This trailer for the new THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE 3 is exactly what you don't need

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human-centipede-3-final-sequence

I really do wonder about the world I live in. A world where movies like Sharknado or Step Up can still attract audiences to the point where it’s lucrative to those involved. My mind was blown at the level of depravity our current audiences indulge in when The Saw came out but it was really launched into the sun’s stratosphere when The Human Centipede became (to some) a cult classic. No, a cult classic is The Rocky Horror Picture Show or The Crow, not a movie about stitching mouths to areas nature never intended them to be! Well be still my currently burning up mind, because not only did that movie receive a sequel, it’s now getting a third and much like any second or third movie, the more the merrier, only in this case probably not so merry for the characters involved.

This time round though we are assured by director Tom Six (please don’t let that be an indication of how many more of these will come out) that The Human Centipede 3: Final Sequence will contain political undertones and self realisation:

“THC Part 3 will be totally different from Parts 1 and 2 and certainly not as gross. But it will be the most controversial one politically-wise. It will have a lot of self-mockery and will be the most darkly comical of the three” said Tom Six last year.

Yeah, I’m sure it’s going to be a regular day Forest Gump. This time the movie is going to be set in a prison where the warden is on his last warning before he’s replaced by the local governor. Desperate to find a way to scare the inmates into obedience he comes up with a cunning plan. You know, attach them by the mouth to their butts. I mean who didn’t see that coming? So yeah. Not half a dozen people, not even a dozen, 500 people, linked, in a human chain…

Here’s the official synopsis:

Bully prison warden Bill Boss (Dieter Laser), leading a big state prison in the US of A, has a lot of problems; his prison statistically has the highest amount of prison riots, medical costs and staff turnover in the country. But foremost he is unable to get the respect he thinks he deserves from his inmates and the state Governor (Eric Roberts). He constantly fails in experimenting with different ideas for the ideal punishment to get the inmates in line, which drives him, together with the sizzling heat, completely insane. Under threats of termination by the Governor, his loyal right hand man Dwight (Laurence R Harvey) comes up with a brilliant idea. A revolutionary idea which could change the American prison system for good and save billions of dollars. An idea based on the notorious Human Centipede movies, that will literally and figuratively get the inmates on their knees, creating the ultimate punishment and deterrent for anyone considering a life of crime. Having nothing to lose, Bill and Dwight create a jaw-dropping 500-person prison centipede.

“Jaw dropping”, I see what you did there… Where do I book my tickets? Have a watch of this trailer. WARNING. Make sure you haven’t eaten for at least an hour and have a trash can close at hand.

This soon-to-be-cult-classic will be with us from 22 May on VOD and in very selected cinemas, you know, the ones that have curtains at the back and sticky chairs.

Last Updated: April 10, 2015

Nick Reay

I have been an avid fan of movies ever since I discovered Santa Clause wasn't real, a day marked in my memory by my first viewing of It's a Wonderful Life, which wasn't so wonderful that day. Since then I've watched thousands of movies and even fooled my parents into putting me through uni to get a degree in the subject. I first started writing as a journalist for The South African Newspaper before moving onto communications for an NGO trying to save the planet. Unfortunately my recommendations to the CEO that we should all don rings imbued with the powers of earth, fire, wind, water and HEART went unheard. Now I pretend the end isn't nigh by hiding in movies.

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