This week must be the first time one new release’s title perfectly describes another’s. Yup, Fantastic Four is a Trainwreck, but at least Trainwreck isn’t a train wreck as well.
FANTASTIC FOUR, a contemporary re-imagining of Marvel’s original and longest-running superhero team, centers on four young outsiders who teleport to an alternate and dangerous universe, which alters their physical form in shocking ways. Their lives irrevocably upended, the team must learn to harness their daunting new abilities and work together to save Earth from a former friend turned enemy.
Well, this is sucks. If you read Kervyn’s 2/5 star review earlier this week, you’ll know that Fantastic Four is a horrible waste of time and potential. It starts out as an overly dark and dramatic, slow-burning sci-fi story in the first half, then everything goes wrong and it completely and utterly falls apart in the second half. Damnit, I am so disappointed. No, not even disappointed, I am angry. Legitimately angry. How did they get it so wrong?! And honestly, despite its R rating, I am very concerned that in the clutches of 20th Century Fox, Deadpool will turn out the same way.
Since she was a little girl, it’s been drilled into Amy’s (Schumer) head by her rascal of a dad (Colin Quinn) that monogamy isn’t realistic. Now a magazine writer, Amy lives by that credo-enjoying what she feels is an uninhibited life free from stifling, boring romantic commitment-but in actuality, she’s kind of in a rut. When she finds herself starting to fall for the subject of the new article she’s writing, a charming and successful sports doctor named Aaron Conners (Bill Hader), Amy starts to wonder if other grown-ups, including this guy who really seems to like her, might be on to something.
Amy Schumer’s acting might be top notch in Trainwreck, but her screenwriting should also get its fair share of the praise. Honest, smart and hysterically funny, Trainwreck is welcome a breath of fresh air in the admittedly stale genre of rom-coms, well-deserving of 87% on Rotten Tomatoes.
The Vatican Tapes
THE VATICAN TAPES follows the ultimate battle between good and evil- God versus Satan. Angela Holmes is ordinary 27-year- old until she begins to have a devastating effect on anyone close, causing serious injury and death. Holmes is examined and possession is suspected, but when the Vatican is called upon to exorcise the demon, the possession proves to be an ancient satanic force more powerful than ever imagined. It’s all up to Father Lozano to wage war for more than just Angela’s soul, but for the world as we know it.
What can be said about horror movies that hasn’t been said before? The Vatican Tapes falls into all the usual horror clichés, and doesn’t distinguish itself in any way. Nick hated it, and it barely scared up 15% on Rotten Tomatoes, but some of you that went to our pre-screening on Wednesday didn’t think it was too bad. So, enter at your own risk.
Love & Mercy
LOVE & MERCY presents an unconventional portrait of Brian Wilson, the mercurial singer, songwriter and leader of The Beach Boys. Set against the era defining catalog of Wilson’s music, the film intimately examines the personal voyage and ultimate salvation of the icon whose success came at extraordinary personal cost.
I can’t say I know much about The Beach Boys, that’s definitely more my parent’s music than mine. But apparently this biopic is amazing. Melancholy and bittersweet, Love & Mercy is a must for the fans.
White Bird in a Blizzard
Kat Connors is 17 years old when her perfect homemaker mother, Eve, a beautiful, enigmatic, and haunted woman, disappears – just as Kat is discovering and relishing her newfound sexuality. Having lived for so long in a stifled, emotionally repressed household, she barely registers her mother’s absence and certainly doesn’t blame her doormat of a father, Brock, for the loss. In fact, it’s almost a relief. But as time passes, Kat begins to come to grips with how deeply Eve’s disappearance has affected her. Returning home on a break from college, she finds herself confronted with the truth about her mother’s departure, and her own denial about the events surrounding it.
Weird, indie and off-beat, White Bird In A Blizzard relies heavily on Shailene Woodley’s no-holds-barred performance, which doesn’t quite make up for the uneven mix between sexual drama and mystery thriller. Scoring 55% on Rotten Tomatoes, you’ll either love it or you’ll hate it.
Last Updated: August 14, 2015
August 14, 2015 at 11:35
Haha! Tracy, I never said I HATED it… As such, in so many words… Um…