Friday Fight Club – Sexy Science-Fiction Smack Down

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Today we’re pitting two sci-fi leading ladies head to attractive head in a battle to the death! Or until we’re out of snacks, whichever comes first.

While both these young ladies may only possess the interpersonal skills of a bipolar dachshund, when it comes to kicking in heads and busting up faces, they simply have no peer. So sit back, relax and get ready for some mayhem. But before you do, please pass the popcorn.

Leeloo (The Fifth Element)

Well, we are kicking off this Fight Club with the clear winner, in my opinion. Leeloo, as she is called by her abbreviated name, is the perfect weapon…the perfect everything, in fact. Her interests include eating loads of microwave food, falling in love with a meat popsicle that looks like Bruce Willis and oh…wait…that’s right, defeating a great evil every 5,000 years that threatens the entire universe. So yes, she is remarkably badass. She also enjoys punching Mangalores in the forehead while listening to funky space-opera music and foiling the plans of Gary Oldman.

As if that isn’t enough, we know she’s quite the fashionista, making sure she is always clad in the latest Jean-Paul Gaultier fashion from the future. Kicking ass has never looked this good. Needless to say, she’ll wipe the floor with anyone that dares oppose her, especially a burnout psychic teenager that usually only punches her own friends.

-Lourens

River Tam (Firefly/Serenity)

The last person to be some kind of Fifth Element was that useless Indian kid with the “heart” powers in Captain Planet, and he would probably have stood a better chance than Leeloo Dallas at defeating River Tam. Leeloo is an easily distracted kitten, whereas River is an extremely deadly killer.

A vicious hand to hand combatant, proficient with just about every weapon she lays her hands on, she also employs the type of stealthy deadliness that would turn ninjas green (Out of jealousy, not the American Ninja type of green). And lets not forget that one other little fact: she can kill you with her brain. That’s right, limbs are not the only things in her arsenal, she also possesses prodigious mental abilities meaning that she she knows what you’re going to do, even before you do.

And right now, she’s seeing nothing but pain in poor Leeloo’s head. And probably the rest of her body too.

-Kervyn

Last Updated: October 19, 2012

Kervyn Cloete

A man of many passions - but very little sleep - I've been geeking out over movies, video games, comics, books, anime, TV series and lemon meringues as far back as I can remember. So show up for the geeky insight, stay for the delicious pastries.

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