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Yesterday Zoe and I went to the Microsoft office in Bryanston for the release of Windows 8.1. It was expensive; I had to use the Gautrain and its bus system, which was scary for a person from Pretoria. The only buses I have previously been on were the ones that my school used for trips.

The people at Microsoft were friendly though, they gave the all-powerful Zoe and me free cappuccinos and then moved us to the room where the other journalists were already talking, eating and drinking the other free stuff. They had freaking prawns in a blanket; I did not even know such things existed. However, thanks to a very big breakfast I had to skip all the food and go straight to the freezing coke that was in the corner.

This is starting to sound like a food diary so, screw that, back to the Microsoft experience. Windows 8.1 will see the return of the start button back, a boot-to-desktop option and some of the compatibility problems fixed. None of that was new to me – what surprised me was the small Incredible Connection that was just off the lobby; they had a freaking Samsung with Windows Phone 8 on it. Why would Samsung make a Windows Phone, I still cannot fully wrap my head around it. Ok, back to the conference thingy! The other big thing that got me excited was that I got my first official name badge. So, yippee.

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The other journalists that were there were awesome and, being an intern, I decided that staying silent and simply listening to what they had to say (and their jokes) was a better idea than trying to look smart. Eventually, after a session of eating free food and drinking free Coke, we were asked to shuffle into a mini cinema/conference/gaming room with nice seats against the back wall. Then the show began and man, was I surprised. We were shown a few features, got to hold some of the new tablets and then we just started asking questions.

Zoe was quite helpful by telling me once that I have to write something down, which I then proceeded to immediately forget. None of the training I have received at College could prepare me for the total lack of formality that was in the room.

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Also, I was brave enough to ask if any of the updates were going to Windows Phone 8. There is a separate update called GDR3 that has been released for the phone.

I found out (from my mistress) later what the thing that Zoe wanted me to remember was. The cores are the same so that means easy porting from the Xbox One to PC. However, research says this is only in AMD optimized games. According to Zoe and the guys, they have lied to us again.

Ok, so the OS has already been released, it looks nice with some new multi-tasking abilities, including the ability to have up to four applications open on the screen at the same time, and something that resembles a start button. Quick tip, I do not know if it tells you this, but if you right click on the shiny new start button, you will get a few options, including shut down.

Last Updated: October 18, 2013

1.1
was reviewed on PC

151 Comments

  1. Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

    October 18, 2013 at 14:37

    I hope you stole some cupcakes, because you’re going to have to ship them to Cape Town. They better not be half-eaten Vickie… or else!!!

    Reply

    • RapturedMossel

      October 18, 2013 at 14:46

      And they must still be warm!

      Reply

      • John's digital rights

        October 18, 2013 at 14:49

        I’m expecting to see food like that this weekend, going to a hotel in cpt, I shall see your shrimp and raise you something stranger…I’m going to be so awkward.

        Reply

        • Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

          October 18, 2013 at 14:55

          Demand that they get you a FULL polony and vienna gatsby from Rylands. Then Enjoy! You will not have to order more food the whole weekend. One gatsby can sustain an army!

          http://www.goldenplate.co.za/POLONY_GATSBY/imag015.jpg

          Reply

          • John's digital rights

            October 18, 2013 at 15:00

            Wow. Don’t think they’ll allow that anywhere near the place though, I’m going to stand out enough as it is. And I’ve been booked in at Rubens already.

          • SargonTheGreatPandaOfAkkad

            October 18, 2013 at 15:04

            They will understand if you bring that in. Ooooooh yes. They’ll understand.

          • John's digital rights

            October 18, 2013 at 15:05

            Haha. Can’t look at me any stranger than they probably are going to in the first place.

          • SargonTheGreatPandaOfAkkad

            October 18, 2013 at 15:07

            This is Cape Town we’re talking about. The only way you’d get weird looks would be if you were a Sasquatch and you made one of the shrimp cocktails your spouse. And then ate it.

            Seriously. Don’t do that. We frown upon eating spouses.

            Not seafood though. You should totally eat the seafood. Just.. don’t marry it first.

          • John's digital rights

            October 18, 2013 at 15:09

            True. We are a relaxed republic down here in the west. I’ve been very good at not eating my spouse.

          • SargonTheGreatPandaOfAkkad

            October 18, 2013 at 15:10

            Aha! I have caught you in my cunningly laid plan of CUNNING!

