Welcome to the good, the bad and the ugly of the last week, the only article that is written directly from inside the Negative Zone!
Best Story
I honestly have no problem with Sony making money off of the PS4 and beyond. Good sales means more cash to pump into games, with more games buying more PS4 consoles and accessories. Win win!
Worst Story
As if the gravy train known as Government doesn’t have enough of your cash, with a fresh new set of sin taxes due to hit your pocket when the budget for the year is announced, there’ll now be taxes to pay on all your digital goods.
Which means that I’m going to start paying a bloody 14% VAT on all my subscriptions to all,er, um, entertainment websites.
Best ION Header
Some folks say that we use Melissa Clarke as our go-to ION lady. And that’s 100% true, yes it is. But honestly, how can more Melissa Clarke ever be seen as something bad?
Most Comments
Gavin hasn’t kept quiet about this, after he notched up 238 comments for his article on the reasons why we’re unlikely to see GTA V on PC. And I’m starting to think that it’s mighty strange that Disqus has been acting up ever since he got those numbers…
Least Comments
Something Nintendo something Yamauchi heirs selling shares something Nintendo needs to change something. Yep, that sums up the three comments of interest that Steve had on his Ninty article.
Batman Of The Week
Geoff friggin’ takes it again. At this point, I’m ready to throw in the towel, because the insomniac Asian somehow manages to keep getting all the right Batman points. Damn you Geoff, the true Batman shall return one day!
Header Image Of The Week
Seeing as Steve dug out my one true weakness, Monty Python, I’m awarding him header image of the week for this subtle stab at the holy grail. Also, we’re changing his name…to Tim.
Comment Of The Week
Points to Mark Vincer for kicking off a comment thread about the Penis Brotherhood in Rust, with this full functioning gem:
I hear that they are stiff competition with the other brotherhoods
Heh, dick jokes.
Last Updated: February 7, 2014
Admiral Chief in Vegas
February 7, 2014 at 12:34
Heh, dick jokes indeed.
Man, not even a mention about my marketing mumbo jumbo?
Sheesh
😉
General JJ the ashamed
February 7, 2014 at 12:34
I know! That stuff was legit!
RinceThis2014
February 7, 2014 at 12:41
Agreed. You was robbed!
Admiral Chief in Vegas
February 7, 2014 at 12:43
janee, Darryn’s weakness to dick is the real case here
XD
ToshZA
February 7, 2014 at 12:44
Daym son. xD
RinceThis2014
February 7, 2014 at 12:44
It’s on his mind, what with Feb 14 round the corner…
ToshZA
February 7, 2014 at 12:45
And here I thought Admiral’s comment was enough. Rince proves me wrong. Ho shiet.
Rainman
February 7, 2014 at 13:22
No it is in his hand….
General JJ the ashamed
February 7, 2014 at 12:45
Call it his balls and chain.
ToshZA
February 7, 2014 at 12:43
TL;DR
Admiral Chief in Vegas
February 7, 2014 at 12:34
In other news, I’m invading the Western Cape on Monday to Wednesday for some “werks”, so gimme a shout while I’m down there
General JJ the ashamed
February 7, 2014 at 12:35
Just know the difference between Rince’s normal shout and his mating call. It could save your life.
RinceThis2014
February 7, 2014 at 12:42
Ka ka! Ka ka! He’s going to be based in flipping Wellington though…
General JJ the ashamed
February 7, 2014 at 12:45
Wellington? I don’t think your cry carries that far.
Well, you know how it is here in the Republic of Cape Town. Everything west of the tunnel is Cape Town, everything east of it is Gauteng. So luckily he’s still in town.
RinceThis2014
February 7, 2014 at 12:47
Very true 🙂
ToshZA
February 7, 2014 at 12:47
It truly is a small world down in the cape, isn’t it?
General JJ the ashamed
February 7, 2014 at 12:49
It really is.
But it’s not about the size…as they say.
TiMsTeR1033
February 7, 2014 at 12:49
its the crazies that live there..
Hammersteyn
February 7, 2014 at 12:36
LOL @ stiff competition
Kensei Seraph Moe Ninja
February 7, 2014 at 12:38
If Steve is having his name changed to Tim then what do we call the old Tim from now on?
Norm
February 7, 2014 at 12:41
Timmeh?
TiMsTeR1033
February 7, 2014 at 12:57
THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE
Skyblue
February 7, 2014 at 19:00
“There can be only one”
If you gonna be quoting legit immortal sword wielding legends, best you make sure get the wording straight, Tanya.
ToshZA
February 7, 2014 at 12:39
Haha, were there other people who pointed out the Melissa Clarke thing? Or just me?
Unavengedavo
February 7, 2014 at 12:39
Is this the true Batman?
