Cheated to earn gold in Witcher 3? The taxman’s coming for you…

1 min read

There are only three certainties in life; Death, Taxes, and that Darryn will mispronounce words that no other human beings over the age of three have trouble saying.

The Witcher 3’s first expansion, Hearts of Stone is out now – and like the base game before it, it’s rather excellent – and a great reason to dust if your copy of The Witcher 3 if you’ve been playing other things since. It does, however, have something none of us like very much -and perhaps the worst sort of character you’d want to see if you’re trying to escape reality: The Taxman.

CD Projekt Red have cleverly put in a taxman, who knows whether you’ve been naughty or nice. You see, there were a few exploits in The Witcher 3 that could be used to farm for gold, essentially destroying the virtual economy. Perhaps you killed a hundred cows for their hide, or traded oysters for their pearls so you could sell them for a massive profit.

The taxman, he knows (Via Kotaku).




But before you panic about the prospect of having to give your hard-earned gold to the state, if you promise that you’ve not done any of this, you’re let off scot-free, and even given a tax certificate. So just like real life, if you’re in to tax evasion.



You can watch the whole exchange via video if you like, courtesy of WhatsMyGame. There’s a lot more bureaucratic twaddle in the video, so it’s certainly worth watching.

Last Updated: October 15, 2015

Geoffrey Tim

Editor. I'm old, grumpy and more than just a little cynical. One day, I found myself in possession of a NES, and a copy of Super Mario Bros 3. It was that game that made me realise that games were more than just toys to idly while away time - they were capable of being masterpieces. I'm here now, looking for more of those masterpieces.

  • Alien Emperor Trevor

    lolllllllllll That is genius.

  • Grand Admiral Chief


    • Grand Admiral Chief

      Also, just for Geoff:

      • Brady miaau

        And My daughter. Sent link to my wife, thanks.

        • Grand Admiral Chief

          Today, Geoff will be getting LOADS of Minions

          • You fiend you 🙂

          • Brady miaau

            Does he need more help? Or just being fiendly?

            Are Darryn, Matthy, Kyle, Zoe and so forth not enough?

          • Grand Admiral Chief

            What do you think?


          • Brady miaau

            I try not to, the doctor says it causes headaches. And to pay here.

      • Hammersteyn


        • Grand Admiral Chief


          • Dutch Matrix


          • Hammersteyn


          • Grand Admiral Chief

            *pauses hammer_spellchecker.bat

  • Brady miaau

    Ah tax. How complicated. The taxman hires people to close the loopholes, so the corporations hire people to find more and so and so on. Asimov, in his Foundation novel, made that point.

    I love the way CDPR looks at real world and game world and somehow uses game world as a mirror into real world. All while keeping it light-hearted and fun.

    • Alien Emperor Trevor

      Looking at the world with all its… imp-perfections.

      • Get in the corner!

        • Brady miaau

          Why? That was great.

          Is this like a hulk thing? (Edit – Hulk is green, right?)

      • Brady miaau

        certainly, yes. Myth-Nomers and Im-Pervections

        Not a bad book.

  • StarKitty

    Man, that is brilliant.

  • Oh man I love these people! Fan service to a new level.

  • I so look forward to getting home and jamming Witcher III! Been way too long since I could.

    • Grand Admiral Chief


      • Dutch Matrix

        THE SIMS 4 LYF!

      • Actually… Guild broke me! He made me play Destiny… And… And… I ENJOYED IT! The shame!

        • Alien Emperor Trevor

        • Grand Admiral Chief

          Guild likes breaking things

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            Does that make Rince his trophy?

          • Grand Admiral Chief

            I’m not touching that with a borrowed braai tong

    • Alien Emperor Trevor

      This weekend we start the expansion. WOOHOO!

      • So… I’ll be doing that sometime in 2017?

        • Nikola

          Just play Destiny you know you want to;)

  • WitWolfy

    If he came to me.. I’d be like.. “I defeated the Wild hunt.. YOU’RE WELCOME!”

  • Spy Master Tokashi

    That is funny…

    I really do not understand why people had to cheat, it is so easy to make gold in Witcher 3. I had 40k before I started the final part, then I upgraded everything and bought potions etc. and I still had about 15k left after that.

    Kiddies today are not that financially bright anymore 😉

  • Lol wurt?

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