10 Reasons why GTA IV sucks

6 min read
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The biggest game in forever has arrived and you’ve all been taken along for the ride. But not me. I think Rockstar has thrown the baby out with the handgun. Sure, there have been other lists similar to this one, but what we have here are ten definitive reasons why GTA IV is a terrible, terrible game. I’m no spring-chicken, either. I have done my GTA time. Okay, I played GTA a lot but never actually got anywhere. GTA 2 was a bit spec heavy. GTA 3 was awesome, but I had a sucky PC. In Vice City I got far enough to sell drugs and after spending hours not unlocking sh** in San Andreas, I downloaded a 100% save game and spent the rest of my time driving tanks though traffic. So clearly I am an experienced expert at all things Grand Theft Auto!

So listen up! Forget ‘broken’ cars or a combat system that actually makes the combat playable (thus ruining it for us ultra-hardcore players). Here is why GTA IV sucks:

Jesus, Paki, I DON’T LIKE YOUR SISTER
Dude, get over it. I’m a homicidal maniac, she’s a Catholic prude. It’s not gonna work and the fact that I haven’t called her since our second date(she wouldn’t put out) might be a sign I have moved on. Yeah, I spoke to her at the funeral. So what? I also spoke to the guy at the hot dog stand. Then I shot him. So tell your sis to back the f*** off.

Look, people, I have to work
I’m barely in town and I have a phone book full of whinging, whiny, unaccommodating ‘friends’. They bitch when I call at the wrong time (though they never bother to give me a real schedule or something), they bitch when I’m late (even though they expect me to get to them in an hour when they phoned me while I was across town going against peak hour traffic on a bridge) and they bitch when I don’t call them. Listen, people, I got to know you because you hired me to do nasty business for you. I’m busy with nasty business. I also want to tell my friends “Dude, you’re an asshole for calling me before [insert time here].” Sod off and go drink with one of my other needy friends. I’ll see you after the story.

I just shot 200 people, but I forgot to change my clothes for a date.
Jeesh, dates are picky. That’s why I don’t go on them. “You could have changed your clothes”, “You never call!”, “Your car is crap.” Sorry about that, my dear,but the BMW knock-off is currently lying on its roof and on fire in front of the cops. What, you thought the flashing lights following me was a police escort?

This is my rifle, this is my gun. So where’s my tank?
Okay, there might be a tank. I don’t know. But there had better be. I want to back it up across one of the narrow bridges. It’s also said there is no parachute. Then what’s the point of the tall buildings?! The suicide camera cut is nice, but gets tired. I want to float like a butterfly and snipe like an unemployed man and a boy hiding in a car. O, well, maybe I’ll find the jet pack soon. Then watch the cops chase me!

No Boeing for you
YOU CAN’T HIJACK A BOEING!!! Yes, it would be a pointless exercise. You would clear the map before you clear take-off. But this is GTA, so I wanna! I promise I won’t fly it into any buildings. Scouts honour. Not for the first ten minutes, at least…

FFS, people, INDICATE!
I asked someone who lived in New York if the drivers there a) never indicate and b) ignore any semblance of a car horn. Apparently this is the case. So hats off to Rockstar for the realism, but if another bastard changes lanes for no reason while I’m doing mach 5 down a narrow road, I’m killing him and everyone on the highway. At least now stealing a squad car has real value. But this is why I need a tank – to protect myself against the non-indicating masses.

Jimmy could kick Niko’s ass
This is actually a serious point. Rockstar has two games with awesome melee combat systems: The Warriors and Bully. Now Niko can be a nimble mofo, providing you can time that dodge move of his. I can’t, so all friendly contests of pugilism end with a shotgun in the face. My honour is hurting: I deserve to stomp the faces of my challengers like any red-blooded thug.

I ain’t digging the tweens, man
Either a lot of people playing GTA online have hormone problems or there are a lot of teens and tweens hanging around, playing the game. This is not on. It’s a MATURE game. That means I expect, when online, not to get my ass kicked by someone half my age. This is why I buy M-rated games. Not that it’s ever worked, but I have hope. Look, all I want is a placebo effect. When the game detects a kiddie voice coming over the comms, disguise it to sound like a hot Japanese schoolgirl. I don’t mind being beaten by a hot Japanese schoolgirl.

