Vanquish could finally be coming to PC

3 min read
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Vanquish

“Hey SEGA.”

”…Who are you? How did you get into my office?”

”A magician never reveals his secrets.”

”You’re a magician?”

”No I…Listen just sit down, look up and shut up. I’ve got one question for you and you better answer correctly: Where is Vanquish on PC?”

“I’m calling security.”

“SMOKE-BOMB TIME! I’LL BE BACK DAMMIT!”

That’s pretty much how my weekly interactions with SEGA and Platinum have gone for the last couple of years, as fans have asked…NAY…demanded that one of the greatest action games of all time be released on PC. And I don’t blame them. Almost seven years after it was first released, Vanquish is still the pinnacle of slidin’ and firin’ breakneck action, a game that continued a hot winning streak for developer Platinum and further cemented their legacy as merchants of mayhem.

Look, it’s a really good game okay? The story is bonkers, the explosions are massive and the acting is so bad that it manages to go full circle and become glorious in its cheesiness. If Hollywood director Michael Bay ever needs a pick-me-up, he snorts ground-up PS3 copies of Vanquish to help carry him through a hectic day. Probably. Don’t sue me.

There may be some hope on the horizon for beleaguered PC gamers then, as some digging on NeoGAF yesterday in the recently released PC port and update of Bayonetta saw an image crop up in the game folder. An image that looked like this:

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vanquish 1

If that isn’t a dead ringer for Sam Gideon’s DARPA Armour and helmet, then I’ll eat something dangerous and lethal to my system, like more KFC Dunked Zinger Wings. Is SEGA pulling a fast one, or is Vanquish due for an imminent release on PC? I certainly hope so, as Bayonetta pretty much dropped on that platform a few weeks ago without any warning whatsoever. It’s hard to not believe that SEGA wants to drop the action game on PC, especially in light of the positive sales of Bayonetta so far.

C’mon SEGA, stop toying with my emotions like this and just do it already.

Last Updated: April 25, 2017

Darryn Bonthuys

Something wrong gentlemen? You come here prepared to read the words of a madman, and instead found a lunatic obsessed with comics, Batman and Raul Julia's M Bison performance in the 1994 Street Fighter movie? Fine! Keep your bio! In fact, now might be a good time to pray to it!

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