We’ve all got that guilty pleasure game. A title generally considered to be terrible by the masses, but secretly enjoyed in the privacy of your own lair. For me, that game is Bulletstorm. Now make no mistake, developer People Can Fly created something that is a fully adequate shooter combined with hilarious over the top death physics and lasso action.
It just never really caught on, which is a shame as Bulletstorm had some of the most insane dialogue ever committed to a small screen. Lines that included verbal gems such as:
Here comes Butterdick Jones and his heavenly asshole machine!
Need to get some pads for my ass. Old gal wasn’t built for that much abuse.
I named him Waggleton P. Tallylicker, but I never got the chance to tell him… He will be remembered…
That uh.. f****’ computer in your skull needs some anti-depressants.
Yeah?..Well go f*** yourself! You sh**piles give chase I will kill your dicks!
Yet you still reek like sunbaked asshole.
Well, now, hold yer dick for one second, ya fungle rimjob!
I’m violently fiddlin’ with ma balls in anticipation of your arrival, Trish!
Oh my yes. The maturity of a 12 year-old if he wrote Broadway plays. So yeah, I dig Bulletstorm. That game came out in 2011 though, and it never got the sequel that it teased which was just a damn shame. But back at E3 this year, there were rumours of a Bulletstorm remaster floating around. And it sounds like those rumours weren’t far off. According to PCGamesN, a sighting on Brazil’s rating board, the Classificação Indicativa, has revealed a listing for Bulletstorm: Full Clip Edition.
Here’s where things get interesting: This remaster of Bulletstorm is listed as having Gearbox as the publisher, a company who works under 2K Games. And that’s odd, as Bulletstorm was originally published by Electronic Arts. Weird huh? Anyway, Gearbox has had some experience with remasters, as the recent tweaked version of Homeworld earned rave re-reviews, and they’ve already got a Duke Nukem 3D remaster on the way already.
All this, and its scheduled for a 2017 release. Waggleton P. Tallylicker shall ride again!
Last Updated: September 30, 2016