Nobody told me you could stab the lawyer
Seriously, do you people know how hard it was to shoot my way out of the lawyer building? Well, not really. It was actually easy (especially compared to the bank robbery). But if I stabbed the guy, I could have strolled out, bought a burger and get my car sans the bullet hole decor. Hellnooooo , I had to take out a grenade and blow him to kingdom come. For some reason that alerted EVERYONE. Here I thought high-class lawyers had sound-proof rooms for those sensitive crime boss conversations. Not True!

Where’s Lazlow?
You hear on the radio that he’s walking around. But I can’t find him. No screaming hot dog guy. No music video shoot. No woman with a panty-wearing husband. It feels like the REAL Liberty City is hidden right in front of me. Then again, maybe it’s best I don’t find Lazlow wandering in the city. I’d drive over him. I don’t want to – the radio show is awesome. But I would anyway, just because I can.

If Rockstar fixes these things then maybe, MAYBE, I’ll download a 100% file.

Last Updated: May 16, 2008

James

A total movie glutton, nothing is too bad or too obscure to watch, unless it’s something like The Human Centipede. If you enjoyed that, there is something wrong with you. But bless you anyway – even video nasties need love…

  • I take it you asked Rockstar for a free t-shirt and it never arrived? hehe

  • so really you’re absolutely loving that game… I see what you did there nice

  • LazySAGamer

    I absolutely loved this….

  • James Francis

    50 hours and counting! Though these are things that annoy/annoyed me at some point.

  • Syph1n

    Its like a list of things we tell ourselves when we are at work and cant play to make ourselves feel better..:)

  • Etienne Vlok

    Great take on it, sir! Thumbs up!

  • Fox1

    Funny :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

    But so true πŸ™‚

  • Hello????? Did someone say GTAIV’s been released!!! When? And will it work on my Sega Genesis!!!

  • Lol. Btw, you don’t have to fight your way out the lawyers office – he has windows…

  • Good stuff…. πŸ˜‰

  • James Francis

    No idea. I’m going off what a mate of mine said. He stabbed the guy and walked straight out. Nice,touch, though. I’ve noticed there are several instances in missions where your actions can change an event. For example, I never got the choice to not kill him. Dude was too slow to even get to the cutscene! (The AK-47 is a lovely weapon)

  • James Francis

    Misread the post πŸ˜›

    Are you frikkin’ serious? Well, hey, Niko’s hardcore…

  • Rap7a

    I didn’t think of stabbing the lawyer πŸ™„

    I sat down to 10seconds of his speech, whipped out my Deagle and put a bullet though his head 😳

  • I tried doing it with the baseball bat, but the secretary still walked in.

  • RossIRSA

    The first 4 complaints are the games biggest problems for me.

    Hopefully they will fix this in the next one.

  • James Francis

    You don’t like Paki’s sister? Aw πŸ™

  • Vamp

    “I donÒ€ℒt mind being beaten by a hot Japanese schoolgirl.”
    Neither do i dude πŸ˜€

  • πŸ˜€ I agree. I just wrote in my blog about some of my problems with the game too – check it out. – http://www.trashflavoredtrash.com

    I especially agree on the lane-changing thing. It’s like they’re all teenage Asian women on cell phones :D.

  • bokka1

    I hste the toll booths on the bridges.

  • Fudzy

    Who wrote this?

  • Fudzy

    I usually drive inbetween them.

  • ominater

    I’ve seen some valid points on other posts which would justify people not to like/buy the game. But these are riduloucly stupid. Youre angry because someone thinks you like a girl when you don’t? get over it. If you had some proper reasons why you didn’t like it then fair enough however this is the stupidest post Ive ever seen related to not liking gta.
    prick

  • gladious

    …and here’s one way to get attention in n4g:

    1- criticize something thats beyond awesomeness and be a smartass while doing it.

    happened before, and will.

  • @ominater, gladious

    This article was actually humorous, unlike most you’ll read at other similar sites like Sarcastic Gamer…

    I don’t mind reading a joke column when the writer actually has an understanding of written humor.

  • Ryan

    this was very clever and entertaining. Thanks :mrgreen:

  • James Francis

    I shouldn’t reply, but I will…

    Are you so stuck up your own ass that you can’t see when someone is making a joke about something?

    Actually, on second thought, you never even read the article, did you?

