Joke warfare, the cruellest form of video game entertainment

Y’know, back in my day, we didn’t have hundred man teams working on a realistic way to rip the head off of an Olympian god in stunningly graphic detail. No, we had to use our imaginations when we wanted blood, violence and gore. And war crimes. And the Red Cross isn’t digging any of that simulated violence.

Thanks to the unstoppable march of graphics in video games, the International Committee of Red Cross has asked the video game industry to create some sort of punishment system in their game for those players who would dare commit war crimes.

“Video games that are representing battlefields are very close to reality and actually it’s very difficult to [tell] the difference between real footage and the footage you can get from video games,” Francois Senechaud said in an interview with the BBC via GamaSutra.

We are arguing that we have to get even closer to reality and we also have to include the rules of conflict [as well].

Look, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Fremen child soldiers are rather bloody good on the battlefield. Erm, moving on, there’s a bunch of stuff that we can do in games that the Hague would frown on. Acts such as torture, civilian casualties and not respecting those prisoner of war rules.

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Fortunately for the Red Cross, implementing a slap on the wrist Quick-Time Event shouldn’t be too difficult. Why, I hear that Battlefield 4 will also have a parallel gameplay experience that allows players to sit down in their local parliament/congress and listen to politicians be as ineffectual as ever.

Now if you’ll pardon me, the spice must flow. Over the bodies of those Harkonnen civvies because it’s quicker route.

Last Updated: October 2, 2013

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was reviewed on PC

Darryn Bonthuys

Something wrong gentlemen? You come here prepared to read the words of a madman, and instead found a lunatic obsessed with comics, Batman and Raul Julia's M Bison performance in the 1994 Street Fighter movie? Fine! Keep your bio! In fact, now might be a good time to pray to it!

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