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Video Game Legends: The monkey men of Halo

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Halo 3 happens to have a pretty simple beneath it, as it chronicles the legend of one genetically engineered Uber-mensch, as he fights alien fire with even bigger fire. And there’s all kinds of freaky aliens to shoot in Halo, from albino gorillas in armour, through to Oompah Loompahs with plasma pistols, setting the stage for a Humanity versus the galaxy battlefield. So where do those eery human-face apes fit into the picture?

If you happen to have Halo 3, most likely as a cheap Christmas present that the second hand shops have no interest in taking off your hands, then you too can find this bizarre Easter egg. Hidden in the first level of the game, you can find a whole family of the abominations, sitting there staring into space, ignoring you completely with their inbred faces.

And no, you can’t kill them. Sure, you can shoot them and make them bleed, you sadistic fiends, but they won’t go away, no matter how much ammo you expend in the game, and in your nightmares.

To make matters worse, these aren’t the only apes loitering around the UNSC. You can find another one later on in the game, through a convoluted method involving death, respawns and sticking yourself outside of the game map, where you’ll see a monkey man sitting all on his lonesome.


But the monkey shenanigans don’t end there, as one of the accursed species even makes his way into Halo 3: ODST. In the final cut-scene, players can move the camera around in the final few seconds, and shifting it to the left will reveal, you guessed it, a monkey man inside of the spaceship.

They’re pretty much everywhere, and there’s no rational explanation for them. One theory suggests that they’re modelled after Marcus Lehto, creative art director at Bungie, the same physical blueprint for the Spartan soldiers, which might have some seriously nasty links there.

We’re more inclined to believe that the monkey men are the architects behind all the events of Halo, a secret society of apes that have been guiding humanity into war with The Covenant, for their own nefarious purposes, which kind of also makes sense.

Last Updated: July 27, 2012

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