Unavengedavo
February 7, 2014 at 12:41
I think Mark Vincer had to think long and hard about that comment O_o
ToshZA
February 7, 2014 at 12:42
I want to find a face-palm gif, but I’m just too placid. It’s this place, it’s rubbing off on me. 😉
Alien Emperor Trevor
February 7, 2014 at 14:45
placid or… flacid
ToshZA
February 7, 2014 at 19:57
Flacid didn’t work with the sentence, while being more appropriate to the references I was making. I had lazy, flacid, and went with placid because not only did it make sense within the sentence, but smart people such as yourself would get the connection.
Anon
February 7, 2014 at 12:48
I have a question, if you please?
How does the Batman pointies thingies work? Not talking about Clooney Nipples now…
Thanks!
*anon*
Unavengedavo
February 7, 2014 at 12:51
I think it works the same as this…
RinceThis2014
February 7, 2014 at 12:53
nope, won;t do it!
Unavengedavo
February 7, 2014 at 13:00
But everyone loves Who’s Line Is It Anyway O_o
RinceThis2014
February 7, 2014 at 12:53
It’s to do with the number of views per page, not just the number of comments, I think…
Admiral Chief in Vegas
February 7, 2014 at 12:59
Internal app for monitoring traffic/hits/etc on each article, winner takes the cowl
Exalted Overlord Geoffrey Tim
February 7, 2014 at 13:03
We have an internal stat tracking thing that tracks hits, and community engagement on articles over 7 days, with a weighted average. It’s all quote technical, but on our CMS we can see what sort of things people like to read, and like to comment on. At the end of the week, the writer who’s got the most engagement is declared batman, for no reason other than dick-measuring and habit tracking.
For the record, I have the biggest dick this week.
Admiral Chief in Vegas
February 7, 2014 at 13:05
Yes, no one is a bigger dick than you 😛
And “quote technical” eh?
Unavengedavo
February 7, 2014 at 14:05
Like we confirmed previously… When he lays it on the keyboard it goes all the way from A to Z
Admiral Chief in Vegas
February 7, 2014 at 14:10
Mr AZian
Alien Emperor Trevor
February 7, 2014 at 14:46
on a Qwerty or Dvorak keyboard?
Unavengedavo
February 7, 2014 at 13:11
So that’s why Zoe can’t win?
TiMsTeR1033
February 7, 2014 at 13:26
shame!
Her Highness the Hipster
February 7, 2014 at 13:50
finally! the truth comes out! you must have a penis to engage in the measuring
Unavengedavo
February 7, 2014 at 14:06
This is sexism at its worst… I demand that someone writes an article about this!
RinceThis2014
February 7, 2014 at 13:22
When you say technical, you mean flipping a coin, amright?
Weanerdog
February 7, 2014 at 13:47
We the community demand that we have live batman tracking on the front page so that we may manipulate it and have Zoe as a topless ION.
TiMsTeR1033
February 7, 2014 at 12:55
BUT I AM TIM! FUCK THIS BS!
Unavengedavo
February 7, 2014 at 12:59
But I though you were Tanya? *runs*
TiMsTeR1033
February 7, 2014 at 13:00
Ill find you! you don’t live that far away.
Unavengedavo
February 7, 2014 at 13:03
The difference is you still need to find me, I know exactly where you live 😀
TiMsTeR1033
February 7, 2014 at 13:05
Alot of units where I live…
Admiral Chief in Vegas
February 7, 2014 at 13:02
XDXDXD
Alien Emperor Trevor
February 7, 2014 at 13:14
Two Tims is a good start, but we need a few more before we can craft the ultimate human cenTIMpede.
TiMsTeR1033
February 7, 2014 at 13:24
You sure want an evil like that to exist? Think carefully Trevor think very very carefully.
Alien Emperor Trevor
February 7, 2014 at 13:31
Yes. Thinking carefully is for NERDS!
Rock789
February 7, 2014 at 14:27
2 Tims is a good start. But… Do 2 Tims make a right? **runs**
Weanerdog
February 7, 2014 at 13:50
Are you the Tim from the penis brotherhood video
TiMsTeR1033
February 7, 2014 at 13:08
Also, who was the dipshit downvoting the crap outta me in one article… flipping hell don’t you got something better to do man, like playing in the traffic and by traffic I mean in middle of a highway, and blind fold yourself too. See it as a challenge and you level up everytime a car hoots at you.
Weanerdog
February 7, 2014 at 13:50
There appear to be two dipshits, you will need to modify your traffic game to include MP
Johan Fourie
February 7, 2014 at 14:56
I actually clicked on the article link, after seeing the image header, thinking there might be something in here about Gamer Poop.
Alien Emperor Trevor
February 7, 2014 at 14:58
The D Alien Emperor Trevor
• a day ago
?
I heard he died of Dia-bidibidibidetes.
This has my vote for comment of the week. The worst thing is, most people just won’t get it :/
Skyblue
February 7, 2014 at 19:08
Missed the original comment or what it was in answer to but sounds like a great crack with an auction reference 🙂