This is the desk of a video game journalist

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I’m kind of fortunate. Despite the fact that I’m going grey well before my time and my day usually starts with Geoff having sold another one of my organs, I get to work from home. Despite the temptation to stop wearing pants and work whenever I want to. I still get up at 6AM every morning on the dot and start immediately on content for the day. And this is my bullpen.

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This is where all the magic happens. One room, one desk and yes that’s a proton pack. It’s not a toy dammit! It’s an unlicensed nuclear reactor. Some folks call their specific work environments. A term which makes me twitch so hard, it gets picked up on the Richter scale. Also pictured, Squeaky the cat, who is once again plotting to attack the dogs next door. That’s not a joke by the way.

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Above the desk, is a super sexy showcase of sleek consoles. Sony, Microsoft, Nintendo and even Sega are all represented right here. Sometimes, I like to pretend that the Megadrive still works, and sit in front of my screen making pew pew noises and imagining that I’m playing Urban Strike at that moment.

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Desk contents, right hand side. A Dalek mug which will ex-tea-minate your taste buds, Ray-Ban sunglasses, superglue for dickish purposes such as gluing Skylander figures to Disney Infinity bases and a pair of action figures.

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This just arrived from the delightful chaps at Times Media Films. It’s a bunch of biscuits, that are being used to promote upcoming feel-good food dramedy The Hundred Foot Journey. I’m also hoping that these aren’t poisoned biscuits, after I slammed Transformers 4 for being a loud, useless movie with no redeeming features whatsoever.

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HULK WANT COOKIES.

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This is where all your dreams come true. On this device, stories are written, tweets are posted and horrible pornography is viewed. It boasts that superior Sony technology of great hardware and genius design, such as glueing a piece of rubber over the PC components that generate the most heat. Genius.

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I like to keep my desktop organized, with all my essential Lazygamer files and folders being kept neat and tidy.

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More stuff. I wasn’t lying when I said that I was keeping my E3 Geralt statue in a place where I could admire it everyday. Next to Geralt, is the symbol of the greatest band of all time, some more Batman gear and a mask that I use when Jehova’s witnesses knock on my front door.

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Also, Kinetic Sand! Some days, my brain just refuses to work, which is why I keep a tub of the stuff around. It has freaky properties, but spending a few minutes playing with the stuff always gets my juices flowing. My brain juices that is. Not those other juices.

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NO REFUNDS!

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What’s inside the drawers? Most of the time, spare games and controllers. As well as Batman gauntlets and gloves. Because you never know when they’ll come in handy. And there you have it! That’s just a small look at the environment that creates Lazygamer content every day. Thank the gods that I’m not showing you guys what’s behind that desk, because that might leave y’all scarred.

Last Updated: August 25, 2014

Darryn Bonthuys

Word-slinger at Critical Hit. Inventor of the macho Swiss gym chocolate known as Testoblerone. That's...that's about it really.

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