Red Sonja is still a she-devil with a sword

2 min read

Red Sonja (15)

I’ll never get fantasy armour for ladies. This is me trying to properly examine the idea, that only the stuff that you’re not allowed to see outside of an R-rated movie should be protected by chainmail. Naturally, that’s led me to assume that the mid-riff must generate some form of magical shielding, that renders all arrows, swords, daggers and lances completely ineffectual.

And obviously, obviously the more exposed the mid-riff, the greater the effect. It kind of stacks and buffs itself, the more flesh a fantasy female character shows. It’s the only logical explanation for armour that can barely protect you from a cold breeze, let alone a gang of miscreants brandishing all manner of pointed sticks.

That’s when you release the tiger. Or call in for some help from the most notorious she-devil around, Red Sonja.

Wandering adventurer, savage barbarian, the greatest swordswoman of the Hyborian Age; Sideshow is proud to introduce Red Sonja – the She-Devil with a Sword!

Since her fearless debut in 1973, Red Sonja has redefined the fantasy genre with her fiery temper and ferocious ability to best any man or beast in combat. The confident crimson-haired heroine requires little protection in her travels, her sleek muscular body clad in sparse scale mail, ornate cuffs and pauldrons, and thick leather boots and gloves.

Her face a mask of fierce determination and smoldering pride, Red Sonja cleaves her way through the fresh glistening carcass of a monstrous serpent, her twin blades drenched in the blood spilled just moments before.

Sideshow says that this replica will clock in at 20 inches of height, or just under 51cm. An exclusive version of the warrior chucks in an extra weapon, a massive battle axe to swap her sword out for. You might need to sell some Hyborean steal to afford her though, as Red Sonja is priced at $549.99.

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Last Updated: November 12, 2015

Darryn Bonthuys

Something wrong gentlemen? You come here prepared to read the words of a madman, and instead found a lunatic obsessed with comics, Batman and Raul Julia's M Bison performance in the 1994 Street Fighter movie? Fine! Keep your bio! In fact, now might be a good time to pray to it!

  • justlikemo

    Mudder f ffff me, well she can pin me down any day, without the knife and cleaver thing!
    Only if she were real, I’d buy her a drink at that price.

  • If anyone has an issue with her “armour” just remember she comes from the same world as Croman.

  • Alien Emperor Trevor

    Damn you unfavourable currency symbol!

  • Hammersteyn

    I left my wallet in 1993

  • Dutch Matrix

    I don’t have to eat that month…

  • CypherGate

    Geeeeees how on earth can she fight with such little clothing. Its like it would flap everywhere and expose her nibbly bits. Most probably a way to distract them.

    • RustedFaith

      Armor is for scrubs 😛 Look at Conan he wore dodgy pair of fur shorts and fur boots and still kicks ass “)

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