            You, sir, have revealed your hand!

            You are a Sasquatch!

          • John's digital rights

            October 18, 2013 at 15:15

            Yet no one has ever gotten a decent photograph of me. THAT is cunning.

          • SargonTheGreatPandaOfAkkad

            October 18, 2013 at 15:15

            Sad panda…

            ::Back to the Drawing Board of Almost-Cunning-Plans::

          • Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

            October 18, 2013 at 15:27

            Did someone say Sasquatch? Can we fry him?

          • John's digital rights

            October 18, 2013 at 15:28

            I taste so good because I eat so good

          • Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

            October 18, 2013 at 15:20

            Folks in the republic don’t even look twice if you’re wearing assless chaps. Cape Town! Got to love this place.

          • SargonTheGreatPandaOfAkkad

            October 18, 2013 at 15:22

            Assless chaps are pretty much expected at least one day of the year.

          • Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

            October 18, 2013 at 15:23

            Just walk into Canal Walk without them and people immediately think you’re an immigrant from Gauteng…

          • SargonTheGreatPandaOfAkkad

            October 18, 2013 at 15:25

            Conditions of entering Canal Walk without paying Foreigner Tax:

            A) Wearing Assless Chaps
            B) Residing in the Cape Flats
            C) Owning a car under the value of 65k
            D) Holding a Gatsby

          • Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

            October 18, 2013 at 15:26

            That’s pretty much everyone from Paarl to Sea Point.

          • John's digital rights

            October 18, 2013 at 15:26

            I resent that!

          • Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

            October 18, 2013 at 15:16

            Exactly! They will say… “A gatsby? He wants a gatsby? This man must be a Capetownian who’s living abroad..”. They’ll ask you “Why did you leave… why did you leave the republic of Cape Town?”.

            And you will look them in the eye and say, “It’s a sad, sad story… do you want a piece of my gatsby?”

            And before you know it, you’ll have new friends.

          • SargonTheGreatPandaOfAkkad

            October 18, 2013 at 15:20

            Even Helen Zille will come out to congratulate you on your triumphant return to the greatest Republic within a Republic.

          • Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

            October 18, 2013 at 15:22

            True story! She might even give him the keys to the Republic! Now imagine that keys to the Greatest Republic within a not-so-great Republic πŸ˜€

          • SargonTheGreatPandaOfAkkad

            October 18, 2013 at 15:23

            Hey, it’d be like you’re the Cape Town Bat-Sasquatch that no one has ever seen! AND you’d have a Gatsby! Eat that, Bruce Wayne! NO BRUCE! DON’T EAT IT! IT’S MINE!

            Spoilt rich kids…

          • John's digital rights

            October 18, 2013 at 15:24

            True story

          • SargonTheGreatPandaOfAkkad

            October 18, 2013 at 15:08

            Sigh. And I had such a nice supper planned. And now it is going to suck in comparison. You are a right rotten banana, you are.

          • Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

            October 18, 2013 at 15:17

            Hehehe, Fridays are either Fish and Chips…. or GATSBY!!!

          • SargonTheGreatPandaOfAkkad

            October 18, 2013 at 15:19

            It was Fish and Chips. Now it’s just going to be Disappointment Soaked in Fat with some shitty Potato.

          • RapturedMossel

            October 18, 2013 at 15:22

            hahaha! That must be the most depressing thing I’ve read in a while!

          • SargonTheGreatPandaOfAkkad

            October 18, 2013 at 15:27

            I’m so depressed. And someone gave me a downvote to console me. I’ll just go end it all now. I’ll eat a friggin salad. πŸ™

          • Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

            October 18, 2013 at 15:28

            All salads should come with a side order of bacon….

          • John's digital rights

            October 18, 2013 at 15:28

            Or a coupon to get discount on your make-up

          • SargonTheGreatPandaOfAkkad

            October 18, 2013 at 15:29

            LOL!

          • RapturedMossel

            October 18, 2013 at 15:32

            That’s harsh man. Dont worry, next time you’ll be the one with the gatsby! YOU GOTTA BE STRONG GODAMMIT!!

          • John's digital rights

            October 18, 2013 at 15:35

            There’s another downvote for you man. Don’t spend it all in one place now. πŸ™‚
            Fine, changed it to an upvote, I think it’s worth more…

          • Sk3tz0

            October 18, 2013 at 15:17

            Forgot your 2lt Passionfruit and Lemonade Jive…

          • oVg

            October 18, 2013 at 15:51

            HEAVEN !!