  • James Francis

    You didn’t read the article either… do people like these just type their English from a dictionary?

    Leave it to Lazlow: Go back to Jackfuckistan or wherever you’re from. :p

  • I’m a moron

    no one gives a **** what a south african has to say

    [edit] So someone writes a humorous article about a game you like and you decide it’s a good idea to insult an entire country?
    Are you special or something?

    I really do wonder about the fate of society with people like this

  • cesar

    GTA DONT SUCK ❗ ❗ ❗ ❗ :mrgreen:

  • cesar

    IT IS NOT TRUE 😈 😈 😈 😈 😈

  • Nick

    So you’re saying just because you didn’t know you could stab Goldberg, GTA sucks? That may have been nice to know yeah, but if you think that makes the game suck, you are ignorant.

  • Hey Hey, Who’s this Nick typing messages as Nick… Im Nick not you Nick. I need to change my nick to another nick cause it seems that this nick has the same nick as my nick, which is Nick. So for anyone as confused as I should be at this moment, that Nick above this message is not Nick from Lazygamer but a different Nick with the same nick as my nick, Nick.

    phew, glad to clear that up.

  • anthraxnapkin

    Why Dont You To Just Blow Eachother And Get It Over With:?:

  • LazySAGamer

    The authors name is at the top πŸ˜‰

    James Francis

  • oxxo

    dude you are wrong because you suck

  • Jim

    It’s not so much the lack of indication it seems to me that the NPC cars can’t even ‘see’ you. The amount of times I’ve been spun out by some muppet coming from the other direction not looking is unreal.

    Also one major flaw you missed is the ‘copy and paste’ effect when you get in a car. You finally find a SuperGT only to suddenly find hundreds of them driving about.

    Surely they could’ve implemented some kind of randomness to it. Like theere is a 5% chance of finding a SuperGT and a 2% chance of finding an Infernus etc etc etc.

  • Spiku

    Blooody funny man. enjoyed the read.

  • Hadlee Simons

    Awesome post man, so true πŸ˜€ and here’s a few more reasons:
    1) Why are the planes impervious to damage?! You’d expect a rocket launcher to do a great job but…alas
    2) Why can’t you watch the electric tit vids πŸ˜›

  • cwir

    this article is stupid and so are you.. you wanted some attention by giving it that title? you should call it “i moan about everything so here’s some moaning about GTA and why i don’t like this game yet still play it”.. stupid

  • john

    James Francis – U are a loser man!!! U call yrself a ‘hardcore’ GTA player?? My fucking ass, u aint SHITE!! U haven’t even finished the last three u twat!! Ofcourse no one told u, u can kill Goldberg with a knife (it’s called gaming intelligence). And if u dont like ‘TWEENS’ on multiplayer dont play it on the fucking xbox u dummie, it’s always full of little shits!! And as for Lazslow? He’s on ‘INTEGRITY’ radio u muppet!! Try actually PLAYING gta and not cheating, you may enjoy it more.

  • Yaany Fizzle

    I must admit i freaked out when i first started reading this article, no only did you say my favourite game ever made sucked but you also said you never actualy played the other ones properly.Then you mentioned going mach 5 and folk pulling out in front of you and i fell off my chair,hugely offensive in slating something very dear to me but funny enough that i dont mind….ace.As to the fool who commented on not being able to blow the planes,you play for 50 hours in the most immense virtual world ever seen and you find something as stupid as that to criticise??Your meant to be 18 to buy the game little boy!

  • SlippyMadFrog

    GTA IV fanboys? I would have never guessed.

    Anyway john, ever heard of humor and sarcasm? Maybe you should look it up before making an ass out of yourself.

  • SlippyMadFrog

    Actualy, getting attention from N4G is something you avoid since N4G is a steaming heap of cow dung.

  • cwir

    humor and sarcasm?? it wasn’t funny. i can see how the author tries to be but he’s not. if he wanted to make it ironic and humorous then the whole thing should be like that. not mix up actual cons of the game with some stupid meant-to-be-funny issues.. plus his “100% game save” attitude compared against his claiming to be harcore gta player… that’s really lame.

    plus only a poor joker has to explain that he was actually joking, like the author did to so many people here..

    nice try to get attention lazygamer.. too bad that only for once..

