never expect this. Infiltrate society as a human…ish android by learning how to speak fluently enough to avoid suspicion. Wrestle with tricky controls to flap its synthetic lips, tongue, and maybe even wiggle those eyebrows to rise through the ranks of humanity and become the president of the world.
You’ll need to use all of your wits and thumb power to succeed in Speaking Simulator, which tasks you with mastering the nuances of human speech. Or risk having your mechanical face explode in a shower of sparks and silicone:
Start off simple with first dates and job interviews, but as the android further ingrains itself into society, survive public speaking nightmares like wedding toasts and eulogies. Take too long between words or misplace the tongue and the robot will get nervous, causing its face to explode. Humans tend to find this suspicious. It’s hard to blend in when an android’s piston-powered tongue knocks out its teeth.
Simultaneously flail the tongue and maneuver lips with tricky controls to simulate human speech. Speaking Simulator utilizes the most realistic gibberish system in all of gaming, created with real linguistic theory. One hand controls tongue placement, requiring quick presses on red buttons inside the mouth. The other hand elongates or purses the lips to form words. PC players can use webcams to control the android’s mouth movements.
Chase a high score in each level by sounding like a natural speaker. Unlock new upgrades adding layers of difficulty and increasing the score threshold. Use Socio-Optic Dynamics to make just the right amount of eye contact and Expressive Facial Pistons for some good ol’ human eyebrow wiggling. When all that stress is too much, blow off steam at a club in Self Expression Mode, where humans and robots can dance the night away.
If Mark Zuckerberg can convince most people he’s human, then how hard could this game be? Speaking Simulator will be out on Nintendo Switch and PC on January 30…FELLOW HUMANS.
Last Updated: January 9, 2020