          • Kensei Seraph

            October 18, 2013 at 15:58

            It doesn’t look as delicious as you guys make it out to be.

          • SargonTheGreatPandaOfAkkad

            October 18, 2013 at 16:04

            You clearly haven’t eaten one. Try it. Go on.. try it.. just one bite.
            That’s all it takes.

          • Kensei Seraph

            October 18, 2013 at 16:10

            Are they available in Johannesburg?
            Preferably around the Bryanston/Randburg region.

          • SargonTheGreatPandaOfAkkad

            October 18, 2013 at 16:12

            Yoh bra. I dunno. Where is this Joburg plek you then spoke about?

            Ehum. Hahaha. No. I honestly think it’s a Cape thing. You don’t really find them in the Northern suburbs either. Well. Scratch that. You find them. But if they’re not from the South then they’re usually pretty kak.

            Edit: In other words. Just try one the next time you’re in the Cape. Specifically from Golden Plate.

        • RapturedMossel

          October 18, 2013 at 15:17

          “Bacon wrapped shrimp. It’s my first favourite food wrapped around my second favourite food” – Ron Swanson

          Reply

    • marilynbright23

      October 22, 2013 at 22:27

      Don’t worry about deceiving. Now, its a compeletely secure way
      to make a 55$/hour.. Just go to this link… bay35.com

      Reply

    • jodiewalter86

      October 23, 2013 at 10:00

      If you think Richard`s story is cool…, last week my brothers
      friend who’s a single mum worked and got paid $8425 sitting there a twenty
      hour week from their apartment and there classmate’s half-sister`s neighbour
      done this for three months and got over $8425 part time from their mac.
      applie the tips available at this link… bay35.com

      Reply

  2. Alien Emperor Trevor

    October 18, 2013 at 14:41

    They spelled your first name wrong on the badge.

    Reply

    • John's digital rights

      October 18, 2013 at 14:42

      Saw that too. Pity really, it’s such a nice badge.

      Reply

      • Victor "Vicky" Moolman

        October 18, 2013 at 14:47

        I was slightly confused when I had to get the tag, Zoe had to show me which one was mine

        Reply

    • NecroRince

      October 18, 2013 at 15:14

      Hahahaha πŸ™‚ Win.

      Reply

  3. Brett Miller

    October 18, 2013 at 14:45

    The bottom picture uses the same blue background and white writing as the BSOD…

    Reply

    • Hammersteyn

      October 18, 2013 at 14:50

      That’s what I thought at first.

      Reply

    • Sir Rants-a-Lot Llew

      October 18, 2013 at 14:51

      We all thought the same lol

      Reply

  4. Wesley Fick

    October 18, 2013 at 14:52

    The Windows Phone update is called GDR3, isn’t it?

    Reply

    • Victor "Vicky" Moolman

      October 18, 2013 at 14:55

      Thanks

      Reply

      • Wesley Fick

        October 18, 2013 at 15:09

        Cool beans. Also, I was taken with this part:

        “The cores are the same so that means easy porting from the Xbox One to PC. However, research says this is only in AMD optimized games. According to Zoe and the guys, they have lied to us again.”

        You seem to be confusing the kernels and DirectX here. The core of the OS, the kernel, is shared across the Windows, Windows RT, Windows Phone and Xbox One platforms, with minor differences in terms of hardware compatibility (in the case of Windows RT, one can’t run regular x86 desktop applications).

        Direct X 11.2 is shared between all platforms as well and is much more optimised thanks to work that’s been done in the Xbox One, including new features that you won’t find on other OSes outside of the Windows family. Its not AMD-specific either, because DirectX itself is mostly hardware agnostic. Things like tiled resources, shader linking and framebuffer scaling (all new in DX 11.2) run on Intel, AMD and Nvidia graphics in the same fashion.

        What is AMD-only is Mantle, a competitor to DirectX that could work on Windows, Android, Linux and OS X, making game porting easier along with performance improvements for AMD’s latest GPUs.

        Reply

        • SargonTheGreatPandaOfAkkad

          October 18, 2013 at 15:12

          Lol. Ten points for this ^

          Also. Can someone translate this into English for me? πŸ˜›

          Reply

          • Wesley Fick

            October 18, 2013 at 15:13

            TL:DR; Windows 8.1 is an improvement over vanilla Windows 8. All new things are not only applicable to AMD.

