We all need to do our part for the environment. It’s hard for countries to keep the lights on, and everyone is jumping onto sustainable energy solutions. From wind and sun to water and geothermics, there are a ton of options for helping to lessen your strain on the grid. Porn Hub wants to help, and their solution is simply genius.
We’ve told you before about bizarre wearables. They’re all the rage at the moment, but tend to be primarily focused on fitness. Even that hilarious SexFit was basically a sexual fitness wearable for your penis. But this latest wearable tech is far more sophisticated and offers an added benefit to an activity that is already ubiquitous.
Meet the Wank Band. Brought to you by Porn Hub, it officially has the best tagline ever: The power is in your hand. The idea is simple – love the planet while you love yourself. The design is simple – thanks to a kinetic charger, the Wank Band creates power when moved up and down. You can then use that energy to charge your devices via USB. There is even this awesome SFW video that explains it all.
You can sign up to be a “Be(a)ta tester” over here if you’re so inclined. I think this is fantastic technology. It’s unisex, although I’m sure the range of motion required for men vs women will impact on how efficiently it generates energy. Either way, it’s wonderful to think that we can counteract load shedding by, um, shedding loads?
Have they finally created the wearable tech that will make our lives better? Could this be the future we needed? Of course it could make extended periods of power outages a bit more awkward as people disappear to charge their devices, but it really is and excellent way to harness people’s existing activities. Welcome to the future, where masturbation is productive and good for the environment.
Last Updated: January 4, 2017
Umar
March 4, 2015 at 13:34
Think I need to shed my load
RinceThis
March 4, 2015 at 13:34
Get out of here!
Umar
March 4, 2015 at 13:35
You want me to, beat it?
RinceThis
March 4, 2015 at 13:35
Oh come on! 0_O
Umar
March 4, 2015 at 13:36
Come on where?
RinceThis
March 4, 2015 at 13:38
Who? 0_O
Sgt. M
March 4, 2015 at 13:52
LOL
*refresh
Ranting Raptor
March 4, 2015 at 13:54
*groans*
Pariah
March 4, 2015 at 13:54
Not what she said.
Umar
March 4, 2015 at 13:57
HNNNG….wait, what’s going on…..
Ranting Raptor
March 4, 2015 at 16:22
NO! Not that kinda of groan!!!
Sgt. M
March 4, 2015 at 14:01
Also he gives us advice in the song
“Don’t Wanna Be A Boy, You Wanna Be A Man
You Wanna Stay Alive, Better Do What You Can
So Beat It, Just Beat It”
Umar
March 4, 2015 at 14:02
LOL! I’m probably gonna stay alive for a very long time….*waggles eyebrows*
Sgt. M
March 4, 2015 at 14:04
Going all Master Roshi on us. Come to think about it I always wondered what his secret was
Umar
March 4, 2015 at 14:07
Secret must by in the Dragon…balls….
Sgt. M
March 4, 2015 at 14:10
*Be
Umar
March 4, 2015 at 14:13
Awww man….That ruined everything 🙁
Sgt. M
March 4, 2015 at 14:18
You broke it Umar!! With you 2 minute noodle!!!!
Umar
March 4, 2015 at 14:22
LOLZ….I R SORRY for my poor spelling.
Sgt. M
March 4, 2015 at 14:25
#StayStrongUmar #2minuteNoodle
Kensei Seraph
March 4, 2015 at 15:35
your*
Sgt. M
March 4, 2015 at 15:37
DAMN
Sgt. M
March 4, 2015 at 15:38
I thought it would slip by
Lothy
March 4, 2015 at 13:35
That didn’t take long
Umar
March 4, 2015 at 13:38
Yeah, the struggle is real. Only takes 2 minutes.
Lothy
March 4, 2015 at 13:39
Im sure that makes u a lady killer 😉
Umar
March 4, 2015 at 13:41
Yup, they call me, Mr Efficient because I don’t waste no time in dishing out the luuuuurv.
