You're going to need every bullet for this first trailer for THE COLONY

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Sitcom/Daytime soapie actor -> Small movie cast member -> Big movie  co-star -> Big movie leading man -> Big movie cameo ->  Straight to DVD leading man -> CSI spinoff. This is the unofficial actor’s lifecycle, the tail end of which Laurence Fishburne currently finds himself on. But it looks like he’s trying to claw his way back into relevancy, one movie that will be seen by just a small handful of people at at time, beginning with post apocalyptic sci-fi horror The Colony.

Set during the next ice age, an outpost of colonists struggle to survive below the world’s frozen surface. Short on supplies, and plagued by illness and internal conflict, the colonists suspect the worst when they mysteriously lose contact with their only other known settlement, Colony 5. When Colony 7’s leader Briggs (Laurence Fishburne) decides to lead an expedition to discover what happened, he is challenged by Mason (Bill Paxton), his former comrade-in-arms, who has his own ideas of what is best for the colonists. Briggs takes two volunteers on the mission, the young Graydon, and Sam (Kevin Zegers), a strong-willed mechanic who seizes the opportunity to confront the icy wasteland that orphaned him. When they reach their destination, the team discover a threat much worse than nature and must battle to save themselves and protect their fellow colonists in what might be humanity’s last stand.

It would be completely understandable if you mistook that to be a trailer for a  documentary about life in Stalinist Russia. In Mother Russia, you are the fast food!

Jokes aside though, while this looks mildly intriguing and Fishburne tends to always show up with his game face on no matter how bad the scripts get, I have a feeling that this will smash the box office with about as much impact as a mildly damp tissue thrown by a toddler. This seems like exactly the type of low cost entertainment that you hire at the video store because their last copy of that new Christian Bale movie is already out, and you’ve driven too far (and even put on pants!) to go home empty handed.

Read  This new trailer for Doctor Who is ready to help the universe!

Last Updated: March 19, 2013

Kervyn Cloete

A man of many passions - but very little sleep - I've been geeking out over movies, video games, comics, books, anime, TV series and lemon meringues as far back as I can remember. So show up for the geeky insight, stay for the delicious pastries.

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