          • SargonTheGreatPandaOfAkkad

            October 18, 2013 at 15:14

            Thank you.

            And I uh.. totally.. understood that the first time. πŸ˜‰

            In all seriousness. That rocks. So what is with all the AMD loyalty then?

          • NecroRince

            October 18, 2013 at 15:16

            My brain hurt after the 4thline, you?

          • SargonTheGreatPandaOfAkkad

            October 18, 2013 at 15:17

            Yeah man. When he said “Core”, I was with him. Then he went crazy with some DirectX thing? Who ACTUALLY understands that? I thought you just clicked install? πŸ˜›

          • NecroRince

            October 18, 2013 at 15:18

            You do, but then you get people who like, read the terms and conditions and shit 0-O I don’t understand (need beer).

          • RapturedMossel

            October 18, 2013 at 15:20

            You agreed to this! (Taken from the Human Cent-iPad ep in South Park)

          • NecroRince

            October 18, 2013 at 15:26

            BWAHAHAHAH! πŸ™‚

          • SargonTheGreatPandaOfAkkad

            October 18, 2013 at 15:21

            I only read important T&C documents after at least two beers. Shit.. I do ALL my installing drunk anyway.

          • NecroRince

            October 18, 2013 at 15:23

            Hahhsa! Nothing like waking up with a whole bunch of dodgy apps on ones phone. I mean, a mate told me this…

          • SargonTheGreatPandaOfAkkad

            October 18, 2013 at 15:26

            This happened to.. eh.. a friend of mine.. as well..

            Horrible story. Terrible companies.

          • NecroRince

            October 18, 2013 at 15:31

            Actually, I discovered this month that these 3rd party fucks had illegally billed me over R1000. Contacted WASPA and they are making them refund me. Wouldn’t have known if I didn’t note a dodgy message saying I am STILL subscribed to something I had never seen before. Have to watch your back bro!

          • RapturedMossel

            October 18, 2013 at 15:34

            Damn, same happened to me when I was in varsity. I got R200 airtime per month and it would dissapear within 2-3 days. At first I thought I should probably slow down on the porn, but then I realised Im being screwed! (Not by myself)

          • RapturedMossel

            October 18, 2013 at 15:19

            Wait! You DONT just click install?!?

        • HvR

          October 18, 2013 at 15:23

          Mantle is GPU only and is only going to be rolled out on PC platforms, so it is the competitor to Direct3D and OpenGL only.

          DirectX is made of a wide range of APIs including Direct3D.

          I have no idea why the cores should have influence on compatibility; the only thing I can think off is that apps device using AMD APU setup running windows 8 can be easily ported to the X1. (so it is going to be easy to port windows tablet apps to X1???)

          The porting of games between PC and consoles (both of them) is still going to require a lot of work due to different ways hardware is utilized on a console and on a PC.

          All of it is still just MS marketing bullshit.

          Reply

          • Wesley Fick

            October 19, 2013 at 12:32

            Well, AMD has said before that Mantle is multi-platform, implying OS X and Android coverage. They’re even bringing out ARM products with GCN cores, similar to Nvidia Tegra. Coding for that platform using Mantle would be nice, Tegra already has a low-level API for Android as well.

            The Windows 8 kernel itself doesn’t influence compatibility that much, but the rest of the OS does. Windows RT, for example, is made only for ARM systems and can’t run any regular x86 apps because emulating a x86 environment (Intel, AMD, VIA systems) costs too many CPU cycles and requires more energy. It lags like a bitch, in other words.

            Apps can already be ported between the desktop, mobile and Xbox variants of Windows 8 thanks to the Windows Runtime API, which uses C++, C#, VB.Net and Javascript to run applications, which is platform agnostic. The only changes developers would have to make is performance optimisations and UI alterations to work on touch screens and in smaller resolutions.

            If you have time, look on Youtube for the Microsoft /Build 2013 conference keynotes and demos. This isn’t just bullshit on Microsoft’s part. It may not be what everyone wants, but this is how they’re doing it and how they intend to rival Apple’s ecosystem and get in with an all-in-one solution.

  5. DarthofZA

    October 18, 2013 at 15:06

    Samsung have been making phones for Windows for years already…

    Reply

  6. HvR

    October 18, 2013 at 15:07

    They are teaching you wrong.