  • Lol, so folks I think we’ve just discovered a new strain of fanboy. So of like a Supersaturated deepfried fanboy – the GTA fanboy :p

    James’ article is pretty amusing, but the truth is he didn’t even touch any of the real issues with GTA4, it has some real issues. Give me a day or two…

  • SlippyMadFrog

    You GTA fanboys are even worse than the console fanboys

  • SlippyMadFrog

    Watch out Doobs! These GTA fanboys have been playing GTA IV for an unhealthy amount of time. Their grasp on reality is slipping. You don’t know what they are capable of since GTA is a murder simulator. :mrgreen:

  • James Francis

    True, GTA IV has some real things to complain about. So did Gears of War (c’mon, the chainsaw is sluggish and easily interrupted), Halo 3 (retread, retread, retread), Bioshock (All style,no real substance; the twist was the only really clever thing in the plot), Ratchet & Clank (the PS3 version pretty much is a PS2 game), Vegas 2 (Retread), Assassin’s Creed (shoddy handling of a sandbox world, specifically after you finish the game) and so on.

    It doesn’t matter. I firmly believe most game reviews are read by people to see if the reviewer got/missed their own ‘brilliant’ observations. Reviewing is gaming’s version of a circle jerk.

    P.S. Meanwhile, games like Uncharted don’t sell nearly as well as they could, while fun and shallow games like Stronglehold get critically devastated for not being original (never mind that you might as well berate Schwarzenegger for never doing Shakespeare).

  • cwir

    how am i a fanboy? where did you get it from my comment? i know GTA 4 has some flaws and stuff missing, but most of these mentioned here are just stupid. and the irony is bad. i’m commenting on a bad article, not defending the game.

  • SlippyMadFrog

    Whatever you say cwir πŸ˜‰

  • cwir

    yeah.. you got me with this one.. see ya.

  • Romeo, Oh Romeo, where for art thou Romeo. *CRASH* Ju-li-et I am he-ere to save you, get down on the floo-er they are tru-ying to ki-eel you.

    I’ll be back.

  • LazySAGamer

    😯 you didn’t say something bad about stranglehold did you….. that is unacceptable…. easily my most enjoyed game last year..

    Oh and reading these comments is awesome, I never knew you got a GTA fanclub…

  • LazySAGamer

    πŸ™„ oh wow… someone missed the boat in a big way πŸ™„

  • Okay, I’ll throw a real cat amongst the pigeons. While GTA4 has an amazing well crafted story, an amazing City and is a great cinematic experience…Crackdown, while totally without narrative and not as visually impressive, is a better game, ie has more engaging gameplay, and is more fun.

  • James Francis

    It was a great game, but I still feel Crackdown’s mobility was jut a glorified take on what the character in San Andreas could do. If they took things a little further, such as allowing you to shoot while hanging from a ledge, I’d have been happier.

    O, an also only two-player co-op. The game needed four!

  • Multiplayer in Crackdown could have been awesome. Imagine 4v4 capture the flag in Crackdown! I can’t comment on SA I’m afraid, I come to GTA as a noob at #4, I just never go into the others. 😳

  • TheFireBoy

    This game Is AWESOME….

    Well it was for the 1st 15 hours
    then it gets boring, repetitive and there are no fun cheats

  • The only thing that’s making “late game” less fun for me is that RPG rounds are so expensive…. πŸ˜›

  • mrP

    fighting is easy unless you get ganged up on by more than 3 people
    if ur sick of phone calls put ur phone on sleep mode
    in my opinion ur list is bullshit there is many more real problems with the game such as
    you cant buy property or invest your money into anything worthwhile, this was my biggest problem, niko has no ambition, hes content being a wheelman forever? where the fuck is the mansion they talk about? why cant i take over romans cab business, or buy the fair ground on the boardwalk?
    there is a serious lack of weapons compared to the others, i was looking forward to runnin down the street with a samurai sword decapitating people or the always reliable chainsaw
    so many things they had in the other games they left out of this one for some reason?

    still a fun game

  • Tarryn

    It’s like an international convention of morons in here.

  • Wow. I just read through all the posts on N4G and some people seriously have issues…

    I don’t understand how people firstly don’t understand James’ intent and secondly, go batshit crazy.

    I think we should add a banner on the top of articles like these that say ” literacy required” and then add a sound clip that will read it out load for all the people that like to complain without actually reading anything properly…

    • Dakan45

      Sure having an uggly imigrant character that cant even speak properly is so much more fun than making your own in saints row.

