It’s going to be a while before sports are a thing again, which likely explains why I’m hearing my father yell a lot less about the ref not knowing what he’s talking about with the leg before wicket rule whenever his favourite football team takes to the NASCAR pitch. I…I really don’t know sports. One sport that is easy to understand, will always be mixed martial arts.
There’s no shortage of the stuff, from Bellator to local products such as EFC, but the cream of the crop will always be the UFC. What began with Royce Gracie’s unstoppable hug attacks way back in the early 1990s has evolved into a more visceral and punishing game of face-rearranging devastation that plays out weekly across the world. Or it used to, before UFC fighters realised that the safe zone for social distancing meant that their Superman punches were now easier to avoid.
Arenas are empty, fighters have nothing to connect their fists to and armchair critics are dying for new content that they can rip apart and tell you exactly how a fight should go according to them if they were younger, fitter and could shrug off multiple blows to the face. What’s a fight promoter to do? Hold a tournament away from the more populated sections on the planet and on a private island instead.
Taking a page from Enter the Dragon and the 1995 Mortal Kombat film, UFC big boss Dana White has apparently managed to rent an island according to Kotaku, one that he will fill with all manner of fighters as soon as he can figure out how to legally transport them there. White is hoping that once the UFC roster and technical crew have made it to the mystery island, they’ll be able to spend the next two months filming weekly fights and broadcasting them to an audience dying for new fisticuffs action.
It may just be the maddest plan ever, and while I’m secretly hoping that White is figuring out how to attach two extra arms to Brock Lesnar, I’m waiting with baited breath to see if this ballsy plan can actually be realised. Not the Mortal Kombat film I was hoping for, but I’ll gladly devour take it in these dire times.
Last Updated: April 7, 2020