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Friday Fight Club – Loose Cannon cop out!

2 min read

Cops, the thin blue line that protects and swerves past us. But what would happen when two legendary police officers go head to head, ignoring that gut feeling of theirs in order to dispense some instant justice?

We’ve got two loose cannons lined up today, two blue-collar law enforcers who deal out justice one well placed bullet and quip at a time. 

John McClane

If there’s one thing that John McClane can survive, it’s an extraordinarily bad Christmas day. With the fortitude of a cockroach on steroids, McClane has beaten the worst that world has thrown at him.

German super-thieves, rogue paramilitary groups, German super-thieves again and computer hackers. And for a regular Joe, he’s surprisingly creative when it comes to killing anyone in his way.

Make no mistake, the amount of punishment that his opponent, Riggs can stand is legendary, but when a pissed off Bruce Willis decides that he has had enough of your three stooges shenanigans, you can say goodbye to your mullet.

Don’t be too surprised if McClane launches a flaming car at Riggs, then crushes that with an exploding aircraft before throwing the poor sod off of a building, while rubbing salt in his wounds with a pithy one liner and some cigarette smoke.

Because unlike Riggs, McClane is never too old for this bantha poo-doo.


Martin Riggs

He’s an ex-Vietnam special forces assassin who dislocates his shoulders out of their sockets just for a laugh. The words “stable” and “Martin Riggs” simply cannot exist together in a sentence, unless it’s this one.

Packing a hand-bazooka and a lion’s mane of manly hair that would make any barefoot and balding cop insanely jealous, Riggs is the ultimate loose cannon. The only thing crazier than the destruction he’s capable of, is the look in his eye as he feeds you your own white vest.

He also never breaks, no matter what you throw at him. Electrocution? Uses it to limber up. Insane Gary Busey? Now lawn fertilizer. South African drug dealers hiding behind “Deeplohmahtic Imooneety”? Visas revoked faster than a speeding bullet to the face. Hell, even Jet Li’s spider-monkey kung fu couldn’t stop Riggs from turning him into a Sichuan kebab.

And while some layabout cops only really work on the holidays, Riggs is all badass all the time. He’s not old, he’s a just a specially matured brand of crazy.


Last Updated: June 22, 2012


  1. James Francis

    June 22, 2012 at 14:44

    You two are kidding, right? This can’t be anything but a draw.


    • Justin Hess

      June 22, 2012 at 15:09

      Nope, sorry. It might be a tight contest but I think Riggs will take it. At least Riggs in the original Lethal Weapon, not the increasingly watered-down versions we had in the sequels.

      Riggs is

      a) a trained killer, who, in his own words, “did a guy in Laos from a thousand yards out. It was a rifle shot in high wind. Maybe eight or even ten guys in the world could have made that shot. It’s the only thing I was ever good at.”

      b) He’s also a fucking lunatic, a psychopath

      c) he’s a bastard. So is McClane to some degree, but not as much as Riggs


      • James Francis

        June 22, 2012 at 16:28

        McClaine can kill

        a) a helicopter with a car
        b) an airliner with a Zippo.
        c) a man with a single punch (referring, of course, to Die Hard 2.5: The Last Boyscout)


        • Justin Hess

          June 22, 2012 at 16:44

          Agreed there, but Riggs strikes me as more skilled, more ruthless and more insane.

          Also, more hair


          • James Francis

            June 22, 2012 at 17:21

            McClain threw a wizard from a rooftop. Voldemort couldn’t even do that.

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