    During the presentation if you catch a contradiction (like the porting thing) you start nailing that rep until he succumbs in a heap of sweat and tears admitting how useless his product ad live is.

    Then take some free shit home.

    Reply

    • NecroRince

      October 18, 2013 at 15:16

      What you said. Then send free stuff to me…

      Reply

      • Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

        October 18, 2013 at 15:29

        πŸ˜€ I approve of this

        Reply

  7. NecroRince

    October 18, 2013 at 15:13

    Wictor, wictor Charlie tango 0-O

    Reply

  8. DeltaBSO

    October 18, 2013 at 15:19

    Too many grammatical errors in one article for a Friday evening… Moving along >_>

    Reply

    • Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

      October 18, 2013 at 15:29

      Sigh dude… now that’s unnecessary.

      Reply

      • NecroRince

        October 18, 2013 at 15:32

        ‘Now’, not ‘now’. When you start a new sentence, you use a capital, it’s the right thing to do.

        Reply

        • Kensei Seraph

          October 18, 2013 at 15:37

          It is common not to capitalize after using an ellipsis.

          Reply

          • NecroRince

            October 18, 2013 at 15:38

            If you are not trying to write grammatically correct English, yes. It is.

          • SargonTheGreatPandaOfAkkad

            October 18, 2013 at 15:38

            Not if what comes after the ellipsis is intended to be a new sentence with no delay and/or pause.

          • NecroRince

            October 18, 2013 at 15:39

            Well done sir.

          • SargonTheGreatPandaOfAkkad

            October 18, 2013 at 15:41

            Likewise, sir. You know. I was knighted once. By a cat. It happened. Although apparently to be so knighted… [pause intended] it really needed to be a royal cat.

          • NecroRince

            October 18, 2013 at 15:41

            Hey! Where’s that CATipal?! See what I did there! BOOM!

          • SargonTheGreatPandaOfAkkad

            October 18, 2013 at 15:44

            Touche! I stand impressed by your ability to make clever little remarks! Haha! Catipal indeed!

          • Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

            October 18, 2013 at 15:55

            Aren’t all cats royal?

          • SargonTheGreatPandaOfAkkad

            October 18, 2013 at 15:58

            It depends who you ask. My Husky is of the opinion that all cats were sent by a Mythical horned creature to torment and destroy her brethren. Together, they have banded together to descend to the lowest depths of the local Cathedral to summon and banish the evil Cat Summoner. To no avail. They were unsuccessful. To hear the rest of her tale of bravery I must now wait on Diablo IV.. I mean..

          • Kensei Seraph

            October 18, 2013 at 15:47

            True, but I read it with a pause.
            I suppose we’ll have to get Jim to answer if he intended it to be a pause in the sentence or a new sentence entirely.

          • NecroRince

            October 18, 2013 at 15:49

            Might I also point out I was teasing Banana πŸ™‚ He is a friendly banana, one that I find amusing and have even been known to occasionally invite out for drinks.

          • SargonTheGreatPandaOfAkkad

            October 18, 2013 at 15:50

            Banana smoothies?

          • NecroRince

            October 18, 2013 at 15:52

            You just made me dry heave!

          • SargonTheGreatPandaOfAkkad

            October 18, 2013 at 15:54

            I blame Lazygamer. I see Gay Porn everywhere now!

            Edit: I can also never play Mario again. >.<

          • Victor "Vicky" Moolman

            October 18, 2013 at 15:54

            Who ordered the smoothie?

          • NecroRince

            October 18, 2013 at 15:58

            Not me! *Backs away slowly…

          • SargonTheGreatPandaOfAkkad

            October 18, 2013 at 15:59

            Good GOD man! Control your urges! CONTROL!

          • Kensei Seraph

            October 18, 2013 at 16:00

            Steam, Xbone, PS4 or mouse and keyboard?

          • SargonTheGreatPandaOfAkkad

            October 18, 2013 at 16:02

            Master Race.

          • Victor "Vicky" Moolman

            October 18, 2013 at 16:00

            I can’t I have been reprogrammed to obey any command. From the community, that is.

          • SargonTheGreatPandaOfAkkad

            October 18, 2013 at 16:03

            Okay “Intern”. I command you.. to think for yourself!

          • Victor "Vicky" Moolman

            October 18, 2013 at 16:06

            NO, does not make sense >!$@%#&@

          • Kensei Seraph

            October 18, 2013 at 16:09

            In order for you to realize that it doesn’t make sense wouldn’t you have to think for yourself to realize that it doesn’t make sense?

