They’re everywhere. Winged engines of destruction. Predators who have an uncanny ability to home in on cars that have just been washed so that they can add a layer of excrement to the glossy coat that you just applied. Beaked bastards, who watch you…always. Pigeons may just be nature’s perfect crapping machines. The perfect organism. Its structural perfection is matched only by its hostility and desire to coo softly while it watches you through a window.
Now imagine if you could play as a creature whose mind is unclouded by conscience, remorse, or delusions of morality. Not only that, picture a pigeon whose power has been further increased and unleashed on an unsuspecting populace. If you can imagine that terror, then you’d get…Pigeon Simulator:
Pigeon Simulator comes from Bossa Studios, who you might remember as the team that was responsible for the delightfully absurd Surgeon Simulator game. That was a game where it was up to you to slice and dice your way through a patient, using various medical tools and trying to ignore all the blood that was gushing forth from the various wounds that you had inflicted on the poor sap strapped to an operating table. Ye gods, there was a lot of blood. So, so much blood.
Pigeon Simulator is pretty much the next chapter in a wacky portfolio that so far also includes I Am Bread and Worlds Adrift, with the latter game having its servers shut down later this month. Pigeon Simulator is kind of like Worlds Adrift in that it has a focus on flying, although the feathery new title from Bossa Studios also focuses on just flatout chaos as a glorified rat with wings.
I kind of want this. Because, ever since I was a kid, I wanted to be a Goodfeather…
Last Updated: July 2, 2019
Dutch Matrix
July 2, 2019 at 11:58
Don’t let Darryn’s bile spewing article make you see these amazing birds in a bad light.
My Dad was a pigeon fancier, and was part of the pigeon racing scene for most of my life.
It always fascinated me how you can take these birds from The Vaal, drop them off in Matjiesfontein and they can find their way home.
As soon as you let them out the basket, they will circle a few times, then boom! On their way back they go.
Amazing stuff.
The D
July 2, 2019 at 12:21
Jokes aside, I’m coo with pigeons. Have a bird feeder in the yard and I dig seeing them mingle with the other smaller chaps.
But man…those fucking hadeedas. I despise those bastards. Shit everywhere, screech at the worst possible time and chase the smaller dudes away.
Admiral Chief Umbra
July 2, 2019 at 12:27
They don’t shit. They have explosive poop package cannons
Admiral Chief Umbra
July 2, 2019 at 12:06
Homing pigeon filthy city flying rat
Dutch Matrix
July 2, 2019 at 12:06
Still got a better personality than you
Admiral Chief Umbra
July 2, 2019 at 12:14
“Waiter, can we get a saucer of milk and some catnip please? Table for one”
Admiral Chief Umbra
July 2, 2019 at 11:59
Filthy creatures
Yahtzee
July 2, 2019 at 12:06
As an avid avian hater, I disapprove of this sky rat game.
Admiral Chief Umbra
July 2, 2019 at 12:06
I like owls and eagles and…….[thinks for a bit]….yeah that is my list
Dutch Matrix
July 2, 2019 at 12:06
How in the hell do you hate birds? I am not the out on the weekend with my bird book type but there are some amazingly beautiful creatures out there.
Admiral Chief Umbra
July 2, 2019 at 12:14
I don’t hate them. But some of them are really filthy annoying creatures (and they only became that way because of the filthy hoomanses)
Yahtzee
July 2, 2019 at 12:06
Don’t get me wrong. I rate dogs lower than birds.
HairyEwok
July 2, 2019 at 12:21
The Goodfeather….. Starring Al Birdcino, Robird Duvall and James Coo