I’ve got no shortage of Transformers toys, which are bound by one common factor: I need to use my stupid meat-hands to transform them from vehicle into kickass robot mode whenever I feel like posing them. If only there was some way, for an incredibly lazy yet astonishingly handsome writer to have an Optimus Prime on his desk that could roll out and transform without me needing to molest its various plastic parts with my ham-fisted appendages.
Hasbro, has finally heard my prayers and is ready to answer them. Provided that I pay $700 for salvation, that is.
Revealed at Hasbro Pulse, the Optimus Prime Auto-Converting Programmable Advanced Robot from toy robotics wizards Robosen doesn’t just transform within seconds into the almighty Autobot leader, it does via voice commands. Simply say “transform” and within moments it’ll switch from Optimus’ default truck mode and into a Cybertronian warrior who looks like he’s about ready to kick Megatron’s circuits.
Here’s a video from CNET on it. I’d have used the Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes video, but then I remembered just how justifiably angry I still am after I lost two hours of my life to Jay and Silent Bob Reboot.
Even better, this toy an do other stuff as well. Use any of the other voice commands, and he’ll start throwing a good ol’ one-two of straight punches, strike a pose, and even roll forward in truck mode. If that’s not enough, Optimus can even be remote-controlled via a smartphone app. The future is here, it’s gorgeous and it is expensive. And yes, he does transform back into his truck mode.
The best thing about all of this? That he has an internal battery that you can charge, instead of needing to spend the GDP of a small European nation on spare AA batteries. Optimus is a big boy as well, and he measures in at a chunky 19 inches in height. Plus he comes with his ion blaster, energon battle-axe, and a travel case. What kind of Transformers fanatic would spend this much money on a novelty toy? Probably the same kind of person who’s currently paying off on a $500 diecast metal replica of Optimus based on his appearance in the Bumblebee movie.
It’s me, I’m that guy. Medical aids are for chumps who clearly aren’t immortal, like non-Queen members of the Royal Family.
Last Updated: April 12, 2021