Is it 2014 again? It certainly feels that way, what with gaming press hyping up a new game that features you as the hero of the hour, wielding fantastic powers and fighting back against impossible odds to save humanity during their darkest hour. There’s a lot of familiarity that Anthem brings to the table when you compare it to Destiny, and linking the strengths of the two wholly separate game franchises against one another is a task that is frankly lazy, unoriginal and silly in the grand scheme of things.
Attributes which I gladly embody and have tattooed across my arms, because if you’re going to own something, it’s best to make a copyright with ink. I have no idea where this is going, so back on track: Destiny vs Anthem. Which game is the best? On the one hand, you have a brand new experience to enjoy, while on the other greasy appendage you have a product which has several years of content to explore, woven into its very DNA.
Time for a proper showdown. Using cutting edge science, I’ve placed Anthem and Destiny against each other in a crucible of categories that truly matter. The stuff that the fans are asking for. So let’s get this show on the road and begin with:
Loading screens
Anthem: I’ve seen civilisations rise and fall between Anthem missions. I’ve watched the world repeat cycles of turmoil and rebirth, seen the tides bring change and I’ve watched the stars chart new paths through the cosmos as numerous galaxies drift further and further away away from one another into the cold dark vacuum of space itself.
Plus I’ve also managed to make myself an actual cup of Dolce Gusto pod coffee between levels, so yeah, Anthem kinda of has you waiting ages to get from point A to point B. At this point, I’m Saving Private Ryan Matt Damon just before the end credits.
Destiny 2: Also long, just like my dad telling a terrible joke with an equally terribly punchline, but at least I can gawk at gorgeous vistas while I wait to touch down on Mars and see some random Guardian doing a weird emote. Just standing there, dancing. For hours on end.
Winner: Destiny 2
Lore
Destiny 2: Destiny 2’s lore reads like it was written by university philosophy and media studies majors who are desperate to validate their degrees. The myths, the legends and the stories of Destiny 2 form an incomprehensible melting pot of vague nonsense that reads like a FaceBook post from your one friend who always has to talk above you because they’ve read every single issue of Popular Mechanics. And it’s not even a good story, now that I think about it.
Anthem: Anthem’s also got a weird story that tows the line between hand-wavey nonsense and actual super-science that makes sense, but it has the benefit of giving you an entire novel’s worth of exposition to read through at your own leisure and doesn’t try to elevate its tale as some sort of classical half-truth mixed with the mad ramblings of a hobo high on cocaine and powdered rat.
Winner: Anthem
Character classes
Destiny 2: Destiny 2 provides three Guardians with three sub-classes attached to each of them.
Anthem: Anthem provides four Iron Man suits, four is more than three plus you can do a three-point landing. Game, set and check-match.
Winner: Anthem
User interface
Destiny 2: For a game that gives you ammo, health, shields, two special abilities and a bar for your Super-duper awesome Extreme 5000 ultimate ability, Destiny 2’s UI is actually streamlined, sleek and non-intrusive.
Anthem: The entire UI for Anthem looks like the aftermath of a violent graphic design explosive diarrhoea episode.
Winner: Destiny 2
Villains
Destiny 2: So far, Destiny 2 has had a literal idea as a villain (swept under the floor), Space-Satan (dead), Space-Bane (dead) and a gigantic space-anus with teeth (dead) as its primary antagonists.
Anthem: From what I’ve played so far, Anthem’s main villain is Iron Man Shredder. Now even though I’ve got a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles tattoo of ol’ Oroki Saki that is based on his killer appearance from the 2014 TMNT movie, I just want to ensure you that I’ll still be as impartial as ever for this breakdown.
Winner: Anthem because I’m a liar.
Number of Nathan Fillions
Destiny 2: Currently zero, because Bungie decided to kill the best character in their franchise. Bastards.
Anthem: Definitely zero, although I may have spotted him in a loading screen. Maybe, I don’t know.
Winner: Saints Row Gat out of Hell for casting Fillion as god.
Best use of Glenn
Destiny 2: Despite Glenn being mah Destiny boooyeeeeeeee who helped Al and I get our Whisper of the worms sniper rifles, Bungie has yet to honour his valiant service and replace the sweeping droid in the tower with him.
Anthem: Pretty sure that’s Glenn in the marketplace right there.
Winner: Anthem
Most punchable face
Destiny 2: Everyone wears a helmet, making fist-to-face techniques near impossible to successfully connect with. Although for now, I’m going to say Uldren Sov. He knows what he did.
Anthem: F***ing Owen. I’m six hours into Anthem so far, and if hour ten doesn’t end with his smug over-eager face being smeared all over the Monitor’s fist when he finally activates his tragic third act character development sacrifice powers, then I’m going to be disappointed.
Winner (kind of because we all lose): Anthem
Ability to create epileptic seizures through its combat
Destiny 2: Have you ever played a round of Mayhem where the server was filled with Voidwalker Warlocks? That’s why you’re currently foaming at the mouth.
Anthem: Like Destiny 2 above, only all the freakin’ time and my eyeballs may have just exploded after being exposed to pure unicorn sparkles and cinematic embers dialled up to 11.