      Having garbage like “hey wana go bowling” instead of GOOD missions like the previous gta games including the psp ones is so much fun.

      Having vehicles that will slide for 100 meters instead of braking is so much fun,didnt bother with any races.

      Having a cheap ass cover system and bad weapon mechanics is so much fun.

      Doing the same crappy driving missions with occasional coverbased shooting. Is so much fun.

      Dont dare put any rc races or pizza delivery missions, instead you go watch tv and check your inbox.

      Too borring? Here have a couple of dates with pathetic friends and uggly skunks

      Planes? whats that? We have no idea what that is.

      The only mission that was “fun” was the last one and story wise the game was freakign horrible.

  • it is true.

  • Vamp

    Wow, there are a couple of people posting here that the politicians would dearly love to point out as not being able
    to know the difference between fiction and reality. Would make a great case for their “Video games causes violence” campaign.
    Morons!

  • Heh heh, you just need to add a spelling check for “colour centre” πŸ˜‰

    doobiwan’s last blog post..The Games that made the consoles

  • m00k

    Theyre not reasons, theyre opinions.

    I tell you, thats the worst thing about the internet… people confuse their own opinion for fact and then try and convince everyone else it’s fact.

  • And the fact that people who don’t understand satire are satirical themselves, is quite hysterical.

    doobiwan’s last blog post..The Games that made the consoles

  • Niko

    You forgot the number one reason GTA4 sucks, I havent got a decent nights sleep in over a week!

    I actually didnt mind shooting my way out of the Lawyers office, infact I wasted everyone in there with extreme prejudice and reloaded the game to do it again and again and… πŸ™‚

    Heh and forget about people not signaling, how about those right turns from the left lane, good lesson there about passing on the inside lane though.

    I do miss the parachute, so many great base jumping spots in Liberty.

  • CHEY A HUH YEYEYEYEYEYE

    CVVCCVXCVVVCVV

  • U r a Bitch

    becuz u r gay

  • U r a Bitch

    u got that right

  • U r a Bitch

    yep this guy is so totally right

  • U r a Bitch

    not

  • U r a Bitch

    stop being racist u fuckwit

  • U r a Bitch

    u r gay

  • U r a Bitch

    im with this guy GTA rules!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!gta game sucks shit

  • U r a Bitch

    whoops

  • U r a Bitch

    aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

  • mr.guy

    dude, downloading a 100% save doesn’t make you an expert on GTA (unless you were being sarcastic)

    I agree with you on everything else though, packie’s sister is ugly as shit

  • Next time you are about to press the ‘Say it!’ button, read your comment aloud, and listen to every word you are saying.
    That’s right, you’re an imbecile!

  • And exactly how is that racist again?

  • His list is indeed bullshit, ofcourse it is, it’s ment to be funny.
    Anyway i have to agree with you. After you’re finished with Gta you’re running around stinkin’ rich and you have nothing to do with all that cash other then buying weapons really.
    They should have done the same as in GTA VC Stories, where you can buy property to make even more money.
    Still a great game though

  • (he was being sarcastic)

  • :cheerful:
    GTA IV Cops are biggest problems I have.

    Some missions are ruined by those stinkin’ cops.

    Even going out for a Sunday drive.
    I like snagging a bus, armored truck or something big and happily drive and plow through traffic and over people is fun for a while then cops show up and ruin my swath of joyjoy-destruction.:angry:

    Driving MACH 5, then clipping into somebody and rolling my ride several times over while on a date is f’ing fantastic! Its after the fun, the red glowing orb of light appears and every regular person changes into Agent Smith to come after my ass.

    I dont mind dates, in fact Kiki is my favorite, wouldnt that would be cool if she went totally pyscho and there was a mission where she would try to kill me and one of my other dates. It would end if I shoot her via excution style or Kiki lives and shoots my date excution style..that’d be awesome. But then I bet after that mission, friggin cops show up in a six star level and I would have to hurry and get to my hidey-hole..:ninja:

  • mhmh

    not impossible

  • idiots

    so technically what ur saying is cuz gta iv is more realistic its bad?

