Friday Fight Club – Battle of the droids

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Back, for one day only and by unpopular demand! We’ve seen sorcerers go toe to toe, witnessed politically incorrect battles that ensured us a seat in hell when we eventually kick the bucket and have bought ringside tickets to see  the greatest one-trick ponies in the film industry scrape through a fight!

But today, we’re pitting machine against machine in glorious combat! Two shall enter, one shall walk away once the CGI crews are finished rendering! It’s R2D2 vs Johhny 5!

R2D2

The little astromech droid that could, R2D2 is pretty much as much a part of Star Wars as the force and Darth Vader’s leather clothing. If it wasn’t for ol’ R2, the Rebel Alliance would have been throwing Bothan spies into suicide missions for years on end, as the small droid helped save the day on numerous occasions.

And with an aresnal that allowed him to zap his way out of danger or overcome some dreaded stairs, he was an unstoppable force of midget powered action and intellect. Pity that he could only communicate in bleeps though.

Johnny 5

Behold, the pinnacle of human robotics technology…circa 1986. A fast-learning, fast talking automaton who don’t take no sass, Johnny 5 was meant to be the living nemesis to those damn Cold War Ruskies. A bolt of lightning later, some quick perving and Johnny 5 emerged as a quick-thinking robot who understood mortality.

Armed with the blistering speed of a mini-scooter, the strength of two men and a weakness against stairs, Johnny 5 is also practically immune to death, due to a strange Hollywood fascination that won’t let him die for good.

 

So which droid do you reckon is more machine than moron? Who has what it takes to splash around in the engine oil of its rival? You decide!

Last Updated: March 8, 2013

Darryn Bonthuys

Word-slinger at Critical Hit. Inventor of the macho Swiss gym chocolate known as Testoblerone. That's...that's about it really.

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