Pariah
March 4, 2015 at 13:39
If you call that a struggle I feel sorry for your Mrs.
Umar
March 4, 2015 at 13:42
No complaints by the Mrs. Done before 7de laan :O
Pariah
March 4, 2015 at 13:44
LOL!!!! All’s well that ends well. 😀
Ranting Raptor
March 4, 2015 at 13:53
That was terrible
Pariah
March 4, 2015 at 13:54
That’s what she said.
Dutch Matrix
March 4, 2015 at 13:59
There you go Umar. Have fun…
http://fc04.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2014/267/2/8/kirkika_by_rolf_fan_girl-d80e5xf.jpg
Pariah
March 4, 2015 at 13:59
LOOOOOL!
Umar
March 4, 2015 at 13:59
Right…Time to charge my phone….
RinceThis
March 4, 2015 at 13:35
https://i.imgur.com/kK69EfM.gif
Peter Knobloch
March 4, 2015 at 14:01
Um…
Sgt. M
March 4, 2015 at 14:12
Looks like he was caught mid cum
ReaperOfSquirrels
March 4, 2015 at 13:35
lol! What the hell?!?!? The crazy shit people come up with these days.
Pariah
March 4, 2015 at 13:39
I was expecting this to be a Darryn article. Maybe he was too busy testing it?
HvR
March 4, 2015 at 13:46
Probably the reason why we haven’t had loadshedding for more than a week.
http://i.imgur.com/eo2b01C.jpg
Pariah
March 4, 2015 at 13:46
HAHAHAHAHA
The D
March 4, 2015 at 14:10
A subscription to a German fetish site, a box of tissues and I’m a cheaper power source than the Medupi station.
Kensei Seraph
March 4, 2015 at 15:33
And more reliable as well.
Nahuel Graziani
March 4, 2015 at 14:02
Darryn’s verdict:
Gosh, I have no idea how to link a .gif on Disqus, so here’s a damn link 🙁 [URL]http://i.imgur.com/OJw1tCZ.gif[/URL]
RinceThis
March 4, 2015 at 13:40
I can think of better ways to “charge” up http://i1046.photobucket.com/albums/b463/mattobv/shake.gif
HvR
March 4, 2015 at 13:51
Pfft she is about efficient as Eskom. We need double power
http://static.fjcdn.com/gifs/Fat_fe36d3_1153790.gif
ReaperOfSquirrels
March 4, 2015 at 13:42
http://awesomelyluvvie.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/NOPE.gif
RinceThis
March 4, 2015 at 13:43
You’ve been internetted!
Norm
March 4, 2015 at 13:44
Best GIF EVAR!
Norm
March 4, 2015 at 13:43
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Hammersteyn
March 4, 2015 at 13:51
My friend wants to know how much it charges in 5 seconds?
Pariah
March 4, 2015 at 13:52
Apparently @umarbastra:disqus knows.
Umar
March 4, 2015 at 13:59
Enough to fill a glass full of disappointment.
Hammersteyn
March 4, 2015 at 14:06
He says a shot glass O_o
Umar
March 4, 2015 at 14:08
Lol Ouch! *Pats hammer’s back*
DrKiller
March 4, 2015 at 14:07
the cover up story is usually about your “cousin”, not your “friend” 😛
Hammersteyn
March 4, 2015 at 14:08
LOL
Ranting Raptor
March 4, 2015 at 13:53
According to 10 year old kids who shout at a person online all day these devices will only be used 2 seconds at a time… So not enough energy saved there….. Rather ineffective
Dutch Matrix
March 4, 2015 at 13:55
But an old hand like me err my friend can go for at least twenty five minutes…
Her Highness the Hipster
March 4, 2015 at 14:10
“old hand” keeps making me LOL
Umar
March 4, 2015 at 14:12
Same!! LOL
Dutch Matrix
March 4, 2015 at 14:16
I am here all week! *Takes a bow*
Her Highness the Hipster
March 4, 2015 at 13:54
c’mon guys, you can even get partner’s involved during load shedding
“don’t worry honey, you can help charge the phone…”
Umar
March 4, 2015 at 14:01
Lol…I’d always keep my phone on 1% battery life then.