            I might be over-thinking things though.

          • NecroRince

            October 18, 2013 at 16:18

            CTRL ALT DEL! I ORDER!

          • Victor "Vicky" Moolman

            October 18, 2013 at 16:20

            -_-

          • NecroRince

            October 18, 2013 at 16:28

            HAHAHAHA! It’s all the wrenches, and ‘plumbing’ he partakes in… 0-O

      • Foxy

        October 18, 2013 at 15:32

        Your pseudo intelligence and wit is unnecessary.

        Reply

        • NecroRince

          October 18, 2013 at 15:33

          ARE, not IS.

          Reply

          • SargonTheGreatPandaOfAkkad

            October 18, 2013 at 15:34

            Lol. Well done.

          • NecroRince

            October 18, 2013 at 15:35

            Love it when pricks call someone else and only expose how retarded they are themselves.

          • SargonTheGreatPandaOfAkkad

            October 18, 2013 at 15:36

            Welcome to the InterwebZ. Where we have the technology, but not the SmartZ. Lol.

          • Kensei Seraph

            October 18, 2013 at 15:36

            ‘Is’ is the correct word in that sentence.

          • Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

            October 18, 2013 at 15:44

            Technically no, although it would have been correct had he bracketed “wit”. Therefore the subject would have been a singular instead of plural. Colloquially, you do get people who will say “intelligence and wit is”… but grammatically it’s incorrect, leaving English teachers around the world crying into their pillows and questioning their career choices….

            “Oh lawwd if only I had become a prositute instead…”

          • NecroRince

            October 18, 2013 at 15:46

            Indeed. I taught English for 7 years and cry when I see people trying to make clever comments when they are, in fact, WRONG like Donkey Kong.

          • Kensei Seraph

            October 18, 2013 at 15:49

            After rereading his sentence again I have come to realize my error.
            I apologize to everyone especially Rince.

          • Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

            October 18, 2013 at 15:51

            Rince is the resident language expert. I wouldn’t go up against him. Sadly, all I know about English is what I learnt from the back of an OMO box :/

          • NecroRince

            October 18, 2013 at 15:53

            Ahh, but I would never challenge you to a whiter-than-white stains competition now, would I?!

          • SargonTheGreatPandaOfAkkad

            October 18, 2013 at 15:53

            They still ship in boxes? I get the bags now. For the machines?

            OH! You must still hand wash your stains! πŸ˜‰

          • Foxy

            October 18, 2013 at 15:56

            He won’t know. He stays with mommy. Sad man shunted by society. Wondering why he is weird…….Is because you have not gotten out of your peel yet. Or just too high and mighty for people in the real world to appreciate.

          • SargonTheGreatPandaOfAkkad

            October 18, 2013 at 16:01

            I have no words. None. I have become silenced. If this was DotA there would be a Bloodseeker around the next copse of trees to gank me. And I’d let it. Just because I wouldn’t want to live in a world with you any longer than was absolutely necessary.

          • Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

            October 18, 2013 at 16:17

            Wow, what do you say to that…. (so much shocking revelations contained in that post)

            I’m trying to understand the last sentence “Or just too high and mighty for people in the real world to appreciate”. What a strange choice of words. Appreciate? Is this really about other people? Or is Foxy hinting that he wants to “appreciate” me? SHUDDER! This is starting to smell a little like a bad remake of Silence of the Lambs (but without Hannibal).

            Now the first part about “staying with mommy” and “being shunted by society” actually make me wonder whether Foxie isn’t calling out to us for help. Clearly. he’s projecting his own lot in life on me. (Shucks, he’s actually very lucky, because I wish I stayed with my mother. She can make a delicious puttanesca – her bobotie is also to die for )

            Amazing stuff… I think I might have gained a creepy stalker groupie.

          • SargonTheGreatPandaOfAkkad

            October 18, 2013 at 16:18

            I think we all need to take a break from this site for a while. You know.. until the police apprehend.. uh..

            At least until your stalker suddenly disappears?

          • Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

            October 18, 2013 at 16:20

            Yeah… if you don’t hear from me on Monday, I’ve probably been kidnapped by Foxie, and he’s wearing my skin as a dress!

        • SargonTheGreatPandaOfAkkad

          October 18, 2013 at 15:34

          Quickly! Someone call France! They are invading again!

