Much like the truth of the Earth being flat (and supported by four elephants on the back of a gigantic space-faring turtle), it’s only a matter of time until Borderlands 3 is revealed to be real. With Battleborn being a flop of cartoonish proportions and the acidic sting of Aliens: Colonial Marines still refusing to heal up, developer Gearbox needs a win desperately right now.
And honestly, I’d kill for a return to Pandora. Again. If there’s one thing that I loved about Borderlands, it was the fact that it truly did live up to its own hype of having roughly a bajillion guns to collect. The thing is, 99% of those guns were trash by the time the endgame rolled around, mere fodder for cash as you stocked up on ammo and relied on some more exotic weapons with which to kill all manner of beasts within that loot ‘n shooter.
There were however, some real gems that were worth collecting. Some of them were useful, some of them were the perfect weapons for certain situations and some guns were hilarious pains in the ass to even use. Like the legendary Bane:
You know that scene in Dumb and Dumber when Lloyd asks a mafia goon if he wants to hear the most annoying sound in the world? That. Exactly that. With Borderlands 3 due for a reveal aaaaaaaaaaany minute now (E3 2018 probably), I’m hoping that it’ll be filled with wubalicious new guns. Guns which serve all manner of Easter egg purpose. One such weapon may already be in development: A flamethrower designed by none other than Elon “Is this what humans find fun” Musk.
The story started with Musk sporting a fancy new flamethrower designed by the Boring Company, before he took to Twitter to reveal some enhancements that he thought up of for the weapon of crispy destruction:
But wait, there’s more: the flamethrower is sentient, its safe word is “cryptocurrency” and it comes with a free blockchain
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) January 29, 2018
Never one to miss an opportunity, Gearbox’s big cheese Randy Pitchford decided to tell Musk that he was adding the weapon to Borderlands 3, and even offered to allow him to write the flavour text for it:
Elon – I’m going to add this to our next Borderlands game. Super serious. Let me know if you want to write the flavor text. You may have already done so – we’ll just lift it from one of your tweets.
— Randy Pitchford (@DuvalMagic) January 29, 2018
Musk seemed keen on the idea and 12 months from now I’m guessing that we’ll all be hunting for it. Sweet. Also it’s better than a certain other iconic South African weapon, the flame frower and lazer laaights bru.
At this rate, I can’t wait to get my hand on a gun that fires off several different crypto-currency rounds which range from non-effective to planet-shattering depending on the direction that the wind blows in at any time of the day.
Last Updated: January 29, 2018