It would appear that this is the week for tarnishing the memories of your once-great martial arts action heroes. A few days ago we had to cringe our way through the trailer for the
worst hair dye commercial ever absolutely awful looking Steven Seagal flick Contract to Kill. In that article, I mentioned Jackie Chan and how and some of the other veteran action heroes from yesteryear were not embarrassing themselves like Seagal is doing. Alas, I now have to take back those words.
Besides for the fact that I managed to watch Skiptrace recently (you’ll get the full review next week, but spoiler alert: it’s definitely not good), I then also stumbled across this trailer for Kung Fu Yoga yesterday (via Screencrush). And before you pale in horror at the memory of gymkata, worry not, this is not some kind of crazy specialized martial arts nonsense. No, this appears to just be nonsense of the plain variety.
Hilariously bad CGI, poor dialogue, crazy story involving treasure hunters after… something, and a 62-year old Jackie Chan that sadly is now rapidly starting to look his age (they make him just jumping though a luggage trolley out to be some great highlight when even I can do that), it’s all here. And it makes me very sad.
It’s okay, Jackie. We’ll always have Drunken Master II, Armour of God, Meals on Wheels, Snake In the Eagle’s Shadow, Police Story and so many other bona fide classics.
Kung Fu Yoga hits Chinese theaters on January 28, but doesn’t have an international release date yet.
Last Updated: November 11, 2016