          Reply

        • Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

          October 18, 2013 at 15:39

          I think you mean “are”. Although… some may say posting “wit” with “intelligence” is redundant, since wit is essentially intelligent humour. Now, whether I am a pseudo-intellectual is immaterial because my post count is OVER 9000!!!!

          ho ho ho!

          Reply

          • NecroRince

            October 18, 2013 at 15:40

            Hey, I already called him on this! You see Kensi’s limited knowledge reply? πŸ™‚

          • NecroRince

            October 18, 2013 at 15:40

            BWAHAHAHAHAH! Ahh, nana, You are da bomb.

      • oVg

        October 18, 2013 at 15:47

        Somebody did not get the intern job lol

        Reply

        • NecroRince

          October 18, 2013 at 15:50

          HAHAHAHA!

          Reply

          • Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

            October 18, 2013 at 15:51

            That saltiness in the air is the TEARS OF REJECTION!!!

    • SargonTheGreatPandaOfAkkad

      October 18, 2013 at 15:32

      I’m confused. Was the article for a specific person named “a Friday evening”? Or was the article released to the public on a Friday evening? Or did you only stumble upon this article on a Friday evening and then proceed to read it? Perhaps if you used some punctuation… [i]t would clarify your position.

      Ironic.

      Reply

      • NecroRince

        October 18, 2013 at 15:34

        You deserve a Bells, sir!

        Reply

      • Foxy

        October 18, 2013 at 15:34

        Actually you are just stooped to not understand.
        Don’t worry, we get it. You must belong to Sony.

        Reply

        • SargonTheGreatPandaOfAkkad

          October 18, 2013 at 15:35

          “Actually you are just stooped to not understand.”

          πŸ˜›

          Reply

        • Kensei Seraph

          October 18, 2013 at 15:38

          “Actually you are just stooped to not understanding.”

          If I’m going to try correct Rince it would be unfair if I also didn’t correct you.

          Reply

          • Victor "Vicky" Moolman

            October 18, 2013 at 15:42

            Have I ever told anyone that I love this community?

          • SargonTheGreatPandaOfAkkad

            October 18, 2013 at 15:43

            Coffee. Go. Now. πŸ™‚

          • Victor "Vicky" Moolman

            October 18, 2013 at 15:44

            Here you go…

          • SargonTheGreatPandaOfAkkad

            October 18, 2013 at 15:47

            Thank you!

            Wait! I SAID NO FOAM! Always skimping on the cream… >.<

          • Victor "Vicky" Moolman

            October 18, 2013 at 15:50

            I have climbed over mountains to bring you this delicacy from BUN, where the cream is purely optional

          • SargonTheGreatPandaOfAkkad

            October 18, 2013 at 16:09

            Capital!

          • Kensei Seraph

            October 18, 2013 at 15:45

            No you haven’t.
            I think your conscience is keeping you from telling such lies.

          • Victor "Vicky" Moolman

            October 18, 2013 at 15:51

            I am unable to tell lies, my good sir.

          • Kensei Seraph

            October 18, 2013 at 15:56

            Don’t worry you’ll learn eventually.

          • Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

            October 18, 2013 at 15:45

            Vickie…. where’s my coffee?

          • Victor "Vicky" Moolman

            October 18, 2013 at 15:47

            Just add the Amarula

          • Victor "Vicky" Moolman

            October 18, 2013 at 15:47

            Sorry, there we go

  9. oVg

    October 18, 2013 at 15:41

    The last time Darryn went on the bus

    Reply

  10. oVg

    October 18, 2013 at 15:44

    What else does your mistress make you do?

    Reply

    • Victor "Vicky" Moolman

      October 18, 2013 at 15:46

      I am not allowed to talk about it

      Reply

      • SargonTheGreatPandaOfAkkad

        October 18, 2013 at 15:46

        Wise pet.

        Reply

  11. Kromas

    October 18, 2013 at 18:27

    Easy porting? Mantle mantle mantle mantle mantle mantle mushroom mushroom!

    Reply

  12. B4d R0b0t

    October 21, 2013 at 09:32

    FYI you were in the new Microsoft Customer Experience Centre. Currently the most advanced and largest one in the world. Next time you are there pop into the server room, it has advanced stacks of tech from HP, DELL & IBM. The screens in the viewing room are the largest touch screens available on the market.

    Reply

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