This is not an April Fools’ Joke

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LOOK AT DEM CABBAGES GROWING

Hey people, It’s me, Matthew, bringing you fresh news once more! Is this some cruel joke that the Lazygamer crew have thought up? “Yes, we will trick our readers into thinking that our long-lost cabbage intern is back to write for us once more! MWAHAHAHA WHAT A PRANK! MORE MOBA NEWS! MORE CABBAGE! THEY’LL NEVER SEE IT COMING!”

Sorry to say, this is 100% legit. I’M BACK BABY! No seriously, I’m here to stay. I realise that may sadden some of you who have grown used to nigh zero MOBA news and other bits and bobs that nobody else at Lazygamer HQ wants to write about. Somebody has to do it though, right?

It’s for this very reason that Geoff approached me one fine autumn afternoon, and offered me a position on the team in exchange for a whole year worth of ham sandwiches. Not one to be hoodwinked by the master troll, I negotiated a better wage – a single ham sandwich and a fistful of cabbage seeds – a real bargain if I do say so myself! It all seemed so real until he told me what day I’d be starting – April the 1st. I rocked up this morning fully expecting to be laughed at and thrown out.

I was. Thankfully, I was called back in within minutes and told to start working immediately.

In all seriousness though, this news is very real, and I am exceptionally happy to be back! Those six months of interning last year was some of the most fun I’ve ever had while working, and I really have missed working with this awesome team! The porra ratio has gone up once more. This news makes Sandy happy I’m sure, as he will no longer be facing the usual ridicule from everybody else alone anymore. MY BODY IS READY!

Of course, I’ve missed all of you too! I look forward to being trolled horribly and interacting with you crazy readers in the comments once more 🙂

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Last Updated: April 1, 2015

Matthew Figueira

Defence of the Ancients? More like Defence of the cabbages! Have you seen my head? I look like a Merino Sheep on pole. NO SHANGE only SHAPPIES! :D

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