My quest to make the gosh darn fugliest cowboy ever in Red Dead Online

2 min read
6

Red Dead Online (1)

Red Dead Online is currently available for a bunch of people, with the rollout of Rockstar’s wild west romp ending this weekend as everyone saddles up and prepares to get into multiplayer shenanigans. Like most games of its ilk, Red Dead Online allows you to create a cowboy who represents your activities in the new frontier. Rugged, burly riders whose brawny hands can slap leather and draw iron that delivers some old fashioned justice.

Testicles to that, because I’m hellbent on using my digital face as a weapon. In Red Dead Online, you’ve got more than enough tools at your disposal to craft a character who looks…unique. Starting with a template of course:

Red Dead Online (2)

Okay, that’s not exactly bad, but I want a face that not even a mother could love:

Red Dead Online (3)

Squint eyes, vacuously gazing into the distance? I’ll take it.

Red Dead Online (4)

This fella is too well-fed. I think it’s time to give him the intelligence and the build of a moron who eats rocks for breakfast:

Red Dead Online (5)

Next, a jawline that looks like it could be used to hammer said nutritious rocks off of a cliffside:

Red Dead Online (6)

After that? Teeth which reflect my hardy breakfast choices. Trust me, these be whistlin’ teeth!

Red Dead Online (7)

As for hair? I could go for a trendy buzzcut, but I’d prefer to give my avatar the kind of hairstyle that’s reserved for that one uncle in your family that you don’t want to talk about:

Red Dead Online (9)

Some unfashionable mutton-chops added for good measure, because who doesn’t want to look like they take fashion tips from a dead possum?

Red Dead Online (8)

A lifetime of bad skincare later, and I’ve got a character who looks like he was hit in the face with an entire plantation of ugly trees!

Red Dead Online (10)

There we go! I’ve got a varmint of note, an entire world to explore and a legend to cement. I’ll be playing more of Red Dead Online this weekend, provided that every single player in the game doesn’t drop dead from catching a glimpse of my face. Hiyoh Silver, awaaaaaaaaaaaay!

 

Last Updated: November 29, 2018

Check Also

Destiny 2: Where is Xur (and whats he got for sale?) – June 14

There are still those who are willing to get up at the crack of dusk and boot up their con…