Home Entertainment Tayler Lautner is going to jump on stuff in new movie, Tracers

Tayler Lautner is going to jump on stuff in new movie, Tracers

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I’m pretty sure that there are people on this planet who would never recognize Taylor Lautner with his shirt on. But hey, I guess that when you possess pectoral muscles with more acting ability than your face, disrobing quickly becomes your go-to move.

And with the Twilight series wrapping up and his co-stars Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson already having their own big movies (Snow White and the Huntsman and Cosmopolis, respectively) coming out soon, Chesty McWolfboy needs to get his abs in the blockbuster door as well.

And he’s hoping that freerunning/parkour action movie Tracers will be just the thing to do that.

According to the press release, the film will see Lautner in the role of Cam, a New York City bike messenger who “is the hottest thing on two wheels, but is in debt to an organized crime gang.  When he crashes his bike into a sexy stranger, Nikki, Cam is immediately seduced by her and the thrill of the world of parkour.”

Firstly, I tried very hard to not laugh at at that “hottest thing on two wheels” line, but failed miserably. Secondly, this Nikki girl can’t be too good at this parkour stuff, because last time I checked, parkour involved running and jumping over stuff, not into them.

Tracers is set to be directed by Daniel Benmayor, who has Bruc, the Manhunt and Paintball to his directorial credit, all of which are movies I had never heard of until about an hour ago. And based on the middling at best reviews for them, I’m in no hurry to correct that oversight.

My further extensive Youtube research in parkour has also revealed that a number of these parkour guys are pretty ripped and prefer running around topless. Man, Lautner, if you mess this one up…

Last Updated: May 15, 2012

4 Comments

  1. Hey, even the best parkour practitioners is not invulnerable to the strategically placed banana peel… 
    And come on, lay off the Lautner can’t act bullshit.  Did you really sit through all of Schwarzenegger’s awesome action movies and go:  Yeah, the dude can act.  Really.  Give him his Oscar already… ?

    Or did you just want to see him deliver one liners and blow shit up and kill people?

    Reply

    • Kervyn Cloete

      May 15, 2012 at 15:50

      Look, I’m never gonna accuse Arnie of being a true thespian but what he, and the action heroes like him, lacked in pure acting ability, they made up for in charisma and screen presence. And that’s something that unfortunately you can’t be taught, you either have it or you don’t

      Taylor Lautner very much doesn’t. There was a review of Abduction last year that summed it up it up far better than I ever could:

      “There’s a reason Taylor Lautner was nearly replaced after the first Twilight movie: He’s not an actor. He’s a pair of abs attached to an inbred two by four. There are park statues with more range than Taylor Lautner. The kid is about as versatile as a blood clot and as charming as a yeast infection.”

      http://www.pajiba.com/film_reviews/abduction-movie-review.php 

      Reply

      • Wtf101

        May 15, 2012 at 16:26

        No.  They wanted to replace Lautner because they felt he did not have the size to continue playing Jacob Black.  Then he beefed up and pretty much nailed it.

        Do you really think it is fair to comment on the supposed range of an actor when he hasn’t really done a hell of a lot of movies to begin with?

        And even then, if the roles that he portrayed never required him to have much of ‘range?’

        Please.  Spare the criticism if he has at least done something that required him to run through the streets yelling “Stella!  Stella!” and he fell flat on his face.

        I for one hope that Lautner has a kickass career ahead of him.  From what I have seen of him I believe he has the chops to be, in the very least, a good action movie star. 

        Besides, I quite liked Abduction.  There are far worse out there…

        Reply

        • Kervyn Cloete

          May 16, 2012 at 07:03

          Even if had just starred in a single film, I would still criticize his range. Unless said movie calls for him to have one expression displaying one emotion for a full 90 mins, there is a call for range. My criticisms of the Twilight series aside, it had dramatic moments, action moments, serious moments and funny moments. And I felt he fell flat on all of them.

          But that’s the beauty of opinions. We don’t all have to have the same one. 

          And you’re right, he might have a kickass career ahead of him. Keanu Reeves, Channing Tatum, Paul Walker… These guys have all had very successful careers with almost no range whatsoever. But I’ll call their range into question as well.

          Reply

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