Winner: Destiny 2
And the overall winner is…Warframe!
Yup, like an RKO that came from outta nowhere, Digital Extremes and their indie wunderkind have popped up to deal devastating nutshots to both Anthem and Destiny, thanks to their mix of polish, deep system designs and community feedback that have combined to form a game that looks like the bastard child of both franchises had Terry Gilliam been the father. Plus it’s free, so in this cynically cheap day and age, we all know who the real winner is.
Last Updated: February 18, 2019
Pariah
February 18, 2019 at 14:58
The game with 2 hours worth of story and 200 hours worth of grind to get there wins? Really?
Also Owen needs more than just 1 punch in the face. Seriously…
Alien Emperor Trevor
February 18, 2019 at 15:06
It’s close, but Warframe wins because:
1) it has the best, fastest loading screens with pretty space ships
2) over 30 classes
3) its villains are former worker slave clones, EA, space virus zombie things, and terraforming AIs.
4) and so many ways to induce seizures while playing. Looking specifically at you, simulor.
Pariah
February 18, 2019 at 15:06
Sure but its art style looks like someone really really REALLY loves the liquefy tool in Photoshop, the “classes” don’t really change gameplay much, with a few notable exceptions. Villains all look the same. Environments all look the same. Everything sort of looks the same. When you think about it, there are only a few small set pieces that are expanded and randomised to create more “content”. The grind to get anything past a certain MR is insane, with no real reason to do the grind except “Oh look my MR is higher than yours”. The best weapons and frames, once acquired, are all you need. There’s no real sense of progression, or need for it.
Alien Emperor Trevor
February 18, 2019 at 15:25
Those weren’t the categories used in judging. 😉
Pariah
February 18, 2019 at 15:25
Piss off with your logic and reasoning. XD
Admiral Chief
February 18, 2019 at 15:15
YOU SHUT IT MR8 NOOBLET!!!
😛
(Or were you MR12?)
Pariah
February 18, 2019 at 15:15
I think 12 yeah. XD
Admiral Chief
February 18, 2019 at 15:15
Ok, well, YOU SHUT IT MR12 NOOBLET
xD
The only guy here with higher MR than me is @disqus_DoEH3TsffU:disqus
Admiral Chief
February 18, 2019 at 15:06
Come now, 2 hours story? I’d say solid 20
Pariah
February 18, 2019 at 15:06
I suppose they did add a few more quests. What’s it, one a year? An hour or so each? Not bad!
/s
Admiral Chief
February 18, 2019 at 15:15
Yeah man, episodic. Also, some of those quests hit harder than a I AM YOUR FATHER plot twist
Pariah
February 18, 2019 at 15:15
That I cannot dispute!
justlikemo
February 18, 2019 at 15:06
I’m still adding scores here, what the
Admiral Chief
February 18, 2019 at 15:06
Yosssssssss
Admiral Chief
February 18, 2019 at 15:16
https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e9f6f7c594dffa588f31a5a1ced221095b95663e83b9caeb3d26a7353399070c.gif
Kromas
February 18, 2019 at 15:16
Saints Row Gat out of Hell for casting Fillion as god.
Winning Article.
BakedBagel
February 18, 2019 at 15:16
I actually thought that pic of Glenn was CGI
lmfao
Kervyn Cloete
February 18, 2019 at 16:03
I legit paused my game so that I could laugh my ass off the first time I saw it, hence why I had to get Darryn to include it in this article.
Incubus
February 18, 2019 at 16:02
This “genre” began and ended with Destiny 1. Change my mind.
Caveshen Rajman
February 18, 2019 at 15:06
5/7 solid read.
G8crasha
February 18, 2019 at 15:16
I don’t know if it was just me, but the Anthem servers were temperamental yesterday. Plus, the world of Anthem is limited in environments , unless there’s more to see as I progress further in the game (Lvl. 12 ATM). I do love the gameplay though. That’s the only positive I have for the game ATM! Warframe I tried for a while and stopped, but admittedly, that was many years ago. Maybe I should give it another go.
Captain JJ
February 18, 2019 at 15:16
So what you’re saying is that Warframe is the best?
I don’t know Warframe, but I hear this is the cool thing to say.
RinceThis
February 18, 2019 at 15:43
hahaha! Most excellent!
The Quest for Glory
February 18, 2019 at 17:02
Felt like Prince Uldren was missing from punchable face.
Burma Jones
February 18, 2019 at 17:11
Anthem is a terrible game. Destiny at least has a genuine end game and pvp. Also, the writer of this article is extremely unclever and unfunny. And sucks at writing.
The D
February 18, 2019 at 18:05
Also the sky is blue.
Leo Falcon
February 18, 2019 at 19:37
I was going to argue the abscenc of warfraWa in this article but you did honor the game by the end. I like destiny more than warfWarf but there no denying that Warframe is a better loot game.
the Tiny
February 19, 2019 at 17:13
Had me in the first half, not gonna lie
You sir, understand what people wanna know about.
Go forth, and continue bein’ awesome.