  • john

    Nice little article, but you’ve missed some MAJOR problems as well. Like an incomplete story, same shitty sows whatever club u go to (unlike GTA:VCS where u can pay to see Phil Collins in concert, where was that in GTAIV?) And so many more things that should have been in there but I dont have time to get into. GTA Vice city and San Andreas are better games!!

  • JP

    That is because the tweens do not understand sarcasm.(no offense intended to players of a certain age group…just the little bitchy ones)

    They should stop playing M rated games and read a book.

  • JP

    If I’m running down the street and accidently bump into you and you say something stupid I will shoot you.

    The comments NPC’s make are too repetitive.

    The melee combat is so unresponsive and slow. I got my ass handed to me trying to melee ol’ fashion style fistcuffs …from now on I kill everyone!

  • JP

    … but I’m still playing :devil:

  • TigerKatsune

    I find it extremely hilarious that a good 85% of people on this post have no idea that the author is making a joke…it makes mi laugh more when they get pissed and try to flame him because they dont get it…

    and those problems on gta bug mi as well :getlost:
    i mean really, Im going 90 down a bridge in on a freeway then some jerka** pulls out infront of mi & skyrockets mi through the air. It always happens after I get all the weapons i want too. :angry:

    • Aaron

      Too bad you don’t lose your weapons when you die.
      do you even know what game is being discussed?

  • Rjim,a

    :getlost: :face: :cheerful: :heart: :happy: :pirate: :pirate: :wassat: :w00t: :tongue: :silly: :cheerful: :sideways: :sick: :shocked: πŸ™ :alien: :angel: :angry: :blush: :cwy: :devil: :dizzy: :getlost: :pinch: :ninja: πŸ˜† :kissing: :getlost: :dizzy: :wub: :unsure: πŸ™‚ :sideways:

  • Bellie

    GTA games always have something extremely annoying. In Vice City it was that stupid ‘demolition man’ mission, in GTA4 it is the last mission existing of three missions. No save game in between, no.

    Just drive around the whole *** town for the n-th time. Shoot those *** sitting ducks for the n-th time. Run for a *** bike for the n-th time. Drive up a *** ramp for the n-th time. Mission failed for the n-th time. “Better luck next time player, if you have another hour left! Maybe next time!”

    Forget about the last mission that won’t bring you anything? Just drive around? Nope. You will get bugged and bugged and bugged to come over to play your final mission. So GTA-IV is back in its box for several months now.

  • Phize

    THE REAL REASONS WHY THE GAME SUCKED

    It took 5 steps fowards and 10 steps back

    The graphics, the physics are second to none. HOWEVER:

    You cant customize cloths or your body

    There is no planes, tanks and you only get ONE epic sports car in one of the missions.

    NO jet pack or parachute

    You have no skills to level up such as being able to use two pistols at once

    There ARE NO GANGS, you cant gets a mad posse happening the most you get are dwaynes “boys” and we all know they suck major cawk

    The houses you get, lets face it, they suck. They dont match up to previous games. You cant own business either

    You get alot of money and nothing to spend it on

    Half the reasons for the game sucking written above are NOTHING

    you missed out on pointing out osme serious things which are missing in the games.

  • Ace

    Dude, you are a Douche Bag, First the titling of every issue you have with the game is retarded, Second your rants are trivial and not to the point of playing the game, and third, if you haven’t noticed, the game is way graphically better than the others, as far as i am concerned, you sound like a a Bag O’ Douche.

    BTW the lawyer mission is simple, kill the guy, shoot out the window, and jump out. Steal a car, loose the cops, and you’re done.

    In regards to the rant about tweens/teens playing Multiplayer… FIFO, Fit In Or Fuck Off

    This post may be 2 years old, but just to see some douche bag bash the game just because of the smallest infractions, pisses me off.

    Don’t like it, don’t play it.

    • Bob Dole

      I’m only 30 and I’ve completely stopped playing online because I got sick of the rancid insipid tween age talk. I think this new generation needs to get the hell out of our games that we grew up with, designed, brought to popularity, and yes, we’re sick of you foul mouthed little nim wits coming in by the thousands and ruining what could have been a great game.
      FFS the game would have been PC first and had another 12 months of development had it not been for whiny bitch shits like yourself complaining and spamming rockstar (who could have been working on the game instead of dealing with you shit heads) to release sooner.
      I literally fucking hate young gamers, and casuals, they have turned the gaming industry into a big pile of fucking shit.