Ranting Raptor
March 4, 2015 at 16:23
Find the ultimate balance. Find a game or app that drains the battery as fast as the… charging…
DrKiller
March 4, 2015 at 14:15
I was thinking of a game of Dota, but ok its fine, we don’t want to make things uncomfortable for @hammersteyn:disqus 🙂
hairyknees
March 4, 2015 at 14:58
xD
Kensei Seraph
March 4, 2015 at 13:55
I’m sure that they could develop a female friendly version.
Pariah
March 4, 2015 at 13:56
This is already female friendly.
“Hey honey, wanna wub wub now with load shedding?”
“Go fuck yourself. Here, wear this…”
Kensei Seraph
March 4, 2015 at 13:57
It occurs to me that there are other actions that have a similiar movement, such as hammering a nail.
Sgt. M
March 4, 2015 at 13:58
Thank you for making me try and emulate that and now my colleagues all wanna know what I just done.
Spathi
March 4, 2015 at 13:59
Bwhahaahahahahah!
Sgt. M
March 4, 2015 at 14:02
Try as I may they won’t believe its a hammering motion.
HvR
March 4, 2015 at 13:57
Needed one of these in Doom 3.
Dutch Matrix
March 4, 2015 at 14:01
You wank to Hellknights? Sexy!
Umar
March 4, 2015 at 14:00
Just want to say, thanks to all the filthy minded people of LG. This really is a safe place 😛
Captain JJ the damned
March 4, 2015 at 14:06
This seems like it would’ve been a perfectly fine invention to use in the gym actually, or while jogging.
loftie
March 4, 2015 at 16:33
dont you dare bring sensible logic here! 😀
DJSkippy
March 4, 2015 at 14:06
LM*AO
HvR
March 4, 2015 at 14:06
I wonder if you can power a Fleshlight with a Wank Band?
ReaperOfSquirrels
March 4, 2015 at 14:20
You just HAD to go there, didn’t you?
DJSkippy
March 4, 2015 at 14:09
Please peeps, I’m tying to work here and all these comments are making me LOL sooo bad that the whole office is looking at me.
Sgt. M
March 4, 2015 at 14:17
Yeah that makes two of us
DrKiller
March 4, 2015 at 14:11
“Of course it could make extended periods”
Eish, you not selling it there Zoe 🙂
Dutch Matrix
March 4, 2015 at 14:20
“Honey, have you been watching Porn again?”
“No Sweetie pie. I swear, I have not watched that stuff. Ever. What makes you think I was watching Porn?”
“Well, all the other houses in the street’s dark except for ours…”
ReaperOfSquirrels
March 4, 2015 at 14:20
lol… “dirty power”… lol
Umar
March 4, 2015 at 14:21
My Wank Band is the Wank Band that will pierce the heavens!!
ReaperOfSquirrels
March 4, 2015 at 14:32
From watching anime for the plot?
Dutch Matrix
March 4, 2015 at 14:32
They should have called it Band Wank. Then they could have a bunch of famous singers write and perform a rousing and inspirational song called “We Love the World, We Love ourselves”
“We love the WorldWe love ourselvesWe are the ones who makes a better daySo let’s start Wanking”
Sung to the Tune of Band Aid’s We are the World…
hairyknees
March 4, 2015 at 14:58
O_O
WitWolfy
March 4, 2015 at 15:16
I’ll just leave this here…
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BU5OlNwCEAED21b.jpg:large
Jack
March 4, 2015 at 21:58
and ?
WitWolfy
March 5, 2015 at 09:40
Nevermind. n Hoog graad grappie.