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Only Paul Blart shall weep for the death of the Segway

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Only Paul Blart shall weep for the death of the Segway 3

Why walk when there are faster and easier ways of getting there? In our search for more convenient ways to travel around, humanity came up with all manner of walk-avoiding devices, with our inherent laziness reaching the zenith of personal transportation.

Called the Segway Personal Transporter, this device provided the mobility of walking, with all the speed and joy of a motorised vehicle and none of the effort that rollerblades and skateboards needed. Before the market became saturated with electric-powered two-wheelers of many varieties, the Segway was the original personal transporter that paved the way for others to follow. Sadly, though, the Segway company has announced (as reported in Fast Company) that it will be no more:

Only Paul Blart shall weep for the death of the Segway 4

Given our decades-long history, we recognize that this decision may come as a disappointment to our strong and loyal following among private owners, who view the Segway as one of the more innovative creations of the early 21st century. We are grateful for the support and loyalty of our consumers and are proud of the impact our products have made on our customers’ lives and the reputation of the Segway brand.

To be fair, this news shouldn’t surprise anyone. With the speed that the Segway offered up and its high price point, it was neither affordable nor considered safe enough for the average person and instead only found a user base in the law enforcement and security industries where trained people could use them to great (comedic) effect to catch people. It was also made famous as the mode of transport used by Kevin James in the Paul Blart movies.

With COVID-19 not helping production matters, the company has decided to close its doors for good. There will undoubtedly be many other devices that do the same thing flooding the market, but in a way, even if I never ever used one, I think I will miss seeing these used in airports and malls. It was the one cool thing about those jobs that will now be no more.

Last Updated: June 25, 2020

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