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Spartan Batman (6)

I’ve seen all manner of Batman in my life. Like a runaway Todd MacFarlane catalogue for Spawn toys, I’ve seen Cowboy Batman, Future Batman, Puritan Batman, Caveman Batman and GamerGate Batman (MY ETHICS ARE DEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAD!).

But what about Spartan Batman? Well ready your eyes for a meal of note, because tonight, we dine in hell!

Here’s the latest Batman from Square Enix and their Play Arts Kai range, which reimagines the Dark Knight as a Spartan. And a proper one as well, wearing more than just a bullet-proof leather thong:

Unveiled at the Tokyo Game Show, Batman Timeless Spartan Batman Play Arts Kai is scheduled for release in March 2016. He’ll run you around $150, and comes with a spear, a long sword, four daggers, a shield and a figure stand. I like it! It’s a rad figure and a cool design that doesn’t go too far overboard.

Naturally, I want to cosplay the crap out of this, so you’ll have to pardon me while I go enrol in a Spartan training program. First lesson: Getting your leather thong to sit just right. Don’t worry coach, I brought my own!

Last Updated: October 5, 2015


  1. RinceThis

    October 5, 2015 at 21:39

    But, Spartans didn’t believe in hell…


  2. Grand Admiral Chief

    October 6, 2015 at 07:01

    Damn that is awesome!


  3. Kromas untamed

    October 6, 2015 at 07:22

    That was the worst “This is Sparta” pun ever!!!

    Try again please. 🙂


  4. JP

    October 6, 2015 at 07:49

    Hang on. I thought Batman did not kill. I hate to be the guy on the receiving end of that spear.
    Also no. What’s next? Batman of the Playboy mansion with his red sleeping gown, puffing on a pipe and trying desperately to convince us that the two twenty year old girls are in love with his wrinkly old ass?


    • Matthew Holliday

      October 6, 2015 at 10:23

      batman has no qualms about killing monsters and aliens.

      iive seen him pick up massive battle axes and spears and completely wreck the shit out of Darkseids monster army.

      he has mastered pretty much every weapon out there.



      • JP

        October 6, 2015 at 10:31

        Yes. Okay. You win! Still don’t like the Spartman idea (Thanks to @illuchnemancera:disqus for coining the phrase…)


        • Matthew Holliday

          October 6, 2015 at 11:01

          i like the alternate world batman ideas, hes had a few cool ones over the years.
          its not a 150$ kind of cool, but still.


          • JP

            October 6, 2015 at 11:09

            I guess I am maybe a bit too purist-y to appreciate it.

          • Matthew Holliday

            October 6, 2015 at 11:14

            to be fair, old man Bruce Wayne from Batman Beyond or Dark Knight Returns comic, totally deserves to live the rest of his life in a satin gown, getting his just rewards.
            totally believable.

  5. VampyreSquirrel

    October 6, 2015 at 08:00



    • HairyEwok

      October 6, 2015 at 09:00

      Please I see spartmen everyday when I go buy my groceries at spar, they look nothing like this guy.


      • VampyreSquirrel

        October 6, 2015 at 09:14

        hahahaha, I did not see that response coming… well played.


  6. SargonTheRebornBatpanda

    October 6, 2015 at 11:45

    Helm doesn’t appear to be in the classical corinthian styles? PROPER, you said?!


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