Home Entertainment Midweek Movie Mouth-Off: what only ever happens in movies?

Midweek Movie Mouth-Off: what only ever happens in movies?

1 min read
29

Midweek-Movie-Mouth-Off-750px

Have you ever noticed that, despite what is no doubt your best effort, your life never seems to resemble a movie? Besides for the obvious lack of montages, that is. No matter how realistic a movie is, there are always little details that seem to only ever happen on the silver screen. It’s like they exist in a world of their own, where duvets are L shaped to cover a woman’s chest but not a man’s, and no one ever says goodbye on the phone.

One of the little details that really gets me is that no one ever seems to lock their cars. Maybe that’s just my hyper-sensitive awareness from living in Johannesburg my whole life, but seriously, don’t cars ever get stolen? I actually had a theory about this when I was younger, characters never lock their cars because they’re on a movie set, and security would stop them. Pretty logical, I thought.

From never using a mouse when “hacking” a computer to drinking from empty cups, what else have you noticed only ever happens on the silver screen?

The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Critical Hit as an organisation.

Last Updated: June 8, 2016

29 Comments

  1. Hugh Lashbrooke

    June 8, 2016 at 10:53

    One thing I first noticed years ago and has annoyed me ever since, is that whenever someone knocks on the door of a house, they only ever wait about 1.5 seconds without a reply before assuming that no one’s home. A fact that apparently gives them permission to go snooping through all the windows and jumping over the wall. I get that the movie can’t just be full of scenes of people waiting outside closed doors, so it makes sense for the flow of a story, but that doesn’t mean it’s not going to bug me.

    Reply

    • Tracy Benson

      June 8, 2016 at 11:53

      He didn’t come to the door in three seconds… THERE’S SOMETHING WRONG!!!

      Reply

  2. konfab

    June 8, 2016 at 11:13

    Crystal clear video conferencing.

    Reply

  3. eXpZA

    June 8, 2016 at 11:20

    No one has an alarm in their house. People have dinner dates at 10pm. TEN PM? DO YOU NOT HAVE WORK TOMORROW?!

    Reply

    • Tracy Benson

      June 8, 2016 at 11:52

      No one ever works. Or, if they have a job, they somehow still have an apartment / house that is completely disproportionate to their income

      Reply

  4. Kervyn Cloete

    June 8, 2016 at 11:52

    The not saying goodbye on the phone thing has bugged the crap outta me for years. Also, people will make vague dates/appointments like “I’ll pick you up for dinner tomorrow” and never give a time. Is the other person just gonna sit there on the couch all dressed up from 6pm to whenever they show up?

    Reply

    • Tracy Benson

      June 8, 2016 at 11:55

      Hypothetical conversation that was cut from the final edit:
      “I’ll pick you up tomorrow”
      “Where? When? What time?”
      “Dude… didn’t you read the script? It’s in there. Damnit I am working with amateurs!”

      Reply

  5. The Sten

    June 8, 2016 at 11:54

    People in movies have TV’s that go on in an instant “click” and dont have that 2 – 3 second warming up time. Also, they can find numbers in phone books in under 10 seconds.

    Reply

    • Tracy Benson

      June 8, 2016 at 12:04

      Also, as soon as they turn on the TV it’s on the news that is somehow relevant to their current situation

      Reply

  6. Kervyn Cloete

    June 8, 2016 at 11:55

    Why do so many people watch the news in tiny windows on their computers?

    Reply

  7. Alien Emperor Trevor

    June 8, 2016 at 12:03

    “I just heard what happened…”

    What? HOW? It just happened 5 seconds ago!

    Reply

  8. Alien Emperor Trevor

    June 8, 2016 at 12:08

    Every bus is on time. Every train is on time. Every plane is on time. Every boat is on time. EXCEPT. When it mustn’t be for plot purposes.

    Reply

  9. Alien Emperor Trevor

    June 8, 2016 at 12:10

    I can imagine Nick sitting there thinking, “in movies people accept me for what I am”.

    Reply

    • RinceThis

      June 8, 2016 at 13:44

      You shut up! No movie is that far-fetched!

      Reply

  10. Andre116

    June 8, 2016 at 13:30

    Choking someone to death apparently takes roughly 4 seconds. None of that annoying applying force to one’s throat for at least 5mins or so.

    Reply

  11. Andre116

    June 8, 2016 at 13:32

    Cars with an infinite number of gears…and that keeps changing gears even though the drivers hands are not moving to the gear stick.

    Reply

    • Alien Emperor Trevor

      June 8, 2016 at 14:09

      And then they push the accelerator pedal flat again. AGAIN.

      Reply

      • Andre116

        June 8, 2016 at 14:17

        Or when they are racing and they are approaching the finish line and the one guy was apparently only using half his throttle because he suddenly decides that now is the time to put his foot down.

        Reply

  12. Andre116

    June 8, 2016 at 13:33

    ATM. oh…sorry, wrong type of movie.

    Reply

    • RinceThis

      June 8, 2016 at 13:45

      GITFS

      Reply

      • Andre116

        June 8, 2016 at 13:46

        I don’t know what that means!?!?

        Reply

        • Tracy Benson

          June 8, 2016 at 13:49

          Get In The F***ing Sea

          Reply

          • Andre116

            June 8, 2016 at 13:52

            Thanks. That makes sense.

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            June 8, 2016 at 14:10

            I’m still trying to figure out what automatic teller machines have to do with it. O_o

          • Andre116

            June 8, 2016 at 14:19

            Because they can always find one in the movies. Yeah…that is it. Just keep safe search on and you’ll be happier.

          • RinceThis

            June 8, 2016 at 14:21

            lol

  13. Koko

    June 8, 2016 at 14:09

    Breakfast. Too many times they have this nice breakfast prepared and ready, and they grab one slice of bacon and run out the door. Work can wait. Eat the food.

    Reply

  14. Glenn Runnalls

    June 9, 2016 at 22:25

    When anyone makes a call they connect before they can put the mobile phone to their ear and the call is answered one second later.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Check Also

Midweek Movie Mouth-off: what’s on your Christmas wish list?

Christmas is just around the corner and I haven’t even thought about what gifts to get. Or…