Casting Couch – PREACHER

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Right now, I’m cradling my Preacher comics in the anticipation that that cult property will finally get the live action treatment that it deserves. Production is underway right now on the pilot, and you can be sure that the AMC netowrk has picked some great actors to fill the lead roles.

But of course, it wouldn’t hurt to take a gander at our dream list of actors for that potential series, now would it?

James Marsden as Jesse Custer

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True story: Marsden has been a name linked to Preacher ever since studios wanted to adapt the comics to film. Years later, he’s older, wiser and more seasoned as an actor, traits which could help him sell the character of Jesse Custer, a preacher searching for God in order to bring him to account for abandoning his creation. Throw some stubble on him and a preacher collar, and we’ve got a man that could easily lead the series and make it a prime time hit.

Julie Benz as Tulip O’Hare

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What makes Tulip such a great character is that no matter what happens to her in the comics, from almost being murdered through to finding herself ina downward spiral of booze and drugs, is that she always comes back stronger than before. She’s an honest, straight-thinking and hard shooter of a character, all points which perfectly sum up the work that made Julie Benz so popular on Dexter.

Michael Fassbender  as Cassidy

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The important thing to remember about Cassidy, is that despite the fact that he can be your best friend and a good man to have at your side in a fight, he can also be a right bastard. And that’s a role that Michael “Prometheus” Fassbender can pull of with style, grace and skill, adding some class to the tale of the Irish vampire and best friend of Custer.

Ian McShane as the Saint of Killers

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The Saint of Killers is an unstoppable act of God. Cold, remorseless and unrelenting in his pursuit of Jesse Custer, the Saint can take on an army and emerge unscathed. And what better way to portray an ornery sonavabitch than to cast Ian “Deadwood” McShane in the saddle, slapping leather and taking no prisoners?

Christoph Waltz as Herr Starr

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If you’re going to get a German to portray the sociopathic military man who happens to be the real power behind the might Grail organisation, then get the best. Waltz has proven that he can effortlessly occupy the role of a charismatic Nazi officer in Inglorious Bastards, stealing all the scenes in that film.

Now shave that head, and have him suffer humility after humility to turn him into a real one-eyed monster, and you’d have another winning performance to help bolster the series and its credibility.

Justin Bieber as Arseface

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At least the studio will save a ton on make-up, when it comes to casting the Bieb as a failed Nirvana fan who couldn’t even end his own life properly and doomed himself to a visage that’d make you up-chuck your food if you ever saw him eat.

Kevin Durand as Jody

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For the role of Jody, you’re going to need someone who is downright homicidal, imposing and carries a quiet authority that can be backed up at a moments notice by either fists or guns. Frankly, if that doesn’t spell out Kevin “Lost” Durand as the surrogate father of Jesse Custer, then I don’t know who else could handle such a quietly intense role.

Judi Dench as Marie L’Angelle

Judi Dench

Hateful, filled with spite and confident that she is carrying out the work of the lord, no matter how many people she has to kill in the process is one way to describe the blood grandmother of Jesse Custer. One of the most evil characters to ever grace a comic book character, you’d need an actress who can sum up decades of hate and bile, and that’s where the experienced Judi Dench comes in. It’s the kind of role that is a massive departure from her usual acting gigs, but she’s got the screen and stage presence to pull it off.

Lourens and Nick as Bob Glover and Freddy Allen, sexual investigators

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When you need something buggered and drugs delivered, you can call on Lourens and Nick to fill that niche need for you. Or alternatively, you can give our two writers their Hollywood break, and let them bring all that sordid experience to the big screen as the comical duo of sexual investigators.

 

 

Last Updated: November 19, 2013

Darryn Bonthuys

Something wrong gentlemen? You come here prepared to read the words of a madman, and instead found a lunatic obsessed with comics, Batman and Raul Julia's M Bison performance in the 1994 Street Fighter movie? Fine! Keep your bio! In fact, now might be a good time to pray to it!

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