  • not a very article , unless i missed the sarcasim so where , anyways gta rules guys , these issues u bring up are minnor and pointless , witch is the point of the artilce no?

  • fudouche

    no doubt, it does suck, but for serious reasons, not all the wannabe humorous stuff u posted here…

  • Means

    GTA 4 sucks because:

    (1) Graphically, when I play it on maxed out settings, it has graphics which are far worse than Left 4 Dead 2 or even Half Life 2, yet it has vastly worse framerates than a game like Battlefield: Bad Company 2, which runs at 40-60 FPS for me at graphics which are 10 times better when maxed out. Graphics are also glitchy, having strange visual artifacts and horrible view distances, low resolution textures etc, yet place a tremendous load on video RAM.

    (2) You can go around blowing up things and stirring up mayhem in the city, but that is all to it. Knocking down people, blowing up cars, rob some shops, shooting cops then die yourself after being surrounded by cops. I can get 10 times that in Modern Warfare 2 or Bad Company 2 where I can drive real tanks and helicopters to blow up real enemies, entire buildings, call in airstrikes, snipe, heal and support my teammates, have a sense of camaradarie etc. Plus all the big explosions in real FPS games.

    (3)Interaction sucks. No scripted events other than the missions. Even the custom maps in Warcraft 3: Frozen Throne like Reallifeformorons, or a Peasants’ Life have more interaction with people. Once you have played The Sims 3, the absolute lack of interaction makes it placid and totally prozaic.

    (4) Frustrating missions. You can try some missions 10 times over and fail it, and there are no cheats to skip missions to get to the good parts. Some missions also seem to deliberately make u kill 100 people, only to walk into an explosive can and kill you (like the one where Roman got robbed … there are unconspicuous barrels that explode without any warning when you approach them).

    (5)Lack of depth. Let’s see. Driving. If I wanted driving, I will play Dirt 2 instead. Shooting. MW2, BFBC2, HL2, TF2, L4D1 and 2, CS:S. Interaction. Sims 3. Buying real stuff or property. Simcity 4, Civilization 4. Explore. World of Warcraft. Strategy. RA3, the upcoming Starcraft 2 or Supreme Commander 2. The game itself lacks substance after you have played it for a while, since there are always better substitutes that you can find in every genre or aspect that it aims to please.

    (6) Others: Non-linear gameplay can be good, but when it is way too non-linear, coupled with the other reasons as mentioned above and the lack of scripted events, the gameplay seems anemic when you try to veer off course into the realm of roleplaying. Sure you can try hanging out with buddies, destroying stuff and do some exploring, but the total lack of “special triggered events” or “special effects” that you can trigger out of a mission, or buy houses, get married etc totally makes non-linear gameplay just shades of black and white.

  • Tyrone

    Gta iv sucks my reasons
    no underwater swimming
    too much police attetion
    no gas tank on car(laughs at realism claims)
    no airplanes
    no bullet holes in people(which isnt realism)
    no buying airplane tickets to other cities like in san andreas
    lame clothing selection

  • HWV

    I agree with Tyrone on the sense that they claim the game has much realism, yet no gas tanks on the vehicles & you cannot swim underwater.

    Though i did laugh at the sarcastic virtue of this article. “Jesus Packie, I DON’T LIKE YOUR SISTER!!!” Agreed with that the most. :happy:

  • Tyrone

    and why no jetpacks on this game?

  • FreddJ

    Tis game sucks!

  • Aaron

    These have to be THE 10 worst reasons to dislike anything. Whoever wrote this article needs to learn our language. I don’t understand your wordy ass lingo that’s supposed to have a lot of big words and sound all smart. Next, if your a 45 year old prick living in your moms basement than no shit everyone playing the game will be half your age, its made for 17+ year olds, we should be complaining about the old ass losers twice our age clogging up the online while they should have a job and not be playing grand theft auto on their xbox. Obviously the radio repeats itself continuously, do you honestly expect to see lazlo running around doing the same shit five times every day. If there’s one thing I agree, its that niko should be able to whoop some ass. The controls for this game are pathetic and we expect much more from a game with such expectations. The ‘y’ button only does one thing. Either get in a car, or get in a car. So why does niko run around in circles like a pansey when I push ‘y’ how can a character controlled by me do the wrong action when I push the right button.

    • castingcouch

      *you’re not your

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